this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2024
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[–] Alexxxolotl 31 points 5 months ago (29 children)

Hold on. Apologies for being out of the loop, but do people really bring sexual fetish stuff to a pride parade?

And if so, what does that have to do with LGBTQ+?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago (27 children)

Imho there are two angles to this question:

  • First, queer folks are more likely to be kinky. Since they had to figure out what clicks for them at least once, they tend to do it on multiple aspects of their identities.
  • Secondly - and this one is more of a personal standpoint - I'd argue that kinks fall under the wider umbrella of queerness or GRSM (Gender Relational and Sexual Minorities which I find way better than an enumeration acronym).

I'd also advocate for including neurodivergences under the queer brand too for instance.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 5 months ago (6 children)

Also don't forget the historic aspect -- when queerness was viewed as sexually deviant and perverted, it was the kink community that stood by us. Just because we've evolved to be socially acceptable doesn't mean we should leave everyone else behind

[–] anindefinitearticle 0 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (3 children)

What kind of a “community” exists around kink? Or do you just mean the superset of communities like furries, and whatever else is out there? What’s the line between those and more problematic sex clubs?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

I felt the same way initially, just because I hadn't really been exposed to it prior, and had a lot of misgivings. I found Kat Blaque's video on the subject quite helpful just in giving context -- well worth a watch!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Define more problematic sex clubs

[–] anindefinitearticle 4 points 5 months ago

Jefferey Epstein didn’t kill himself.

Before he didn’t kill himself, he infamously ran some sex clubs.

These would be well-known examples representing a subset of what I would consider to be “problematic” sex clubs.

I would not want to be a part of a pride celebration where clubs like those have representation.

Pride is about throwing bricks at cops and celebrating our suppressed diversity, not the kinds of sex clubs that politicians go to. Pride is about tearing down hierarchies and problematic power dynamics, not fetishizing them. Or, at least, that’s my understanding of pride having never been to any sort of pride event. I know the history with stonewall and all of that, and that’s my picture of pride and what it should be.

The kinds of sex clubs that politicians go to are the only kinds of sex clubs of which I am aware, so I’m skeptical of sex clubs being represented at pride.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

I don't know why it sticks in my head but I read an article many years ago written by a straight cis woman who kept on showing up to a gay male leather BDSM club and chatting up a storm. One night one of the guys there tells her off causing her to write an article about how they were anti-woman to her. And from there she derived a general principle that male homosexuals hated women.

It's like dude, there is nothing for you there, it's their space not your space, if you showed up to my D&D table each week commenting and not playing I might do the same eventually. Also you know it is BDSM you should expect people into that to not exactly be super polite at all times. It's quite literally a kink around inflicting consensual pain on each other, not exactly a grandma's quilting circle.

I think it sticks in my head because I felt like she was trying to provoke something, was successful at it, and now that she was hurt she must be right about her preconceived homophobia.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

FetLife is a relatively respected kink social media platform. It's not about hooking up (though that certainly happens, just like on any online platform - hell, I knew people that later married that met in EQ). From my limited experience there, it's mostly about making everyone feel less ostracized. Of course, they have to have very explicit rules about consent, or that turns into a predator's playground - but again, that's true of any social media platform.

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