Ask Me Anything
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This is the lemmy.ca AmA.
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It's interesting to notice how potent the stigma is around the topic. Like, I feel that I should be creating an alt account just to ask a question on here to avoid association with the topic...
A few things come to mind:
Is this something that you experience urges around? If so, what outlet do you provide them? Are there certain mediums like written stories or hentai that you find acceptable?
I notice that for all the disgust expressed around pedophilia, there is also rather rampant sexualization of children and teens. Not just in hentai but in, say, beauty pageants — and now, apparently, via AI imagery — occurring across many nations/cultures. Curious what you make of this.
What is the endgame of pedophilia? Like, even if it were permissible, what would you be seeking? How do you reconcile with the reality that a kid will age out of the zone to which you are attracted? I guess: is it something that is more about the fantasy? Is there a sexual component, or is it a sort of a Michael Jackson thing, where you prefer their company?
Finally, just want to mention that there are often low fee options for therapy. They might be with a pre-licensed person, but the quality of treatment is dependent on the match with the therapist anyhow. No idea how you'd find someone willing to work with you but, given you don't report having acted on any urges, your information remains confidential and you can shop around until you find someone who is willing to do so.
I don't really experience urges nowadays - at first, it does get into this territory, but urges require at least considering intent, which I don't have as of now. Generally, it might be more useful to think of it in the framework of "normal" attraction - we don't get attracted to every child, and we go through the same set of experiences one has for people their age when they fall in love or lust after the other. And same as with "normal" attraction, we can keep that to ourselves. As per outlets - for me it's mostly just imagination, but I see no issue with fictional materials - they just don't work well for me personally.
My attitude to beauty pageants including children is very strongly negative. Not even due to potential for sexualization of children (which can, however, be the case in some instances), but rather because those are incredibly harmful in themselves, being psychologically (hard work, burden of expectations) and physically (unhealthy diets, tons of makeup at early age with sensitive skin, and a ton of terrible practices) taxing for a child. Sending a child to those is ripping out their childhood and forcing them through things in life they're not ready for.
I don't fully grasp the "endgame of pedophilia" concept, but if you mean "what will you do if society will accept you no matter what you do", then the endgame is to be able to be treated like non-pedophilic individuals, being, well, socially accepted. We do not want the society to allow people to abuse children, and even if it were legal and acceptable, we would not do this, because the reason is not laws or societal attitudes, but actual harm. If any of such restrictions would be lifted, we'd be the first to raise awareness of such madness. We'd feel safer, though, hanging out around kids, being amazing parents, teachers, and friends. We love children in all ways, and it warms our hearts helping them explore our amazing world, navigating the issues they might have, caring about them, and just spending time around.
Unfortunately, confidentiality is breached more often than we'd like, for no apparent reason. There are many instances of pedophiles being outed by therapists, as well as anecdotal cases of therapists reporting to the police who were like "uhm, yes, so what?". So, it is more dangerous than one would imagine.