It's not appropriate to take someone's joyful conversation about their experiences and shift the focus to you and your past trauma. It's an incredibly shitty thing to do.

Correct. That's why I called it oversharing and rude.

Calling it victimizing someone is just overreach, especially without significantly more context. Comparing being annoyed at something someone said online that was thoughtless and rude to being a victim of someone is trivializing IMO.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (3 children)

The context you are missing is that these interactions aren't limited to strangers or the internet, and typically form a pattern of regular behaviour vs just a one off comment.

A person is a victim of and suffers from the effects of their own traumatic experiences and instead of learning to deal with them and heal, they induce others to suffer some those effects as well; thus turning others into victims of that same trauma.

It's not as big and dramatic as a murder, but it's still victimization.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

That's a way to look at it. As a person with C-PTSD it's not something easily dealt with or healed from because society isn't that skilled at helping with it, and my brain was shaped by constant bullying and abuse for the first 12 years of my life. Saying I need to 'heal' is like telling someone with ADHD they need to 'heal'. PTSD, for me, is a form of ND. I can learn better coping mechanisms and my symptoms can be more manageable, especially with better self awareness. But there was never a baseline of not having PTSD to heal back too.

In other words, hypervigilance around toxic masculinity is wired deep into my amygdala, and that's very difficult to change in a society that doesn't have adequate tools or resources to help even typical PTSD. Maybe when MDMA treatment becomes available and affordable. I don't really know the outcomes with it for child abuse.

Anyway, bringing it up out of context when someone mentions having a good relationship with their (in my case) father, isn't a trauma response. It would be petty jealousy. And while I have plenty of jealousy of NT people, I agree that bringing up jealousy when other people are having a good time, especially in such a petty unhealthy way, is a dick move.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

I don't see what you're saying as being on that page at all (admittedly I did not read the section about victimization in Kazakhstan)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

I might be misremembering here since it’s been a while since I’ve seen this image make the rounds, but I thought the original artist made this specifically about online interactions (which, now that I’m rereading the image itself, isn’t immediately clear).