this post was submitted on 27 Jun 2024
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A lot of the fear of "conversion" really feels like parents getting ornery because someone might "damage their property" by telling them that being gay is perfectly fine. They want to have the whole heterosexual experience they had but lived vicariously all over again through someone they can pilot through life like a little low maintenance automoton. They want to narrow the field of choices to the ones they want.
You see it expressed all over the place. If you choose not to want kids or marry, pick a career they don't understand or would pick for themselves they tighten the thumbscrews. So often they don't love their kids they just love what they represent... Genetic legacy or bragging rights or a vehicle for constant validation. Being LGBTQIA+ is a threat because that represents paths that they would not have chosen. They can't empathize or desire it...
But estrangement has always been a thing. Kids always become adults and adults always have choices.. but we never forget what it was like to be a kid without autonomy. One day that kid is going to be able to make their own choices and there's not a thing their parent can do about it. I love and value my parents because they always treated me like my own person. I always consider their advice seriously and give them a high priority. Fillial piety is no burden when it feels like returning the support and love. It never sits uneasy. I know a lot of people who struggle because they are biologically programmed to have a bond but they just can't because the choices their parents made amd continue to attempt to make for them has left lasting damage.