YUROP

Last time I was on a beach, I dropped a fry and a seagull grabbed it.

Obviously, I didn't want a fry covered with sand, so I didn't mind. However, I discovered that the seagull who got the first fry would chase off any other seagulls that came to bother me. Each time I saw him doing that, I'd "drop" another fry.

I hired a seagull body guard with French fries.

That bird was absolutely on top of that situation. After a little while, the other seagulls all gave up and left me alone, so he didn't even have to do any more work for the fries, just stand watch.

Edit: Of course, this was on the US East Coast, and seagull relations are a little different on this side of the pond. I understand there might still be some sore feelings over there after the seagull wars. Some wounds take longer to heal.