this post was submitted on 08 Nov 2023
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This does sound like burnout, especially if lately is more than a couple of weeks. I'm sorry you're going through this. But I'd absolutely recommend against pushing yourself. As I've painfully learned, none of this will get better by doing more, but by doing less, and you have to learn how to do less because it's hard.
And you need help, some mental health professional that knows how to work with autistic patients. If not, there's a risk people will give you productivity advice and this can be counterproductive and dangerous.
You might need meds. I did.
I pushed myself through several burn outs until my brain stopped working (I couldn't think, my place could be burning and I wouldn't have even tried to escape. My brain didn't work). If it wasn't for my partner I could have died.
But this happened at the end of many "small" burnouts that I pushed through. Each burnout made the next one worse.
The reason I pushed through was because like you, it felt like I was not able to stop without losing too much. For me, this ended up with long term consequences.
I would absolutely recommend finding a way to slow down, even if it costs. If you burn out completely your brain will simply force you to slow down. This cost is higher than you can imagine. Achieving my goals has definitely taken longer than if I had found a way to slow down by myself.
If you absolutely are unable to slow down at work (for example if you live in a country without sick leave where you can get fired anytime and your parents are truly awful), then you need to do less on your spare time. No productivity, no forcing yourself through hobbies, no trying to regulate or mask.
Do anything that takes no effort or expectations. Don't try to regulate your time off, take naps as needed. Exercise is good, but you have to do it without goals or strict schedules. Keep yourself hydrated and fed. Take all the help if available, even if it feels temporarily less independent.
It feels like giving up, you'll get FOMO, you'll feel isolated and less independent, it sucks. You'll wonder why it's not getting better faster. But if your brain can recover a little, you will start slowly gravitating to some of the things you like. Even then, take it slowly and without expectations.
Agreed. This is all excellent advice!