this post was submitted on 21 Mar 2024
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One of the reasons it is so hard is that right now is an extremely difficult time for people, so I think meeting people is even more difficult. If you are stressed out about making rent every month, guess what socialization and finding a partner becomes a distant priority vs just surviving.
I promise you though there are plenty of women out there who find social awkward people into niche hobbies sexy, especially if you are a genuinely nice person (which, beyond a superficial impression, is pretty much always the truly sexy thing about a person).
The problem is that those women are sitting at home exhausted and sad from modern life the same way you are, and it is hard to meet people outside the context of a bar.
If you are a nice person you are sexy and enough the way you are, what needs to change is the brutal grind of modern life, not you.
I mean just from a basic freetime calculation… women didn’t use to be able to work, which is fucked up, but it is also fucked up how much everybody's lives are swallowed up by work at least in the US, and if you compare the difficulty of finding a women to hit it off with vs when women weren’t working as much…. I mean you have to cut yourself slack. The women of your dreams probably isn’t at the bar or wherever public meeting space you are, or actively on the dating app because they are stressed out and working all the time just like you :(
I usually suggest finding a social way to exercise a hobby or passion. If someone gets involved in a group or activity that puts them out there to meet people. And hopefully, if it is something they enjoy they won't feel like it is extra work or stress. Doesn't work for everyone but it does work.
So talk to people on the bus?
Please don't approach randos on the bus. It won't end well.