Tom Swifty Jokes

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A place to share and appreciate Tom Swifty jokes.

Rules:

  1. No bigotry allowed.

  2. Put the whole joke in the title.

  3. If posting a joke taken from elsewhere, cite the source and trim links of any metadata.

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1
7
"Lacking", Tom said without meaning. (midwest.social)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
2
13
"Why can't you ever be on time?" Tom said belatedly. (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
3
9
"That faint odour just came back", Tom said reminiscently. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
4
3
"Trump needs a better running mate", Tom dispensed. (midwest.social)
submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
5
12
"We are not cousins", Tom said unrelatedly. (midwest.social)
submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
6
7
"You just left ninety-nine hundreths of that cake!", exclaimed Tom extremely obtusely. (lemmy.ml)
submitted 5 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
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9
"It looks like you, and it does everything you do, and yet it isn't you", Tom said on reflection. (midwest.social)
submitted 5 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
8
6
"Tom got here after the other two", Tom said in third-person. (midwest.social)
submitted 5 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
9
2
"It's fair in this specific context", Tom said just in case. (midwest.social)
submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
10
3
"Well, Pumbaa, you should know that I've already bested your little friend at Battleship", Tom said sanctimoniously. (midwest.social)
submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
11
4
"Large semi-aquatic herbivores are vital to the health of the ecosystem", Tom said hypocritically. (midwest.social)
submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
12
4
"I might not have kids, but I can still self-identify as a father", Tom said transparently. (midwest.social)
submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
13
4
"This whole dissertation is a load of crap", Tom said in abstract. (midwest.social)
submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
14
2
"Veronica is much too formal," she said with irony. (midwest.social)
submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
 
 

OC

15
2
"That AA Milne adaptation was crap," Tom pooh-poohed. (midwest.social)
submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

OC, first posted

16
2
"Other guys never want to hang out with me," mentioned Tom. (midwest.social)
submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

OC, first posted

17
1
"For your insolence in disrespecting me, I shall become a scourge upon your kingdom", Ishtar said urbanely. (midwest.social)
submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
18
5
"Don't call me Francis," he said, being frank. (midwest.social)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

OC

19
2
"I come to pay respects to mighty Genghis", Tom contributed (midwest.social)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
20
3
"I have committed no crime", Tom pled in a sense. (midwest.social)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
21
2
"I'll force that little demon to do something", Tom said, making an impact. (midwest.social)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
22
2
"Listen Robo-Jack, you need to work on your punctuality!", Tom ejaculated (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
23
2
"Vegetarian dishes only", Tom metes out. (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
24
3
"Remember to change it up every seven days", Tom said very weakly. (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
25
2
"I named my aircraft in honour of the god of the Sun", Tom said apologetically (midwest.social)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
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