this post was submitted on 04 May 2024
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[–] [email protected] 62 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Stick every time. Stick is a sword, a walking tool, a measure, a prybar. Rock is rock. You can throw it. You can hit stuff with it. That’s about it.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

Rock is good. You can cook with rock, support and balance things, keep it as a pet, paint faces on it, wedge things that need wedging, use it as a paperweight, possibly shatter it into many knifey bits or sell it to your kid cousin as a magic rock. I think you can also do a few things with ropes and rocks, but I can't remember any of those things. Yes, you can throw rock, but rock likes most to bounce on water when thrown.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Arrr, rock good, rock cook, rock support. Rock have face. Rock wedge. Rock paperweight magic rock, sell. Rock shatter. Rock is pet. Use rope on rock. Throw rock fun. Rock bounce water.


This comment was made by team stone age

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago

This is my favorite thing I've read this week

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

Heating pad. Counterweight on bear bag. Massage tool. Circle template. Door stop. Wheel chuck. Pothole filler. Sculpture source. GI Joe mountain. The list goes on.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

You can admire the rock. You can just hold the rock, meditate over its roundness. The rock can become your friend, your little secret, a comfort you can take anywhere. The rock is eternal. If you cradle it for a lifetime, you might contribute a miniscule amount to its perfect shape. Your life can have meaning.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

A lifetime of swashbuckling! WHOOSH. WHOOOOSH WOOOSH....

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Yea but if we ever get attacked by the scissor nation you'll be ready

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

But if the paper nation flanks us we’ll be at a stalemate. We have a conundrum.