this post was submitted on 21 Mar 2024
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This comment section: "Actually I'm pretty sure the bike fell over for reasons unrelated to the stick"

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I hate to use the phrase, but it’s right there. Are you saying that “not all feminists” are like that?

[–] funkless_eck 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

No.

I'd much rather actually discuss the points raised. I was interested to discuss whether the person I was replying to (might be you - can't tell on mobile) thought that what they said reflected all feminist thought, and whether that was current, new, or had always been there since Wollstonecraft etc

Do you really want to go into the difference between the "notallmen" epithet and the concept that because someone accuses a group of something does not mean that they are guilty of it nor does it mean that group is a monolith? The conversation seems fairly straightforward and doesn't really need elaborating on. But I guess if you genuinely did have questions about the difference between "notallmen" and "accusing a group of something they didn't do" I'd be willing to attempt to answer reasonable questions on the topic.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

No, I am not the person you responded to, I just thought it was funny because all I could think of reading your comment was how many parallels it had to the “not all men” saying.

But to be more serious, I don’t think you can point to any individual saying men can’t discuss these topics, but there is a sentiment that has been felt for a long while. Listen to Bo Burnham’s Inside and he jokes about being a white guy trying to be supportive but not really being sure how without coming off as a “white savior.” A couple decades ago Ben Folds expressed frustration at not feeling allowed to express his personal problems to some degree in Rockin the Suburbs, and while that was more aimed at complaining from a place of privilege I think it captures a similar feeling the person you responded to expressed.

I think it’s difficult for a lot of men, especially younger ones, to express that kind of feeling without being (or feeling like they are being) rejected for having those feelings because they are the ones with the privilege. Or they may bottle up those feelings in an unhealthy manner out of guilt for potentially distracting from those with bigger issues. And those can open the door to them rejecting feminism in general so that they can express those feelings. People like Andrew Tate are able to take advantage of that.

[–] funkless_eck 1 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I didn't say men can't discuss issues, (i wasnt even saying whether they should) I'm saying that for any sensible, reasonable definition of what "modern feminism" is (what does that even mean?), there is no correlation to "men can't discuss these things," and no prominent, published authors, scholars or journalists are saying such things - outside of tabloids, looking to score rage clicks.

In my experience it's the very opposite.