So it was around 2016 when I started to feel like I was in a rut when it came to gaming. There was a lot going on with games as service type models, and I just wasn't excited about anything related to gaming.

Anyway, I let my PC lie dormant for a few years, and took up a couple of new hobbies like playing D&D IRL.

Jump ahead five years and I started feeling really nostalgic for some of my old favourites: Dark Souls, Total War, management sims, and RPGs. It was awesome to be able to just pick up where I'd left off with the same PC, the same library of 5-10 year old games, and a renewed sense of interest in a collection I'd forgotten about.

For example, I put nearly 200 hours into Rome II Total War, a game I'd written off not long after it came out, but has been greatly improved by mods since I played it ten years ago. There are also newer titles like Assassin's Creed Origins, Odyssey and Valhalla, which I'd completely missed when they came out. I've also enjoyed Elden Ring, and I'm thinking about finally trying out Cyberpunk 2077 now that it's had 3 more years of development to fix everything.

The patient gamer mindset is honestly such a great approach for this hobby. I really recommend taking a break from gaming if you feel like you've lost your passion for it. As much as I enjoy gaming, you can burn out on it, and it's a great feeling to rediscover your favourite titles all over again when you return years later.

I thought at first that I was looking for Artist Idle, but that game doesn't contain any mention of computer parts. (I specifically remember there being a water clock upgrade, to start automatic pixel production, among others.)

I think it was called something like "CRT Idle" or "Scanline Idle", but neither of those searches have given my any results.

I've checked on itch.io and galaxy.click, with no success. (As well as googling it, duh)

When will people learn? Seriously. They keep touching fire and act equally surprised every time they get burned.

No Man's Sky. (Great now but holy hell was it a shit show)

Cyberpunk

Diablo IV

Far Cry 6

StarField

And now this latest Assasins Creed: Mirage.

Probably forgetting plenty of recent releases too that just faded into nothingness.

Personally, I'll be starting Batman Arkham Asylum this weekend. Heard it was pretty good. Should keep me busy for a while.

I'm really in the mood for a game like Shovel Knight after listening to some chiptune tracks the other day. Something fair, but challenging would be ideal. Must have a good soundtrack!

Along these lines I've already played:

• Shovel Knight
• Celeste
• The Messenger
• Hollow Knight (well, in terms of the difficulty not the music)

Does anyone know of any I've missed? They don't necessarily have to be modern indie games - old NES/SNES games for example. SMB3 and SMW are classics.

I'm a casual gamer who's been largely inactive for the past few decades, and so I'm looking for some some good game recommendations. I don't mind if they're old as long as they came out after 2003 (because that's when graphics of many games really started improving), maybe between 2008-2019. I'm also quite a picky gamer.

Here is a list of games that I've played before and that I liked (in no particular order):

• The Stanley Parable
• Counter-Strike: Source
• Counter-Strike Global Offensive
• Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
• Grand Theft Auto V (just started playing this one)
• Freeways
• The Wizard's Pen
• Need for Speed: Most Wanted
• Need for Speed: Heat
• Shadow of the Tomb Raider
• Simon Tatham's Puzzle Game Collection
• Minecraft
• Hamsterball
• Sifu
• Tekken 6
• SuperHOT
• Papers Please
• Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3
• Accelerator (by TenebrousP)
• The Professional
• Paraopticon
• Socrates Jones: Pro Philosopher
• ir:rational
• Viewport
• Lyxo
• Shadowess (by playchilla)
• Duet (by Kumobius)
• Chain Reaction
• Gumslinger
• Intersectiion Controller
• Little Alchemy
• Magic Survival (by Leme)
• Spy Tactics
• Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil
• Cyclomaniacs 2
• Learn 2 Fly 2
• Piano Tiles 2
• The Sims 3
• Plants vs. Zombies
• Tetris (on Facebook)
• Solitaire on Windows 7
• Space Cadet Pinball
• Purble Place

Here are games that I've played that I didn't like:

