I've long had problems with random, unfounded bouts of anxiety. I've been taking Strattera and it has partially helped with this: when it works (which is 80% of the time), I can feel it keeping me in a mellow headspace at moments when I would have previously had racing thoughts and mental tunnel vision. Specifically, the source of the anxiety is still there, because I can feel it spark into action and put adrenaline into my blood, but the Strattera seems to be blocking it from affecting my mind in any way. While this is a significant improvement, it's still not perfect because the adrenaline in my blood still tires my body out quite quickly.
Recently I went a whole day on 2 hours of sleep, and I realized the sleep deprivation stopped my anxiety more optimally than the Strattera. My brain was too sleep deprived for the unfounded anxiety/fight or flight to even be initiated, which meant there was no adrenaline to block from affecting my mind in the first place. What's more, my mind was just generally more chilled out and slowed down (no hyperactivity or hyperfocus or anything), kinda a bit like if I was stoned, and I felt far less inhibition to spontaneously blurt out thoughts that appeared in my head without thinking about them, which I actually quite enjoyed because it meant I was being my peak authentic self.
Whilst the Strattera helped stop the immediate effects of my anxiety, the sleep deprivation got me into the actual overall target state that I want to be in. Now I obviously can't go about being sleep deprived every day from now on. Does somebody understand the chemistry of what Strattera does vs. what the sleep deprivation does? Is there any medication that could create the same desirable effects as the sleep deprivation?
Do not fuck around with sleep deprivation. I developed severe insomnia to the point where at my worst I was averaging about 90 minutes of light sleep per day. After a few weeks of this I basically lost my mind. I could not function, I became paranoid, suicidal, violent, and a whole long list of scary bullshit. Worst of all, it all seemed perfectly normal to me. I was convinced I was in the right even though, in hindsight, I was batshit crazy.
Sleep.
That sounds horrible. I won't.