this post was submitted on 03 Jul 2023
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The thing is, I am not going to drink to forget! It’s been going on since forever and it’s been a constant struggle for me to feel normal. I’ve felt like I’ve been in a funk where I’m constantly feeling overwhelmed and like I’m no longer a good person, or worse yet, like I don’t need to make art. It’s almost like an addiction. I have no idea how to deal with it, I’m not even going to say it’s not happening to me.
Sorry for the bleak outlook but I just really needed to get this out of my system. \n\nEdit: To all those asking for advice I’m sorry but I wasn’t sure if I was in the right place on this so let me know and I’ll do my best to reply. \nFirst of all I am not a terrible person, I’ve turned a corner, I think. I have moved on. I’m not an anti-social person or anything but I’ve learned to navigate social situations myself and as a result I am not as easily riled up as some people are making it sound. That being said, I am aware that I will feel immensely guilty in the morning. My cousin, like many others before him, is very anxious and I think that’s probably why he’s so anxious. \n\nThe thing is, I’m not angry about it. Like I said, I’m slowly coming around to accepting that I’m not a bad person by nature, but I still get like one angry call a week from people because I happen to be “in the wrong”. Again, sorry for the bleak outlook. \n\nI guess what I’m trying to get across is that I am not looking for solutions, I’m looking for people who can step up and be a little more confident in talking to me about these things because as it stands right now, it’s really hard for me to even get a moment to myself to actually get to where I want to be in life because every conversation I have with people about it ends with them wanting to put a bullet in my head. I want more for my kids than that’s just verbal attacks, I want them to have a better life than I did and I want things to be better for them than they are right now. \n\nSo if you could give me one piece of advice, what would it be?