• Quake II RTX
• Doom (1993)
• Counter-Strike 1.6
• Left 4 Dead
• Half-Life
• Speed Dreams
• Assault Cube
• Terraria
• Minetest
• Xonotic
• Piano Tiles
• Geometry Dash
• Payback 2
• Touchgrind Skate 2
• Pixel Wheels
• NBA 2K11
• Defense of the Ancients
• Dota 2
• Sim City 2000
• OpenRCT 2
• OpenTTD
• The Sims 4
• Doki Doki Literature Club
• Tetris (any other implementation I've tried)
• Solitaire on Windows XP

Here are games I would like to avoid:

• Battle Royale / Deathmatch- style games (Fortnite, PUBG, etc.)
• MOBAs (League of Legends, Mobile Legends, etc.)
• Hero shooters (Overwatch, Rainbow Six Siege, etc.)
• Games with fantasy-based elements (Skyrim, The Witcher, Souls games etc.)
• RPGs
• Side-scrollers / Shoot-em-ups / Top-down games
• Platformers
• Horror/supernatural games (Resident Evil, Silent Hill, etc.)
• Management games (Civilization, Cities: Skylines, etc.)
• Artillery games
• Outer-space/post-apocalyptic games (Halo, Fallout, etc.)
• Cookie clickers / Walking simulators
• Rhythm games
• Sports games
• Game adaptations of existing media (Star Wars games, Arkham games, etc.)
• Board/card/gambling/collectible/gacha games\
• Games that have microtransactions/required DLCs
• Text adventures / Visual novels
• Trivia games
• VR games

Other than that, everything is fair game. I don't have any aversion towards graphic language/gore/sex.

My tastes might be too specific, but I hope someone here may be able to provide me with a recommendation!

I've been playing a lot of inscryption and while kaycee's mod is fun, it can get a little boring after a while. Is there anything that will scratch that itch? (that's not magic the gathering, too predatory).

Edit: Just bought slay the spire and it is really fun so far. Thanks to everyone for their suggestions.

I've always been familiar with Quake, but only as a multiplayer game. I've played a lot of arena shooters (I'm more of an Unreal Tournament fan), but for whatever reason I never got around to playing the real Quake. I didn't really expect much considering how badly DOOM has aged, especially in terms of level design and general game feel, but I was really impressed.

Quake holds up on all fronts. The gunplay feels good, the movement feels great, the enemy variety is pretty good, and the level design is a night and day difference from DOOM and DOOM 2. It's hard to imagine that they came out only two years apart.

Despite being copied a million times, I feel like Quake holds its own against modern shooters. I would recommend it to anyone who likes movement shooters, and I probably should've played this ages ago.

P.S: I HATE SHAMBLERS I HATE SHAMBLERS I HATE SHAMBLERS

We all have that one game that holds a special place in our hearts. What game is it for you?

For me, it's Metal Slug. Growing up, every Monday, my parents would drag me to the laundromat after work. As a kid, it was a pretty boring, but I had my toys, origami books, and coloring books to keep me entertained. However, my favorite thing to do was playing the Metal Slug arcade machine with my dad.

My dad was great at the game, and he taught me how to play. Though I improved, I could never keep up. When I'd inevitably die, he'd let me take over his side to let me have a bit more playtime. My favorite part was when he'd share stories from when he lived in another country and would go to the local arcade.

Those moments are cherished memories, and even today, whenever I visit an arcade, Metal Slug is the first game I play, despite still being terrible at it haha

Honorable mention goes to Mario 64, another game that holds a special place in my heart. I got an N64 from a garage sale, and playing Mario 64 while at home, with my mom's "chore" music in the background ignited my love for gaming

I eventually got round to playing this! I had the 2008 version on Steam, so I thought I'd give it a go instead of the recent remake. Note: if you're playing on Steam Deck, I'd recommend messing with the joystick deadzones for a smoother experience.

Despite being released 15 years ago, the graphics still look decent! Having no HUD elements is really neat. The gameplay was initially quite stiff and clunky feeling, but it's something you get used to. You may be aware that a unique mechanic for this game is the ability (and requirement) to cut off enemy limbs. I found this to be a very refreshing take on the standard shooter rule of going for the head. As you progress, you'll come across certain enemies that swing their limbs about wildly and this is where the 'stasis' power comes in very handy. Though more often than not I found myself unloading several bullets in panic, before remembering that stasis is a thing.

Ammo is very limited so you have to be conservative with it. In this respect (and perhaps in the claustrophobic nature of the game in general), I felt that there were a lot of similarities to the Resident Evil games. I was constantly running out of ammo for the plasma cutter (ol' reliable) which encouraged me to use the other weapons on offer, all of which were unique and fun.

I did feel like navigation of the ship was flawed. The layout was extremely confusing and same-y, so I usually depended on the guidance system to show me which way to go. If the game was designed from the ground up, I'd love to see a more open map approach with recognisable landmarks (akin to a Metroid Prime map).

The story is told in a similar manner to the first Bioshock game, with the lore explained through video/audio/text logs, and through the occasional NPC interaction from a distance. It was a straightforward story but it took interesting turns that I wasn't expecting.

I think Dead Space (2008) holds up really well, and is definitely worth playing in 2023. I don't know much about the remake, but assuming it improves the graphics and controls I'm guessing it would be the best option.

On to Dead Space 2!

I struggled with Samus Returns and the Prime games weren't my vibe, so I have to go back a long way for great Metroid. After seeing good reviews and a lot of positive word-of-mouth for Metroid Dread, it was near the top of my list of games to play when I'd finally pick up a Switch.

I was finally able to get my hands on my own copy of the game recently, and it started out promising, tapping into some of my Super Metroid memories. Unfortunately, I never really did get on with the game's stealth sections--if you want to call it that--with the EMMIs. Frustrating doesn't even begin to describe it. I hit game over more in this game than in every other Metroid game I've played, combined.

The game does eventually open up and it quickly grabbed me when it did. There is some incredible boss design here and (mostly) good map design. Locking map connection shortcuts behind power bombs wasn't a good move considering when you get them, but that faded to a minor annoyance by the end. After Samus Returns, it's easy to forget that you're supposed to get a bit lost.

What may be the highlight for me was, surprisingly, an interesting story. It's mostly told through atmosphere and subtle storytelling, like Hollow Knight, but there are some well-crafted cinematics sprinkled in. Samus is as expressive here as I've ever seen her. A really satisfying ending caps it off.

I'm excited to see what's next for the series. It's just a shame Dread has the EMMI sections because it just about guarantees I'll never replay it.

Tell us what game you are currently, or recently played, greater than 6+ months old.

Bonus points if its on sale, with a link.

Got RetroArch setup and working, got a controller, got PS2, N64, SNES emulators currently but likely get all old systems at some point.

Recommendations for games you found worth goong back to?

7/10

Having never played the original Tomb Raider games, I approached this title without nostalgia or prior knowledge of the franchise. It had been sitting in my backlog for a couple of years, and I decided to give it a shot recently.

I'm in an era of gaming where I've been gravitating towards titles with less traditional linear storylines, Tomb Raider managed to reignite my interest. Nowadays, I struggle to connect with a game's narrative, often due to interruptions, lack of immersion, or a boring story, leading me to abandon many story-driven games I've attempted in the past year or two.

I played this on my Steam Deck with a mixture of normal-high settings at 60FPS.

Story: 3/5

The narrative in Tomb Raider struck a balance that worked for me. I wasn't looking for an intricate web of character arcs and complex relationships. Instead, I wanted a storyline that would provide motivation and feature likable characters who contributed to the overall objective, and the game delivered on those fronts, with a bit extra.

Lara Croft, in particular, stood out as a likable protagonist. She possessed her share of flaws, but her actions and motivations were relatable. Her sense of guilt and her unwavering determination for her and her team's survival drove the narrative forward, making it engaging enough to keep me invested.

Mechanics: 3/5

Tomb Raider's combat mechanics played it safe with a standard approach (Arkham style combat with regular 3rd person cover-shooter stuff), and the weapon upgrades were straightforward, and they didn't particularly excite me. The allure of reaching the next campfire for upgrades didn't quite grab me. Additionally, the available skills for upgrading at these campfires didn't feel essential to me. Maybe I'm just a god gamer, but I never found myself needing more skills or upgrades.

While stealth was an option, it didn't feel particularly useful, given that you were likely to be discovered regardless of your efforts. Nevertheless, there was enjoyment in picking off a few guards before the inevitable reveal. The game seemed to have the foundation for capable stealth mechanic, but it didn't delve deeply enough into this aspect. I wished for more emphasis on stealth since it was a rewarding.

