this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2023
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Thanks for the reply. It was informative and helpful.
I really struggle to imagine what that's like. It's like you're telling me sometimes you forget to swallow and you end up with a lot of mystery food in your mouth. Scheduling is trivial for me, and it often feels like when people screw it up it's from negligence or apathy. Even if it's not.
And as the person who's getting flaked on or ghosted, it sucks. We made plans. I set aside time on Saturday for this thing together, and then you bail at the last minute because you forgot you had other stuff? Fucking hell, now my Saturday is fucked up.
Even if the flakiness is a medical problem, the pain and frustration is causes other people is real.
We know that, and we hate it, but that doesn't make the problem go away. Shit sucks for us, too, and getting yelled at for it doesn't make anything better. It's why a lot of us will just limit our circles to people who understand from direct experience, and not make plans with people who don't have the 'flake' trait.
I probably owe some of the people who read my post at the top of this thread an apology. It was mostly an outburst from years of frustration.
I know intellectually most people are trying their best. I shouldn't take my frustrations out on random Internet people. I did a bad and I apologize.
The thing is, your feelings are valid too. So it's all complicated and we just have to make the best of it.