(for now, i’m probably a lesbian but I’m currently talking about male love interests, so maybe it’d be best to say here)
i’m getting over a breakup with a guy who didn’t even care about me, include me in anything, nor tell anyone about me (he would also tell guys he was single, as i found out later).
i think he turned out to be gay and ghosted me because of it, but it’s still bad to not just tell me that, along with the other stuff.
there is this other guy (let’s say ethan because i barely remember his real name anyway) who i blocked because he kept harassing me. at first, i was happy to start being his online friend (i had many which both my bf and gf also have and were ok with this) and thought he was being flirty/calling me pretty to be silly.
i told him several times i wasn’t interested, and if he kept asking if i would be his gf, flirting, and calling me hot/pretty/etc. i would block him.
now, if my partners (bf [now ex] & gf) knew about the person i was dating, they would let me be open, so i was considering introducing him to them to make him happy.
however, i told my bf (gf is hardly ever available) about ethan and even he found him weird, and i told him my bf said no. if he said no, i wouldn’t ask my gf due to it not being fair if one said yes and the other said no.
ethan persisted that i either break up or cheat, and i said no to both. he said he would treat me a lot better than they could, and for some reason, would completely ignore the fact that i liked girls and had a gf, only focusing on my bf. (acted like i was single when i told him i still had a gf but broke up with my bf)
he guilt tripped me and got upset at me for saying no, and when i unblocked him after a while to see how he was doing (if he found a girl, if he was doing better and would stop flirting, if he lost feelings, etc.)
now, he also had just gotten over a breakup (i know it’s a bad sign that he kept criticizing her after they broke up though and that i’m “so much better and kinder than her”), and he “doesn’t even miss her”?
they had dated for a few years, since he was age 16, but apparently he left after she started showing signs of schizophrenia?
our convo started out normal after i decided to catch up with him and i told him i was going through a breakup. he told me we should start going through a talking stage (“if you want to of course!”), because, like he said before “he could treat me so much better than anyone else”. i knew that “if i wanted to” was just him being nice, because he didn’t care about my consent either way, he would get mad and pressure me into “consenting” if I said no.
he also told me how he lost his virginity with his ex when they dated sometime at 16, so i’m scared if we decided to meet up, he would somehow pressure me into doing the deed with him.
i know these are all red flags, and my ex had higher standards/ethics (is that the word?) than this dude, but it’s honestly such a big step for me to go from not receiving any attention to receiving a lot of attention.
should i follow through with it and, when my girlfriend is available to talk (she’s going thru a lot) start talking to him? or am i just feeling bad because of my breakup? would it be worth it to trust ethan and give it a shot?