On a positive note, the parkour mechanics in the game were impressively smooth. I encountered no issues, and every movement felt fluid and intuitive.

Feel Like Lara Croft: 4/5

The controls in Tomb Raider were solid, but I wished for slightly more responsiveness. The controls were straightforward and easy to remember. I never missed jumps or had other similar issues, like in Assassin's Creed. I was never taken out of the immersion because of the controls and movement.

Visuals: 4/5

Visually, Tomb Raider was great. The game's portrayal of caves, tombs, and the decaying villages was stunning, despite a lack of details. The island setting itself was a highlight, with developers effectively conveying the ongoing struggle between Lara and the island. Progress always seemed to trigger a response from the island, sometimes hindering Lara, and surprisingly even aiding her at times. The relentless and ever-changing weather served as a constant reminder of the challenges and goals at hand, creating a sense of constant tension and danger. It wasn't until the end that I truly felt safe.

The cinematic action sequences were great as well. Action movie-like sequences were always excited, but I wish there were more of them. Additionally, the game's shift towards a horror ambiance in certain areas added depth to the experience. While I wasn't exactly scared, some parts of the game managed to create an eerie atmosphere.

The death animations in the game, although at times gruesome, added to the stakes and made me more reluctant to die. Paradoxically, they also piqued my curiosity, I would sometimes die on purpose to see if I would unlock a new animation haha

Considering that Tomb Raider is from 2013, its visual quality has held up well. This era of games, marked by the need to rely on style due to limited processing power for realistic graphics (compared to today), has aged gracefully. While it may not be the best-looking game by today's standards, it features awe-inspiring settings that contributed to my overall enjoyment of the game. I was always excited to see what the next zone would look like.

Accessibility 5/5

I appreciate Tomb Raider not for its groundbreaking innovation but for its comforting familiarity. It's a game that provides all the visual and audio cues you could ask for – red means explosion, white means climbable, green and yellow signify ammo, and so on. Some might argue that this simplicity makes the game too easy, but for me, at this moment, it strikes the perfect balance

After long days filled with work, gym, cooking, and chores, there are moments when I simply don't have the energy to dive into a challenging game that demands my full attention.

It's challenging to put into words, but Tomb Raider feels like a pure, unadulterated game. Many of the titles I've been playing lately often come off as templates that require a lot of effort on my part. How much fun I have with the game heavily relies on how much effort I'm willing to put into the game. Multiplayer games demand practice, games like Stardew Valley and Enter the Gungeon require constant wiki searches, open-world titles like Breath of the Wild need hours of thorough exploration, and complex RPGs demand deep immersion in the story.

Tomb Raider, in contrast, feels like a fully-formed experience ready to be enjoyed from the get-go. It offers a frictionless and barrier-free journey that requires no additional effort on my part. I understand that many games are like this, but this one served as a reminder of how much fun such straightforward, immersive experiences can be to me.

Overview

Overall, Tomb Raider is an enjoyable experience. I enjoyed everything enough to keep playing and motivate me to buy the next game in the series. I know to most this might not be the most exciting game, but to me it has has changed the directions of the next couple games that I will play.

Favorite Part

This next paragraph will have a couple spoilers.

I think my favorite part was the end. Everything starts to hit Lara like a train. Even the villain tells her that she isn't actually a hero despite everyone praising her throughout the game. She has also killed a bunch of people who were just trying to escape the the island. I think it can even be argued that she's worse than anyone on the island. She is not the hero, she is just another survivor. Maybe she could have worked with them so they would all escape together, but how successful would she have been negotiating with borderline feral, stranded survivors? I felt satisfied with the end and look forward to more from the series.

Left feeling a bit empty after playing it for the first time a few months ago(why did I wait so long?) I am afraid no JRPG will be able to surpass it. Would love to have a discussion about similar games that reach the same quality level (Note: I have already played Final Fantasy VI ).

This ~~month~~ week's free game is Spelldrifter:

Introducing Spelldrifter, a hybrid tactical role playing game and deck building game that features the best parts of both! Spelldrifter combines the puzzle-like positional tactics of a turn-based RPG battle with the deep customizability and replayability of a collectible card game. The result: a hybrid, wherein players must juggle the resources at their disposal using both time and space.

