this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2023
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Don't be sorry for me, I just helplessly watched. My wife is the one who did the work.
I totally agree with what you say. The joyous aspect is definitely there, when the birth is done and "holy hell we just made a human!". But that doesn't in any way diminish the pain and everything around.
But, contrary to the pain and all, we as a society talk enough about the joyous part. We just "forget" to talk about (and give credit for) the pain, the permanent injuries, the trauma and the mental health aspects of pregnancy, birth and getting a child through the first few years.
Your wife went through hell and back, there's no doubt about that. But to watch a loved one suffer is pain in its own right. It may be small compared to what she went through, but that doesn't make it unimportant. In the same way that the joy of having a child doesn't diminish the pain, the magnitude of your wife's suffering doesn't diminish yours either. Take care.