this post was submitted on 07 Apr 2024
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How do you work with the social life in college and not feel worth less than others? (lemmy.world)
submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
15 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Hey y'all,

I'm a 19 year old psychology student in college (with the goal of becoming a therapist) and have been diagnosed last summer with autism (low support needs).

I think the fact that so many of my peers go to parties, drink and have fun, while it is too overstimulating for me, feels really bad. I can't go to a party without earplugs, beer tastes awful to me (and coffee as well - way too intense for my taste), as soon as there's blood in a movie I feel unconformable, and it just feels that everyone is able to do thing easily which for me are a real struggle.

I'm in a relationship, and my gf seems to be able to do all these things easier than me. Asides from the fact that she also has better grades than me, I just feel resentment and sadness that people around me seem to better than me in so many aspects. Of course we should focus on our strengths, and that we shouldn't compare ourselves to others. But in the end I still feel resentment that people around me are just able to do so many more things than me, and that things considered normal in our society are a struggle, if not outright impossible, for autistic people.

So I'd love some input on how y'all cope with the reality of not being able to participate in social life to the same extent as other people.

Thanks!

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

You need to talk to a therapist about this. It's a long road to overcome the inferior complex you're describing. One witty answer from us isn't gonna solve it. You're gonna need repeated reminders that you're worth just as much as anyone else and your strengths and weaknesses are just as valid as anyone else's.

Also, you're at college so this might be free. I went to a lot of therapy in college.

As for sympathizing, I understand and agree with your aversion to certain shows. Blood and guts make me a little uncomfortable. (I tried to watch Invincible. Nope.) Sitcom embarrassment is actually harder for me to watch that gore. Strange when you think about it. I wear earplugs to shows and movies and anything loud. (I wish I would have had them 20 years ago.)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Well, I actually already am in therapy for almost a year :) Luckily my insurance covers it, so I will continue it for some time. I am working through it, but - as is kinda typical for therapy - I uncover new problems after solving the old ones.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Good!

And, yes, trauma stacks. It's like an onion, it has layers.