teachers

Obviously this is just the introduction of a bill. Hopefully it goes nowhere.

• Third Grader tells me to close my eyes and extend my hand so he could show me his favorite rock. I expected a sample sized mineral, but he gave me an amethyst as big as my two fists.

• Another Third Grader, seeing the picture of a telephone pole: this is the stick where they impaled Jesus???

• Kid 1: "Ask me to read out loud! I'm good at that!" Kid 2: "Shut up, you couldn't even copy my homework right".

• "I'm gonna take a picture of you two and show it to my doctor as the reason behind my madness".

• "Teacher! How long can you hold your breath?!" Proceeds to SHOVE fingers up my nose while counting.

• I put my hand too close to a kid's mouth and he licked me. He's 11.

• "I'm tired of thinking!" Bold of you to say that, while coming to class wearing the shirt inside out.

• "I failed the exam because I'm dyslexic!!!" It was an oral exam. Also she's not dyslexic.

• "Can I have a snack?" "Okay, if you are careful". Proceeds to take out a can of tuna with tomato sauce and a fork, to my eternal horror.

• Kid thought that the female of "bro" is "bra".

• A Third Grader began to cry and wail because he didn't want to read, so I started crying too, to see what happened. "No no no stop that, I will read BUT STOPP"

• When they complain about homework: me making the "I don't care" meme

• Reminding them of the "3 Universal Laws for a Chill Classroom"

  • I don't want to meet your parents
  • You don't want me to meet your parents
  • Your parents do not want to meet me

• Watch them copy each other completely wrong answers because I made different exam models and they haven't noticed.

• "I left my phone home" Then why do I get a "StudentName's IPhone" when I turn the Bluetooth of my phone on??

• Student fails exam, demands being allowed to take a different model to prove how her first one was extremely hard and the other students got easier questions. Fails again. (Questions were the same but in different order).

• "I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS ACTIVITY" Student hadn't bothered reading the question.

• "I don't want to work today" We are on the same boat, buddy.

• Student didn't do the assignment because grandma had died. Somehow, with the next assignment, said grandma was dead again, for a different reason.

• "You are weird" 8 months in and you just noticed????

• "You are so short, I'm way taller than you!" Yeah, so is everyone else, you are not special.

• (Around Christmas time) "Remember, kids, some of you are one email to your parents away from having a very sad Christmas.

• Me having to remind them that if they want to cheat, for the love of God, do it properly.

• Student submitted an essay written with two different pens, different handwriting and grammar well beyond their skills. " Did you write this?" "Yes" "Wanna try answering that again?"

• "Phone stays with me if you want to go to the toilet" "Why?" "Because I know what you do when you have it. Uploading photos only for your best friends is not a good idea when said friends are in my class".

• "What do you mean, we have to do the whole page???"

• "Stop biting that pencil. See the marks? You ain't the first one doing this"

• Student touching a gooey substance a previous kid had coughed up I beg you, tell me how did you get to the conclusion of that touching that was a good idea.

• Student asked me if I had a job.

• I had an hilarious meeting with two students that had copied each other's work, mistakes and all, and denied it. The parents were deeply embarrassed.

• Gave an F to a student. Parent came choleric, demanding explanations. His kid works super hard and I was trying to "sabotage his expedient". I showed him the exam, blank, with only the name of the student filled and the date, not even correct. Fastest meeting ever.

• "I DON'T OBEY WOMEN" Cool, have you informed your mum about this policy change of yours? If not, I'll do it for you! "NO NO NO DON'T TELL HER I SAID THAT I'M SORRY"

• Student got handed a broom to clean the class after littering "You are a monster" "Perhaps, but you behave like a pig and sweep like a wet noodle"

Some days are hard, and some students are a total nightmare, but the good ones make the job worth it (I probably say this because I have MANY good ones).

I'm just happy and wanted to share hahah

Hello! Part of why I opened this community, aside from the need to leave Reddit, is that I'm very curious about how being a teacher abroad looks like. My first question would be about the workload. Do you have dedicated time for desk work in your contract? What kind of obligations does it entail? If you have to do admin work, what do you have to do? How many hours of teaching would you have on a regular week? Let me know:)

undefined> Blåhaj Lemmy

I've never done this before. I hope teachers around the world will join and that we'll build this space together. It will be what you want it to be. Please comment this post if you have suggestions to move forward:)