this post was submitted on 21 May 2024
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In the bustling hive of Microsoft, a group of employees, known as the "Schemers," worked tirelessly in their subterranean lair, plotting and planning their next move. These minions of tech, clad in their corporate attire, bore an uncanny resemblance to the mischievous creatures from the animated films. Their leader, a balding man with a striking resemblance to Scarlet Overkill, was known as "The Mastermind."
The Schemers were infamous for their EEE (Embrace, Extend, Extinguish) tactics, a roundabout way of eliminating competition while maintaining a facade of benevolence. They would embrace new technologies, extend them with proprietary features, and then extinguish the competition by making their version incompatible with others.
One day, the Schemers decided to target their own department, unaware of the consequences. They code-named their project "Operation Self-Destruct." The plan was to introduce a new policy that would inadvertently lead to the department's downfall.
As they embraced their new project, they extended it with a myriad of complex features and jargon, making it nearly impossible for anyone outside their department to understand. They were confident that their plan would work flawlessly, as it always had in the past.
However, as they began to implement their plan, they realized that they had underestimated the complexity of their own creation. The policy was so convoluted that even they couldn't navigate it. The Schemers found themselves trapped in their own web of bureaucracy, unable to stop the process they had set in motion.
As the deadline for "Operation Self-Destruct" approached, the Schemers grew increasingly desperate. They tried to reverse the process, but it was too late. Their department was shut down, a victim of their own EEE tactics.
In the end, the Schemers learned a valuable lesson about the dangers of their own tactics. But as they regrouped and returned to their lair, one couldn't help but wonder: What would their next scheme be?
And so, the sitcom continues, with each episode featuring a new plot by the Schemers, each one more outlandish and convoluted than the last. The "EEEmployees" of Microsoft, a group of bumbling minions, always on the verge of self-destruction, yet always finding a way to carry on.