this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2024
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personally I wouldn't mind whinging, it's just a coping mechanism
it's when they are also abusive to me or are angry when offered assistance that i nope out, iow, is it real or is it a game, is it tragedy or a personality disorder
the woman sounds isolated and in need of an ear, would benefit from joining a mom's group
Playgroups are a lifeline for mums and dads. I still talk to mums who I met through there.
She sort of expects you to get involved with their shit like bitching about him to you or whatever as if she expects you to fix it? And at first you kind of understand, we all do it to a lesser degree. But after the 8th time of hearing how horrible a situation is that has a really obvious (if uncomfortable) solution it gets tedious as fuck! Yes, life is hard sometimes, but if you never make an effort to fix things it wont get better. A great example is the dog. She'll go "Oh the dog is so hard to manage" "have you taken him to training yet?" "No, not yet, I've just been sooo busy with X" Right.... its been 2 years bro. At at certain point this is YOUR fault.
Agreed they need a support network, just dont think we can be it for them.
Not all effort is visible. The biggest effort a person makes is getting to the psychological position where they are able to understand what is happening , understand themselves and start to look for ways to make change.
If they get angry when they are offered help or helped then it's a game and then I would outright stop. If they are abusive then I would stop.