this post was submitted on 25 Jan 2025
806 points (98.9% liked)

The Onion

5254 readers
552 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
all 32 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 114 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 40 points 4 weeks ago

Yeah this literally happened, with some in Congress calling for her deportation….

[–] [email protected] 97 points 4 weeks ago (5 children)

Things like this happening in real life are why I think some conservatives are legitimately, sincerely, deeply stupid. And a little cruel.

https://www.npr.org/2023/08/08/1192663920/southern-baptist-convention-donald-trump-christianity

It was the result of having multiple pastors tell me, essentially, the same story about quoting the Sermon on the Mount, parenthetically, in their preaching — "turn the other cheek" — [and] to have someone come up after to say, "Where did you get those liberal talking points?" And what was alarming to me is that in most of these scenarios, when the pastor would say, "I'm literally quoting Jesus Christ," the response would not be, "I apologize." The response would be, "Yes, but that doesn't work anymore. That's weak." And when we get to the point where the teachings of Jesus himself are seen as subversive to us, then we're in a crisis.

I don't know what can be done about this. Humans are tribal and facts can't beat that.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

It is definitely telling that when conservatism has come at odds with Christianity, so many Christians have chosen to abandon Christianity instead of abandoning conservatism.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Depends on the flavour of conservativism. In some ways Christianity is pretty conservative (Like sexual abd gender dynamics: Women cannot be in ecclesial authority over men, sex is between a married man and a woman, remarriage isn't allowed, divorce is frowned upon) but can also be pretty socialist (You shouldn't be rich, give money to the poor, the Church should be collectively helping each other, literally forgive everyone and give all you have to the poor).

Although, the fact that nobody seems to be able to follow this perfectly illustrates the entire point on why Jesus had to die. I don't see how people don't realise this.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I don't mean to imply that Christianity is progressive. But how a person reacts when politics is at odds with their religious beliefs is illuminating. Do their political beliefs follow from sincerely held religious beliefs? Or do they contort their religion in service of their political beliefs? For much of the religious right, it's clearly the latter.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

There are no good parties in the USA for Christians to vote for

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

There's no good party for most people but that doesn't stop many of them from demanding better from their parties. The story, though, is about how Christians are demanding their religious leaders change rather than demand better from their politicians.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 weeks ago

To be fair, I don't think the people complaining are Episcopalians. That church has gone down the gutter, unfortunately.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 weeks ago

MAGA is about hurting people. That's all it's about.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 weeks ago

The cruelty is the point.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 weeks ago

"Yes, but that doesn't work anymore. That's weak."

I don't get what they expect the priest to do about that, since they're quoting the Bible.

Do they expect them to outright make up something about how everything is fire and brimstone?

[–] funkless_eck 3 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I mean they've always been subversive, and the upper echelons of organized religion have, largely, been hypocritical since the year dot.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 weeks ago

I think that's the whole point of Jesus coming and dying- Because He knew that men cannot be righteous in men. He became righteousness because we cannot.

It's the same pattern in the old testament - you see man committing real atrocities against man in there.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 4 weeks ago (3 children)

Republicans are offended by everything.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 weeks ago

Party of projection who loves to call everyone snowflakes.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

Republicans are offended by this comment

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 weeks ago

That's because they want everyone to live as they tell them to.

[–] starman2112 46 points 4 weeks ago

Obligatory "this isn't even satire" observation

That aside, of course Republicans were offended by an actual Christian. They hate the bible. Donald Trump Jr. literally said out loud with his mouth that following its teachings has "gotten us nothing."

But hey, he was only talking about that one woke verse, and obviously God doesn't want us taking everything Jesus said seriously!

[–] [email protected] 41 points 4 weeks ago

Why is this perfectly accurate headline in an Onion community?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

"Not a great speech! The guy HATES us, and I heard he's not making a lot of money. Should cut his hair... not clean-looking! I think he could be a liberal."

  • Trump on Jesus
[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

Meanwhile Trump wouldn’t put his hand on the Bible.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 weeks ago

according to the German Onion... he did and it caught fire

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 weeks ago

Is it considered satire if it is objectively accurate?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Someone at The Onion didn't get the memo

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 weeks ago

This is Reductress

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 weeks ago

Satire aside- it's weird watching someone pretending to be christian preaching at someone who is also pretending to be christian who gets offended that their fake christianity contradicts their own fake christianity

[–] index -4 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Everyone should feel offended by someone preaching bullshit.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

I mean you're technically not wrong, but BS this sermon was not.

...unless, of course, you're saying showing mercy to your fellow human beings is BS?