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An old, ugly bike and a good bike lock. No one will ever steal it and can bring you wherever you want without the fear of leaving it in the wrong spot
Isn't that the point of the good bike lock? To prevent stealing even a good, new bike?
If it's a good bike, then someone might put in the effort to steal it. If it's crap, they are more likely to steal the lock.
This invokes an image of someone going through the trouble of cutting your bike and the bike rack in half just to steal the lock, which I find very amusing.
then getting it rekeyed lol