With Spelldrifter's innovative Tick System, players are challenged to think of card game strategy in a new light. With each character action, the turns interweave on a single timeline. With mastery of the timeline, players gain great advantage in battle and earn the satisfaction of decisive victory. Select your party of heroes, build your decks, and embark on an adventure deep into Starfall as you search for the entrance to the mysterious Labyrinth!

Has anyone played it?

This is a little love letter to my PS4.
I bought it refurbished three years ago for a little bit more than 120 bucks. This was my first Sony device! I already had an Xbox 360 from 2013 and a Switch from 2017.
My first game was Detroit: Become Human. What an experience!
I played the Uncharted series for the first time. Then The Last of Us 1 and 2. I thought I was a grumpy old gamer but man, TLoU is something else. And then I got PSVR! So many crazy nights playing Beat Saber, Skyrim VR and Superhot VR.
I love being a patient gamer. And I love my PS4. I still have so many games to play through and it just keeps on chugging along.

What are your favorite single player games to go back to often?

• Minecraft
• Furi
• Mario 64
• Super Mario World
• GTA SA and Vice City

It's kinda rare for me to go back to a single player game and replay it, but there are some games that are nostalgic in the same way place or smell can be nostalgic.

I know them so well that I can't help but want to go back and visit and I never really get disappointment by the experience. Sure, I don't get as immersed as the first time, but I definitely still enjoy the games.

I suppose Baldur's Gate 3 could be an example for a lot of people. Any recent or just "recent" release you are waiting for to get at the moment?

This will be quite long, so for those who don’t feel like reading it all, the tl;dr is: played Dark Souls III, then Elden Ring, then Sekiro, then Dark Souls 1, then replayed Dark Souls III.

Back around when the final dlc for Dark Souls III released, I saw it go on sale. Just the base game, but I decided to pick it up as I had heard Dark Souls games were supposed to be really good. I knew it was hard but that was about it. Once I booted it up and heard the title screen music, I immediately fell in love. If the rest of the music was half as good as this, I knew I’d love the game even if the gameplay sucked. So I started playing.

I really sucked at it. I kept dying to the intro boss. I even tried making a new character just to beat him. However, after many failed attempts, I finally got him, and I felt the rush. I’d never felt like that before while playing a game, but it made me want to keep playing and go through whatever challenges necessary to feel that feeling again. So I pushed on. Went to Firelink, did the High Wall of Lothric, fought Vordt, died many times, finally killed him and got that awesome feeling back. So I kept going.

I eventually got decent, and started getting bosses in 10-20 attempts which was better than what I was doing at the start, embarrassingly. Pontiff brought me back to dozens of attempts, but other than that I was doing well. I continued to do even better, and even managed to kill the Dancer on my second attempt (first real attempt, since I died almost immediately when she surprised me into a boss fight).

Then I got to the Twin Princes. Man, these guys drained me. I was stuck on them for so long. Literal hundreds of attempts went into these guys. I quit many, many times. I took breaks from the game for a while but I’d always come back and always get crushed. Full length games came and went, but I’d keep coming back to DS3, and I’d keep dying to the Twin Princes. I nearly gave up for good. However, literal years later, on one very lucky day, i finally killed them. I had sunk many, many hours trying to figure these guys out, and it finally paid off. I don’t need to tell you how good that felt. With that amazing feeling,

I went into the endgame and completed Dark Souls III. I missed out on all the optional areas, and didn’t buy the dlc, but I beat Dark Souls III. It was my greatest gaming achievement by a long shot at that time. It felt damn good.

A couple years later, Elden Ring came out. In typical patientgamers fashion (which I didn’t realize was a thing at the time), I waited close to a year before pulling the trigger. I think it was the Christmas sale when I got it, and man I fell in love. 200 hours later and I had all achievements. Another 60 hours and I completed every single dungeon, catacomb, and optional area. I think I’ve seen just about every pixel of that game at this point. With my DS3 experience going into ER I started out playing decently well, but ended up a pretty competent player. I can fight pretty much any boss at this point without much trouble. Certainly not good enough for intense challenge runs, mind you, but still.

