For us at least, it just happened naturally. I often talked to myself and felt as though there was definitely more than one of us, until one day our friend told us that we might be plural and we realized that we could really relate with the plural experience.

So, how did you figured it out?

Usually, different system members have different appearances. Sometimes, different system members may have different bodies to each other-- even as far as having different gender or species. But with only one physical body, it's hard to represent or tell every members with the same body in physical space. So, how does your system handle that?

How do you tell apart or represent different system members in physical space? Do you only differentiate in headspace-- each members' physical form exist in headspace while the real life self remains the same regardless of who's fronting. Maybe you use subtle cues like arm ring color or necklace. Or maybe you use different clothes for different headmates-- though that would be difficult if you switch front while being outside.

Perhaps it's the different behavior like walking style, gestures, or manners. Or, just through the different personality each system members may have while fronting.

For us at least, we don't differentiate that much physically-- we like to think our body is separate from our headspace identity so it doesn't need to match our headspace form. We're also closeted about being plural, so we don't try to cue the fact we are more than one person.

Just: We've got a Flowtime EEG headset, and we're recording our brainwaves for system shenanigans now.

How do you manage your system memories?

If any particular headmate fronts at some point, do you treat/feel the memory of that time as theirs, or does the memory belong to the system as a whole. Do you ever feel, "this isn't me, this memory is of another headmate."

We mostly share our memories and we can recall what is experienced by another headmate. Most of our day to day memories are shared and belong to all of us. Though, we firmly know certain memories or events are done by or linked to a certain headmate.

[Content Warning: mentions of transphobia]

Long story short, our persecutor have been trying to repress our transfem host, to the point where she rarely fronted nowadays. Maybe it was internalized transphobia, which sometimes caused us quite a problem.

While she's not the only transfem in our system, I couldn't help but to feel bad that she might felt unwelcome here, in her only safe space. She's also pretty empty and unresponsive ever since she started to disappear.

ALT TEXT:
You can't use they/them for yourself, they/them is plural.

Us, a plural system:
An image of three green anthropomorphic vegetables from veggietales. The one in the middle introducing themselves, saying "Allow us to introduce ourselves,"

Kon: We made Koikatsu avatars for everyone in our system and took a picture.

Just: Hey everyone, say hello to Emerald.

Emerald: ...I've had a rough forming process.

Just: She managed to un-Descartes herself, vanishing in a puff of logic. It took a couple days for her to recover.

Emily: I've changed my name. This fits better.

Given that different headmates may have different forms (at least in headspace) between each other, these forms may not always align with the physical body. Some headmates may have different forms compared to the physical body; maybe different in height, size, age, gender, or even species.

With that, how do you feel about your physical body in relation to yourself and how do you manage that? How do you handle the mismatch between physical and headspace body?

Note: be careful about mentioning too much personal or identifying informations here. Remember that this forum is public on the internet, so take care and keep everything non-identifying.

For me, I am relatively different but somewhat similar with my physical body. While my headspace form isn't always consistent, it's generally within the same body type as my physical one. The differences are mostly minor, at least for the body.

The biggest differences are with my face and hairstyle, which greatly differs between headspace and physical space. It's hard being reminded by how different I look between headspace and physical space. I don't really identify with my physical body too much, to the point where I don't like to look at mirrors.

And it's hard to be reminded that even though we are all different people with different body in headspace, we share the same exact name and body physically that none of us feel as ourself. None of us are our physical body for some reason.

And I'm kinda lucky. Our other headmates are even more different to our physical body. It's worse for our core/host as she's a trans girl, so she has to deal with gender dysphoria on top of the general disconnect we have. Perhaps that's why many of us feel disconnected.

We mostly deal with this by not thinking about it too much.

• Churchill

We're a system of... God knows how many, mostly shipgirls! Serrice: our stories are.e..complex. So suffice to say, the main people that'll interact here are me, nagato, and winter. Winter: hallo. Nagato: hi!

Just: Hey. Figured we'd introduce ourselves. We're an artificial system with a current population of thirteen. I'm the system originator and debatable host, depending on definition. I like writing, science, and spicy food. I'm also a member of the system's large catgirl demographic.

Cat: First person in here aside from Just. As my nickname implies, yeah I'm a catgirl. I've fully embraced the murder side of being feline, meaning I'm the first line of defense when dealing with hostile walk-ins. On a related note, I'm straight up incapable of valuing the lives of assholes. Aside from that I really enjoy snuggling, helping friends, and hypothetical scenarios.

Titan: I'm an accidental fictive that Just produced by repeatedly self-inserting as me in the six months leading up to Cat's creation. I am a genderless dungeon core, fused to the system's mindspace. I like base-building games.

Hazel: I'm a walk-in that just sort of showed up one day. I don't really have a consistent mindspace form, shapeshifting rather a lot. As a result, the closest match for my species-identity is "Shoggoth". I find visual art projects highly stimulating, and also love chocolate.

