a cool piece i read about the economics of the shire from lord of the rings that i mentioned on the blahaj matrix and was advised to post here

My whole life has been building up to this moment.. everyone has always told me not to look at the Sun during an eclipse.... teachers, parents, television, newspapers, the government........ and now that is exactly THE ONLY THING I want to fucking do today.. .....I just want to take a quick peek at the sun!! holy shit it is taking EVERY OUNCE of my willpower not to look at the sky right now. It's like a mighty itch.. but for my eyes.

I'm writing this post just so I can distract myself from the fact that there's a yearning sun, begging to be stared at right now just outside my window within eyeball reach. It is so close and I can hear it's siren song beckoning. God help me, and may it end swiftly.

I tell this story to you as it really happened. I still cannot process the events that conspired.

It was a chilly spring morning when Goobert first knocked on my door. Upon hearing a knock at my door, I quickly scrambled to hide my 100,000 terabytes of pirated Disney movies and Nintendo games.

A second knock on the door. A second passed. The door swung open.

"HELLO I AM GOOBERT" the mysterious visitor said.

Before me stood a creature that I had never seen the likes of before. It was half-rat, half-peanut, and completely decked out in pirate attire.

"Hi Goobert, can I get you a glass of sweet tea?" I asked.

"YES I WOULD LIKE A GLASS OF SWEET TEA. I ALSO HATE RONALD REAGAN," Goobert declared.

"Wow, I also hate Ronald Reagan, we must have much in common." I said, putting the kettle on the stove to boil.

Goobert sat down at the kitchen table.

"I must inquire, why are you in my house?" I asked.

"I AM A PIRATE AND AM SEARCHING FOR NEW PIRATED MEDIA, SPECIFICALLY PIRATED DISNEY AND NINTENDO MEDIA. I ALSO AM LOOKING FOR A PLACE TO BUY ILLEGALLY MANUFACTURED MOONSHINE." Goobert replied.

The kettle began to whistle.

TO BE CONTINUED

IS THIS HOW YOU DO A CROSS POST???!?!!

cross-posted from: https://ttrpg.network/post/5549174

The 1st-ever braille 5e SRD is now available, making the core D&D rules more accessible to all. Download for free!

His name is Sir Gilbert Humphrey Hubert II. He said he'd help me pirate Nintendo games and Disney movies. He also wanted me to give him a tour of my moonshine distillery in the mountains.

Can I trust him?

Well I sure hope he can lift that spatula alright

🏴‍☠️The Pirate Song 🏴‍☠️

Oh I like to be a pirate

A pirate's life for me

All my friends are pirates

And sail the B.B.C.

I've got a Jolly Roger

It's black and white and vast

So get out of your Skull and Crossbones

And I'll run it up your mast

With a yo-ho-ho

And a ya-ha-ha

And a ye-hee-ha-ha-hum

With a yo-ho-ho

And a ya-ha-ha

And a yum-yum-jum-jum-yum

I've got a Jolly Roger

It's black and white and vast

So get out of your Skull and Crossbones

I'll run it up your mast

I like to sound dramatic and tell people I'm on meth when I'm just on ADHD stimulants. They're not too many molecules apart 🤷🏼‍♂️

Watch the whole thing

Why must my relatives be like that

I'm scared to interact on Boost or lemmy or Mastodon or wherever the hell I am because I'm not good at socializing and I feel like my personality is just going to get me kicked off of this here new thing too ....and I have honest to goodness PTSD from trying to socialize. I don't know if I can do the cycle of socializing, kind of getting acquaintances or friends or people that don't mind talking to me, slowly fading out, and then not having friends again , or people just not talking to me anymore and it's really stressing me out and I don't want to get kicked out of anywhere anymore and all I want is some friends and a community and reliability and I'm nothing but a shit show that bothers everyone around me thank you for listening to my ramble the end

Change my mind

My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.

RoseTintedGlasses made this

This is real live footage of me right now. I am on life support for cowboy hat withdrawal syndrome.

Fun fact: decapod crustations (crab-looking things) evolved five separate times. Crab is peak form.

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