After that obsession started to get me burnt out, I decided to try the rest of their games out, so I got Sekiro next as it was on sale. It took a few hours and a couple attempts but I finally got into the game, and got sucked into it. I became obsessed, more than I was with Elden Ring. Whenever I wasn’t playing the game I was watching videos about it or reading up on the game. Another game I’ve probably seen every pixel for. After 100 hours and 4 playthroughs, I got all achievements in Sekiro too. Those are still the only two “long” games (longer than a few hours) I have all achievements for. Sekiro is also probably the game I feel I’m best at. I was able to do a deathless run so that was pretty awesome. I doubt I could do that now since it’s been a little bit, but still something awesome to brag about. I nearly did deathless with charmless and bell active but died to snake eyes unfortunately. That one stung.

Eventually, the Dark Souls trilogy went on steam sale for the first time in a year and a half. I immediately pulled the trigger. At this point, I had played a bit of Demon’s Souls and Dark Souls 1 and 2 but never completed any, so I didn’t bother mentioning them earlier. I knew I’d like them but didn’t know how much. I started with the first one. The visual style (mostly lighting) threw me off a bit, but I got used to it and eventually ended up loving its charm. I fully completed Dark Souls Remastered including all bosses and optional areas. Another game I became obsessed with. At this point I was definitely feeling like a competent FromSoft gamer. No boss took more than 5 attempts on my first playthroughs which was a big step up from my DS3 playthrough. I still don’t have all achievements for DS1 yet, but that will come soon I’m sure.

After DS1, I tried the second. As mentioned before, I did play a little bit of it, but not much. Honestly, I couldn’t get into it right after playing DS1. The movement just felt too off. I felt way to fast and the gameplay felt way too sensitive. I got really used to the deliberate gameplay of the first one, that the second felt too fast and like I didn’t have as much precise control over my movements. I’m not sure how to better explain it than that, but it might just be a me problem because I tried a different third person action game after and felt the same feeling so maybe DS1 just ruined some games for me. Wouldn’t be surprised. I still haven’t gotten far yet into DS2 but I do plan on eventually playing it and completing all areas and bosses.

Temporarily skipping the second one, I finally decided to replay DS3. I booted it up for the first time in years, and instant nostalgia hit. It felt good to be back. The movement felt better too which was good, I was worried I’d have the same issue as with DS2 and it would sour my experience, but thankfully that wasn’t the case.

I created a character, cleared out the first area, got to the first boss, and, well, wow. I shredded him. Like, it wasn’t even close. How did I struggle with this guy so much before? Like I mentioned, I created multiple playthroughs in an attempt to hopefully kill this guy, and I died many times on him, and this time around I tore him apart without much thought. Despite the easy fight, killing him first try felt awesome, because it showed me how far I had come. That was a way better feeling than a simple boss kill rush feeling.

So on I pressed, eventually getting to Vordt, who I think took two attempts but went down easy enough. I carried on, through the next few areas, and eventually came to Farron Keep. This area was more annoying than I had remembered. It certainly wasn’t unbearable, better than the Tomb of the Giants from DS1, but still pretty annoying to deal with. But after making my way through, I got treated to the Abyss Watchers, my favourite boss my first time around, who I got a brand new appreciation for after having fought Artorias. Down they went, and on I pushed.

I think the first new content I explored was the Smouldering Lake. It was a bit tougher than expected, so I decided to put a pause on it. I did quickly grab the Fume Ultra Greatsword, a weapon I really wanted my first time around but that I was too scared to work for, and it became my weapon of choice for the rest of my playthrough once I got my strength up high enough. I was using Zwei beforehand if anyone was curious.

After dying a few times to the Old Demon King and deciding the Lake was to be put off until later, I carried on with the regular game, including Irithyll which is still my favourite city in any video game ever, and up until the Dancer, which I got first try. I guess it wasn’t a fluke before, she’s just a boss I fight well. I know a lot of people find her tough so I feel lucky that I understand her attacks well. She’s one of my favourite bosses now I think. Once killing her, rather than going to Lothric proper, I decided to go to the next optional area of the game, and kill Oceiros. The fight was pretty straightforward but a lot of fun. Reminded me a bit of Seath despite not at all playing like that fight. Not sure why, but not complaining. Both cool boss fights for sure.