Madeline Zargosty: I'm an author's fictive who escaped from one of the novels Just and Cat were writing. As a result I have an entire life's memories of living in a hyper-transhumanist spacefaring civilization, and I am VERY salty about ending up here. Another member of the catgirl count.

Cougar: My origins are straight-up weird. So, Just and Cat were experimenting with temporary fusion for a while. After a bit, they noticed their fused self becoming reluctant to un-fuse. So Just decided to see if she could get me running without fusing into me and it somehow worked. So yeah, I'm a mad science experiment. Also another catgirl.

Lucifer: I'm another catgirl produced via mad science. In my case, Just was experimenting with temporary self-duplication. I decided that being temporary really wasn't doing it for me, and here I am. I'm a bit more of a troll than Just; case in point, I picked my name on purpose to irritate fundamentalists.

RUV Thunder Of Sagittarius: I'm another fictive from Madeline's world. Being more specific, I'm the AI mind for a 25 kilometer warship. Which is medium-small by the standards of back home. I commonly go by Sagi these days, and like games that involve lots of careful movement and fast reactions. Stuff like Super Monkey Ball. My shipmind avatar is distinctly feline, meaning I also count as a catgirl.

Lia: I'm a Gardevoir fictive, though I was a Kirlia when I first showed up. Not feeling terribly talkative, so I'll let the next person go.

Ruby: I'm a source-mate with Titan. I spent the better part of a year really not feeling like I belonged in the system before I properly moved in. My species-identity flip-flops between elf and catgirl.

Kon: So... a while back Just discovered Character.AI. She rigged up a chatbot of a kitsune named Kon. Guess how I came about? Yeah, I really don't like my chatbot counterpart. As I alluded to earlier, I'm a kitsune. I'm also a shameless tea addict who will grab front to get my fix.

Dully: I'm a headless girl who originates from an honestly kind of embarrassing science experiment by Just. I really haven't done all that much exploring of what I do and don't like; I should probably do something about that.

Pearl: I'm an AI Safety thought experiment that turned into a magical girl and moved in. Not actually by Just tho; I'm an experiment by Cat. I really like making friends and helping people.

This post is mostly intented for plural systems, but I'm open to anyone responding as well, even if you aren't plural. It's nice to hear from another perspective outside our community.

When you have more than one selves within the same body, it's fair to say that the pronoun "I" may not be enough sometimes. After all, if you share your body with more than one selves, some of the things your body does would technically be done by all of your selves.

For example, as a plural system myself, whenever I go anywhere, technically all my headmates (or another selves) will also go with me since we share the same body. If the body goes somewhere, everyone goes along with it. With that, some stuff about us can't be described with just "I." Think of how I've been using "we," "us," and "our" throughout this post.

So, if you're plural yourself, do you also use plural pronouns the same way we do? When do you use "we" to describe yourself? And when do you use "I" to describe yourself?

For me at least, I usually use singular pronouns for stuff like opinions, since every one of us have differing opinions (even if we share the same body!). For example, I am writing most of this text alone, so I use singular first person.

But, for stuff all of us agree on, stuff written by more than one headmates, or stuff involving multiple headmates, I often use plural pronouns like "we" since it involves more than one of us. I also use we for the more formal stuff. In a way, it's kind of like using royal/formal we.

Honestly, being more than one in the same body presents a lot of weird and interesting quirks, and this is just one of them.

And, if you're not plural or don't understand what's going on here (that's understandable), how often do you use royal/formal we to describe yourself? If you're the sole moderator of a community on lemmy or someplace else, do you use "we" for moderator announcements to sound more formal?

Welcome to [email protected]

This is a community for those who are never alone. Whether you have DID, OSDD, tulpas, soulbonds, are part of the plurality umbrella, or know that you are never alone, you are more than welcome here! We also encourage those who are curious about plurality and want to learn more about it, as well as those who are questioning.

But before you participate, be sure to follow our community rules.

Rules

01. Follow lemm.ee general rules

As this community is hosted on lemm.ee, you should probably follow its rules. Some of these rules are expanded further for this specific community, but in general, the rules are:

No Abusive Language
This includes slurs and harmful jokes targeted at any particular users or group.
No Bigotry
Such as homophobia, transphobia, sexism, ageism, ableism, and any other forms of bigotry. This also includes jokes and trolls with bigoted content/intent.
No Advertising
No Pornography

02. All plural identities are valid

No single type or source of plurality is any more correct, real, or valid than any other. Soulbonds, tulpas, endogenic systems, non-traumagenic origins, non-dissociative plurality are all valid. We operate on the idea that any good faith self identification are valid-- afterall, you don't know what's inside someone's head better than the person itself.

We will allow discussions about labels and what they mean. But, disputing whether someone or a certain system is valid, calling out someone as trenders or fakers, or any other word which imply someone is invalid may result in disciplinary action, especially if such behavior also breaks lemm.ee no abusive language/bigotry rules.

