this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2024
454 points (97.5% liked)

Microblog Memes

6016 readers
3017 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

It’s a satire LinkedIn acct

top 34 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 32 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Bro made 6 cents per day over 5 years LMAO 🀣

The cheapskate's friends meanwhile:

[–] [email protected] 54 points 3 days ago (3 children)

How many people on LinkedIn absolutely loved that? lol

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 days ago

This guy's profile is the shining like in the depths of shit that is LinkedIn. Sometimes the comments are funnier than his posts. There are always people commenting like it's a serious post.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago

42,078 according to the screenshot

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

Who wouldn't? This is hilarious

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 days ago (1 children)

If I had a friend like this, unless they were useful or more interesting than average people, I'd stop inviting them out.

I'll just let that friendship die, that's fine.

This is worse than what my friends and I usually do. We either do completely separate bills, or we trade back and forth who is paying. Nobody quibbles about how much, or how much more this time might be compared to last time. You pay the bill, and next time, your bill gets paid for you.

I take note whenever I'm paying more than once in a row, and if it becomes a trend that I'm paying for everything, I stop inviting people out. I'm not going to invite you out somewhere just to have me pay for it 100% of the time. If I wanted to pay for someone to keep me company, I'd hire a hooker.

[–] the_post_of_tom_joad 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I know ~~it's~~ the post is just a joke, but yeah money sadly is serious biz and beef between friends if things don't feel fair. It sucks but i chalk it up to the hellscape we live in.

Everyone has their money tics. A long time pal gets pissed if i pull the "whisper the waiter" trick and pay the whole dinner bill for example. For my part, I feel weird about owing people, like they'll hate me if i cant pay my way.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Oh, I'm not joking.

I have very few, very loyal, very long-term friends. I like it that way. Knowing too many people gets to be problematic.

[–] the_post_of_tom_joad 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Er my bad i was referencin the post being a joke, not your reply being one. That was poorly phrased on my part

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago
[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Oh the friends know. They talk about it between themselves, just too polite to say it directly.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The friends know and are doing the opposite, Β£12.38, becomes Β£12.83 etc

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

No, no, Β£12.38 becomes the Β£22.91.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

That cheap bastard. Make him pay you back in cash!

[–] [email protected] 32 points 3 days ago (1 children)

He’s a shoe-in for CFO.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 days ago (1 children)

What’s 2+2?

Engineer: 4e0

Mathematician: grabs chalk and begins a proof

Accountant: what do you want it to be?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

the accountant will tell you "2" and then keep 2 in crypto

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 days ago (2 children)

God damn it Jimmy. I knew it was 1216, one after Magna Carta.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

Is there something like r/okbuddychicanery on Lemmy?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

Electricity buzzing noises INTENSIFIES

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Back in my college years, my cheapest friend would always conveniently "forget his wallet" when we were all going out to dinner, a fact he wouldn't reveal until after the bill arrived.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I had a roommate that took advantage of me like that for 2 years. In the end I kept his security deposit because he cost me so much money

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

He would do it when we were out in groups, so he could spread it around. Thankfully he stopped being like that when he got older and a little more established.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

That's a Seinfeld episode.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago

Oh sure, they might not bother raising a big stink about that but I bet you at least some of them will remember. Until one day, when he’s at the end of his rope and in need of a friend, then they’ll leave him hanging.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Try that with a business and see how far you get.

spoiler alertIt isn't very far

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago

I tend to transfer a penny or two extra when I'm annoyed with the business, just to fuck with their balance sheets.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You don't do it to a business.

You only do it to your friends. Obviously.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

I don't think I'd even notice if a friend did that to me πŸ˜…

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

I love that guy.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago