Are we missing the part where he stole her baby
this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2023
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"Try to get her back, bitch. CARE BEAR BLAST!!!" -Jesus
That was Jesus' baby all along. If you don't believe me we'll have to cut it in half to see who the real mother is. Jesus, the son of God, or this random sinner, a woman.
Personally my money is on the literal son of God being the mother.
🌈🌈 Catholicism🌈🌈
Jesus: the original mpreg fanfiction
I dunno - in most religious art a baby in a holy context is Jesus.
Maybe he's holding his younger self in some sort of time traveler paradox? And using the power of France to protect his younger self from women as an archetype?
Like "No, stay away from this baby me, all womens. By the power of baguettes I compel thee."
If France is going to use America/Jesus’s colors they could at least pay royalties
They pay in statues of liberty
I feel like they are behind on their payments.
Well I think we're due for another installment then!
This is an exceptionally reasonable take.
It’s this sacre bleu ?
Blanc et rouge
🚫🤢fr*nch🤮🚫
"Never been a sinner, I've never sinned, I've got a friend in Jesus So you know that when I die, He's gonna set me up with the spirit in the sky"
"Je n'ai jamais été pécheur, je n'ai jamais péché, j'ai un ami en Jésus. Alors tu sais que quand je mourrai, il m'installera avec l'esprit dans le ciel"
.
.
.
attendez un moment
Cruel and UNUSUAL
The colours are the wrong way around. I'm sure everyone noticed but my point is I think it's almost never represented the wrong way around in France.
They're the right way from Jesus's perspective I guess.
"From a certain point of view"
This French origin story is better than the real one
French Jesus strikes again
Let them eat bagels
She's welcome! Jesus can go fuck himself. We banned him during the revolution already.
There is an expression that I read about that is a German expression that means when life is easy and good.
The book said translated it roughly means "Like God in France" because zee Germans think The French having access to France is preposterously a sign of the Germans not being loved and the God of the French was much nicer and softer just look that them: they get to live in France!
it is from the book They Thought They Were Free: The Germans 1933-45 . If i get a wild hare I'll track down the page.
Imagine being a Fr*nch person 🤮
Je pense que j'ai merdé
Hon hon hon tabernac je suis français!
Pray the french away!