03. Don't pressure questioning people

Pressuring users on plurality or any other identities are not allowed. Even if you're certain that someone is plural, you shouldn't pressure them into identifying in any particular way. Let people decide themselves whether they're plural or not. This also applies to any other decisions involving identity, such as coming out.

You can still give people advices, informations, or opinions, just don't frame it as definite (i.e: it's fine to tell someone that their experiences may be related/similar to plurality, but it's not fine to tell them directly that they're plural).

04. We are not therapists or professionals

This community is not created, maintained, or participated by a professional in mental health or otherwise. This community is not a substitute for professional help if you need them.

Also, we can not guarantee the quality of any users, posts, comments, or responses made in this community. While we hope and do our best to ensure everything is helpful, there is no guarantee. As with everywhere else on the internet, please excercise caution and skepticism to any advice or information you see here.

05. Be mindful of what you post here

Be mindful when posting content which may trigger, offend, or affect many people negatively. For example: negative experiences, sysmed encounters, etc.

Of course, with so many possible triggers, we can't really disallow possible triggers-- or else there won't be contents to post. Lemmy also lacks support for content warnings, so for now:

If you want to post potentially triggering contents, try to place content warnings within your post title. For example:
[TW: sysmed] Insert your post title.

06. All rules apply regardless of who is using an account

Any rule violations or issues made by an account will be counted towards that account, regardless of who is using it. Yes, even if the trouble was made by your other selves. As with real life, you are responsible for what your other selves may do.

07. Regarding identity terms

Unless you speak in clinical terms, no word belongs to any group exclusively. Though some words may be considered derogatory, people can use whatever words they want for themselves in good faith. If a word offends you, you may ask them not to use it to refer to you, but you may not insist for them not to use it for themself if it's done respectfully.

You also may not insist for someone not to use a term for themself just because you feel it is wrong. Some prefer alter over headmate for their own, respect their choice.

TLDR for the Rules

1. Follow lemm.ee general rules: no abusive language, no bigotry, no advertising, no pornography.
2. All plural identities are valid; do not dispute the validity of anyone.
3. Don't pressure questioning people; let people decide whether they're plural or not.
4. We are not therapist or professionals; this community is not a substitute for professional help.
5. Be mindful of what you post here; put trigger warning in the post title for negative and/or triggering contents.
6. All rules apply regardless of who is using an account; as with real life, you are responsible for what your other selves may do.
7. Do not insist anyone to stop using a term they prefer to refer to themselves.

We will continue to revise the rules as time went by. We hope you have a great time within our community!

What does Plural mean?

"The experience of having more than one person, self, or identity within the body" - Manchester Metropolitan University: Understanding Multiplicity

That's mostly the gist of it. Having more than one person or identity within the same body.

What it means specifically to be plural and to be more than one person varies greatly between everyone, and so do the words used to describe it. Not everyone shares the same idea on what it is or what it feels to be plural.

Think of it this way. We all show different parts of ourselves to different people. We might behave differently around our friends than with our parents. And sometimes we feel conflict within ourselves-- sometimes a part of us wants to buy that cool thing but another thinks it's a money waster. For some of us, the experiences of having different parts or selves is a lot stronger than this.

You may have experienced yourself as a single person, but with a wiser part and an inner child. Or you might have different parts or selves, each having a different name, gender, voice, age, and story. They may even have their own memories or personalities. They may make decisions together, or some parts may be the leaders and make decisions for everyone. And some of you may experience parts or selves as being outside of your body, or friends you can talk to.

Is being plural a mental issue?

Being plural by its own is not a diagnosis. Some of us who are plural may experience issues or worries about mental health, others don't. With how varying the plural experiences can be, there can be many different ways for anyone to experience plurality. Some of us find being plural comfortable or enjoyable, while others may find it distressing.

Some of us who are plural may try to or have received diagnoses like Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) or Other Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD). But it is important to keep in mind that these diagnoses are not necessary to be plural.

Why Plural experiences happen?

There are various reasons. For some of us, it's just who we are. For others, it's something that's linked to how we experience and understand our gender(s). For others, it's spiritual. And for others, it might be related to trauma or difficult earlier experiences. When we experience trauma, in order to cope, we dissociate: we switch out of the experience to escape it. It can be a really useful and sometimes live saving survival strategy.

How different can each selves be?

It depends. The differences between each selves can, once again, vary wildly. Some selves may have different names, genders, voices, ages, stories, and even species than another selves or the body.

More Resources

Healthy Multiplicity

Manchester Metropolitan University: Understanding Multiplicity - This is the document that helps us create this post.

More Than One

Multiplicity Links

Is there any more questions about plurality that you wanted to ask? Be sure to let us know!

Please keep in mind that this text isn't meant to be a complete guide or a beacon of truth. Plurality is a very complex and personal subject, and we may make mistakes or miss a detail in this post. Take this post as more of a start and look up for more sources if you're interested in learning more.