Food Crimes - Offenses against nutrition

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Welcome to Food Crimes! This community is here to collect all and any post about cursed food and generally unusual consumables.

Right now, here’s the rules:

Posts must include an image or video containing food or drink.
It must be unusual or cursed in some way. a. For example, something like Doritos Milk would be unusual, but normal milk would not.
No AI posts whatsoever, and any images that were altered (Ex: Photoshop, Gimp) need to be tagged.

How to tag: To tag your posts, please prepend or append the tag name inside square brackets. For example,[OC] Foo bar baz or foo bar baz [Meta] would be acceptable. Multiple tags will require separate pairs of brackets, like so: [Edited][OC] foo bar baz

Here are the current tags:

Edited - The image was manipulated with editing software.
OC - You made this cursed food yourself!
Meta - Relating to the community itself.

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(BTW, I’m looking for someone to help mod here! I myself would not be enough if this community goes beyond a few posts a day.)

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Probably the worst thing I ever tried. (cosdobrego.eu)

submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I almost puked while preparing this from the smell alone. Went to the trash after two bites.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (5 children)

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My cousin loves this shit and idk how. It’s so fucking gross.

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Oh my fucking God…they are like shitty Cheeto soup

If you make it as-is then yeah, I'm sure it's pretty mediocre, but similar to ramen, if you use some simple food hacks, then this stuff is friggin' delicious. Here's some tips:

First of all if it's soupy, then you've added WAY too much water. It's not supposed to be like that.
Second, it's generally a bad idea to microwave or pour boiling water in to mixes like this because: 1) the stuff usually doesn't cook very well, and 2) whatever's in the container will usually leech in to the food. This probably isn't too bad for this Cheeto's stuff (cup is made with cardboard and maybe plastic / wax coating), but is dreadful for the instant ramen mixes, which usually use styrofoam.
So, it's best to start with some veggies in a pot before adding the ingredients. Stuff like onions, thinly-sliced cabbage, maybe a tomato make a huge difference. Since you're already likely a spice-head if you're trying this out, add some extra red pepper flakes and maybe some curry powder, too. After that all cooks for a while, THEN add the noodles. Could throw an egg in there, too.
Cook until noodles are soft, drain any excess water if necessary, then stir in the flavoring and some extra grated parm or similar.
What you get is a deliciously spicy alt to mac & cheese which features thinner, tastier noodles and all kind of extra flavors. Perfect cold weather snack IMO.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (2 children)

If you're going to go through all of that for Cheetos Mac n cheese you're far better off just cooking actual food.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Not true.
As with loaded ramen, it takes very little effort to make this kind of meal.

Yeah, it might seem complicated for a first-timer, but if you simply experiment a couple times, you'll hit on a personalised, tasty hot snack that you can pretty much make in your sleep.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Making a real meal doesn't take much effort also. Your talking about preparing boxed mac and cheese as if it's real cooking.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

That's meaningless without an example, and just dodges the point of what I'm saying.

A "real meal" could be almost anything. Last night for example I was in the mood for french fries. So I spiralised a large potato, soaked it in two cold water baths (IYKYK), pressed, drained, brushed with oil, then spent about three 10min intervals air-frying and carefully turning & separating, repeat. Finally seasoning them and enjoying them.

Guess how much more effort that took than doing the loaded mac & cheese?