this post was submitted on 07 Apr 2024
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How do you work with the social life in college and not feel worth less than others? (lemmy.world)
submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
15 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Hey y'all,

I'm a 19 year old psychology student in college (with the goal of becoming a therapist) and have been diagnosed last summer with autism (low support needs).

I think the fact that so many of my peers go to parties, drink and have fun, while it is too overstimulating for me, feels really bad. I can't go to a party without earplugs, beer tastes awful to me (and coffee as well - way too intense for my taste), as soon as there's blood in a movie I feel unconformable, and it just feels that everyone is able to do thing easily which for me are a real struggle.

I'm in a relationship, and my gf seems to be able to do all these things easier than me. Asides from the fact that she also has better grades than me, I just feel resentment and sadness that people around me seem to better than me in so many aspects. Of course we should focus on our strengths, and that we shouldn't compare ourselves to others. But in the end I still feel resentment that people around me are just able to do so many more things than me, and that things considered normal in our society are a struggle, if not outright impossible, for autistic people.

So I'd love some input on how y'all cope with the reality of not being able to participate in social life to the same extent as other people.

Thanks!

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[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Grades in college don't matter as much as think unless your literally suda cum laud or however it's spelled. There's an old joke I used to hear in college, what do you call a doctor that graduated at the bottom of their class? Doctor. As far as the social thing goes, going to parties and shit every weekend isn't for everyone, just slow your roll, see what you have fun and enjoy doing, your only 19, I wouldn't even consider you an adult with a fully developed grasp of the world yet. The funny thing about college, most of your peers are in the same boat as you, they just won't admit it.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Thank you! Well, sadly to become a practicing psychologist here you need to do a masters degree, and there is a high competition for those. The system is pretty bad - but yeah, grades matter; if you aren't good enough, you don't get into the masters degree.

And it is an interesting thought - I'll keep it mind that a lot of people feel like me. We of course struggle with different things, but the general question of "how to adult" and "how to do life" and "how to happy" is probably something I'm not the only one struggling with. So thank you, that helps me in getting some perspective :)