Transcription:
How To Confound A Centaur
Centaur: Hold it right there, you can't just ride through my fields uncontested! I'll lose my credibility if we don't battle or something.
Me: That's fair. How about we–
Centaur: And it can't be a pun battle, I heard what you did to the sphinx.
Me: Darn. Okay, what if I beat you in a horse race?
Centaur: Ha! Alright, your funeral. Where's the finish line?
Me: That tree over there. Where's your horse?
Centaur: (gestures at horsey backside) Um...?
Me: You're not a horse, this is a HORSE race. You have to race with an actual horse.
Centaur: You want me... a centaur... to RIDE a regular horse.
Me: That is, linguistically-speaking, what you agreed to.
Centaur: ...
Me: ...
Centaur: I hate you.
Me: That's fair.
----
Sphinx: You there, knight. I am the guardian of this place and cannot allow you to pass without a battle.
Me: My name is Ender, Sir Ender to you. And I'm a bit weary from my long journey here, would you accept a pun battle?
Sphinx: Aye, Sir Ender.
Me: Thank you, please move aside
Is the Sphinx Scottish?
To make the setup work, aye