this post was submitted on 05 May 2024
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So, I'm just assuming we've all seen the discussions about the bear.
Personally I feel that this is an opportunity for everyone to stop and think a little about it. The knee-jerk reaction from many men seems to be something along the lines of "You would choose a dangerous animal over me? That makes me feel bad about myself." which results in endless comments of the "Akchully... according to Bayes theorem you are much more likely to..." kind.
It should be clear by now that it doesn't lead to good places.
Maybe, and I'm open to being wrong, but maybe the real message is women saying: "We are scared of unknown men."
Then, if that is the message intended, what do we do next? Maybe the best thing is just to listen. To ask questions. What have you experienced to make you feel that way?
I firmly believe that the empathy we give lays a foundation for other people being willing to have empathy for the things we try to communicate.
It doesn't mean we should feel bad about ourselves, but just to recognize that someone is trying to say something, and it's not a technical discussion about bears.
What do you think?

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

A bear wouldn't possibly beat or torture me or rape me. A bear wouldn't try to kidnap me and lock me in its basement as its personal sex slave. A man might. A bear would simply try to eat me or run away, it's predictable. But go off about how it's totally safe to run into a strange man in the woods as a woman. 🙄

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

As a guy, I don't know shit about women, but bears are absolutely famous for being unpredictable. That's why they're considered dangerous. Not like moose, which are dangerous for being gigantic and incredibly dumb.

[–] otp 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Bears also love in the woods, so it's pretty normal for bears to be there. There's a decent chance it's just minding its business. I wouldn't want to be around a bear, but I also wouldn't want to be around a man with bad intentions.

Humans are also absolutely famous for being unpredictable, fwiw

[–] [email protected] -1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Like just rearrange your sentence... men also live on planet Earth so it's pretty normal for men to be there there's a decent chance it's just minding it's business I wouldn't want to be around a man but I also wouldn't want to be around a man with bad intentions do you see how shitty that sounds when you say you don't want to be around all men? Because of men with bad intentions? All bears will eat you not all men will rape you

[–] otp -1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

men also live on planet Earth

This means nothing. We're talking about wild animals in their natural habitat. Most animals in their natural habitat want to be left alone. Humans are not natural prey or threats to bears, so they generally wouldn't want to fight or hunt a human.

don't want to be around all men? Because of men with bad intentions?

I think that's something that needs to be taken up with men (because it's impossible to pick out just the ones with bad intentions).

That's part of the problem.

The other part of the problem is the fact that being alone in the woods and spotting a bear minding its business sounds like a normal event. Being alone in the woods and spotting a strange man sounds like an abnormal event.

Bears don't really hunt humans. Some men do hunt women. And there's enough of them (and it could be any man) that a lot of women are afraid of strange men.

Take it up with the men.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Another part of the problem is seeing a man in the woods and Assuming he's a murderer instead of thinking oh maybe he's geocaching or maybe he's hunting or maybe he's collecting mushrooms or maybe he's a photographer or maybe he just likes being in the woods or maybe he's going fishing or maybe he has a family that he's providing for or maybe he's an artist like there are so many other things to think of a man in the woods then oh my God this man is going to rape murder and stalk me to death I'm going to die. The 'othering' of men is an actual danger to society.

Men aren't raised by bears.. maybe we should take it up with the women who are raising the men.

[–] otp 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

maybe we should take it up with the women who are raising the men.

Lmao, so you're just sexist, huh?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Sounds like everyone on this thread is.. men aren't inherently fucking dangerous just because you are scared of them

[–] otp -1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I think you need to work on your perspective-taking skills.

It seems like what's happening is that women on social media are sharing that they feel inherently unsafe around strange men in remote and unexpected places, and your reaction is "That hurts my feelings as a man, and those women are wrong!"...

If you're not dangerous, that's great. Your feelings for assuming you're being generalized are valid.

If a woman reacts to you, unprompted, with fear, I think it's important to understand the reasons why she might react that way, rather than be angry about her fear. Frankly, getting angry at someone's fear would most likely reinforce that fear. And I think understanding would help reduce the anger you feel.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It's very interesting to me that everybody thinks I'm a man.

[–] otp 1 points 4 months ago

You're right, my apologies for assuming.