this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2024
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[–] [email protected] 167 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (7 children)

"Shit, man, shit shit shit."

"Steve man. Calm the fuck down. What's wrong?"

"It's a customer, man."

"Please tell me they didn't take an orange from the bottom of the stack again."

"No, no. Worse. So much worse. He's buying the boule."

"Ha. You had me worried for a minute. Nobody buys the boule. You misheard."

"No, man, I'm telling you. He asked where it was. I made him repeat the question. He said again he wanted the 'sourdough boule.' He's got it in his cart now."

"...You're serious."

"Yes, man. He's about to fucking buy the boule."

"Shit, man. What are we going to do?"

"I don't know. I- I don't know. This has never happened before."

"We have to alert them."

"Them?"

"You know, them."

"Wh- you mean the simulation people?"

"You got a better idea?"

"Yeah, maybe drinking bleach. Not to mention we have no way to con-"

"H-hello? Um... Sim- simulation people? Um-"

"What the fuck are you doing, Ted? You fucking dipshi-"

"Yes?"

"..."

"..."

"Steve... you... you heard that, ri-"

"I don't have all day. What is it?"

"Shit, um."

"Yes sir, um, Mister Simulator sir, I-"

"Missus."

"Oh, um, sorry, the voice is just kindof... tinny an-"

"Look, we've got a problem. It's one of the... simulated."

"Mmm hmm?"

"He's on his way to the checkout now."

"And?"

"He's buying the boule."

"Mmm. Right. Thank you for alerting me. This anomaly will be dealt with."

"Oh. Um. O...kay. Um. Thank yo-"

"Wait, how exactly will it be deal-"

[–] [email protected] 55 points 2 months ago (5 children)

This reads like They're Made Out of Meat. It's brilliant.

[–] perspectiveshifting 41 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Thanks for the recommendation! Here's the short story mentioned if anyone else wants a read: https://www.mit.edu/people/dpolicar/writing/prose/text/thinkingMeat.html

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

That was a fun read! Thanks for that

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This American Life had H Jon Benjamin perform this, episode 803.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

That sounds amazing

[–] Klear 2 points 2 months ago

And a short film based on the story.

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