cross-posted from: https://lemmit.online/post/2827544
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The original was posted on /r/coolguides by /u/THANKYOU_FI_COMM on 2024-05-03 13:34:01.
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It is very important to note that if you are seeing a new therapist or therapy is new to you, at least a few of these feelings are very common in the first few sessions (no chemistry, feeling disappointed or getting nowhere, trust). Even feelings of being judged or pushed to hard may come from initial feelings or not understanding what barriers or limitations you have that need to be addressed. Talk to them about those when they come up.
Some of these are obvious red flags to monitor and you should monitor all of these, but do not be discouraged if you are initially identifying with some of these; it takes time to settle in. Your therapist is first trying to get to know you, what you are going through, and understand how to help you. It's going to take multiple sessions depending on how much you need to get off your chest, but it should get better. If it doesn't, it's perfectly normal to switch to a different therapist.
I couldn’t agree more. You’re talking about deeply personal issues with a complete stranger - OF COURSE it’s gonna be kind of awkward at first! Give it some time.
Still, though, trust yourself. There’s nothing wrong with switching therapists. Even moderately good therapists understand that, and they don’t take it personally.
There's a pretty obvious mis-use of the term "red flag" in this post. "There just isn't chemistry" might be a valid reason to move to a different therapist, but it's not a "red flag" even if that remains true after a year with them. A red flag isn't an incompatibility in a relationship, it's a warning sign of danger, or at the very least of something that should be considered an objective failure that makes them worth not just avoiding yourself, but recommending others do the same.
Sorry, I didn't mean for that term to apply to the specific items I called out from the list. What I was trying to say was for other items on this list, like a romantic attraction coming from the therapist, those can be things should be taken seriously and have justification for immediate concern.
Sunny apologise, I was agreeing with and reinforcing your point, not disagreeing or correcting!