I continued in that direction with the optional stuff, including the alternative starting area which was equal parts cool and creepy to visit, and fought Champion Gundyr, another boss fight I know some folks struggle with that I managed to get first try. I always play without npc summons but did this one with a summon because ha ha naked sword man funny, and also because it was cool to fight alongside a normally annoying npc, so maybe that’s why it was an easy fight for me, but after exploring the alternate Firelink, I went back on the main path and through Lothric proper.

Dragonslayer Armour was as annoying as ever, and I think killed me twice, but I learned to appreciate the fight a little bit this time around. The atmosphere is cool as hell, and I love the design of the butterflies. Going through the archives was also annoying, and unfortunately I didn’t learn to appreciate this one, I still don’t like that part of the game. Not the worst, certainly not as bad as the Irithyll dungeon, but not amazing like the Irithyll city either.

I kept going on, and finally got to the Twin Princes again. Man, I was dreading this. It was my run killer last time. It was the thing looming over my head the entire playthrough. I prepared myself, made sure I was ready, and went in. The music haunted me. It’s an amazing track, but it reminded me of the many hours spent angry at this boss all those years ago. This was my nemesis in terms of video games. I killed the first phase, but I knew that was the easy part. Queue the cutscene, then on to phase two, where I was surely to die over and over and over again. Except I didn’t. I killed them. First try. I still had their entire move set completely memorized. It wasn’t even a case of “oh I remember that attack now”, I always knew every telegraph. I never forgot, and I killed them first try. It was amazing. It was the best rush I’ve felt outside of Sekiro. I still can’t believe I managed to do that.

At this point, I paused the main game and did the dlc. I went through Ashes of Ariendel and had a lot of fun. I know everyone says Friede is one of the hardest boss fights ever, but after dying quickly to her first phase, I managed to kill her second try. It was intense, but I did it. That also felt really awesome.

I knew I still had the Nameless King to fight, so on I went to complete that area. The area itself was a bit annoying but also really cool so I’m not really complaining. I think it took 8 or 9 attempts but I managed to get the Nameless King, which was a really epic boss fight. I found the fight to not necessarily be incredibly hard but rather incredibly punishing. I was able to deal decent damage and his attacks were telegraphed well, but one wrong slip and the You Died screen would come say hello. His attacks just dealt so much damage. I completed the second phase with hardly getting hit because any time I did an attempt and got hit it would be game over, between the high stagger and high damage.

I then started the Ringed City. Once I finished the Dreg Heap including the Demon Prince, and got to the actual Ringed City, I realized I could kill the final boss of the base game and continue playing, so I did that. Second attempt, Soul of Cinder was defeated. I beat the game again, but I wasn’t done yet. So back to the dlc. I continued through the city a bit until I got to the bonfire just after the summoning archers. I went through the following area a few times with the ringed knights, but either kept dying or running out of estus and booting it back to the bonfire, and after a while I realized I wasn’t having fun anymore. I still want to fight the last three bosses in the dlc but for the time being, that’s where my journey has ended. I did end up going back and killing the Old Demon King, as well as finishing that whole area, but I forget when so I’m tacking it on at the end here.

I’d also like to mention I’m cheating with the whole patientgamers thing a bit because I actually preordered Armored Core VI and started playing day one. I never do that but did it this time, first time pre-ordering anything since 2016 I think. It’s definitely the exception, I don’t plan on buying new games again for a long time. But given that AR6 is also a FromSoft game I thought I’d mention it at the end here.

Anyway, that’s my journey so far. If even a single person read this, thank you! It took me, like, an hour to write this out, so I really do appreciate it. Drop a comment down below about anything pertaining to FromSoft and their games. I’d love to talk about it some more.

Update: I powered through the rest of the Ringed City and completed it. I haven’t killed Midir yet, but besides that I’ve killed every boss and explored every area of Dark Souls III. Midir is just a bit too tough for now, I’m going to put the game down for a while and work my way through Dark Souls II I think. One day I’ll come back and kill Midir, but that day is not today. For the time being, Midir stands as the only boss to beat me, the player (obviously my character has died many times though)

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/3811821

Ok no funny intro this time. You'll read it anyway, right? Cocks shotgun

==========

Star Wars Battlefront: Elite Squadron (DS)

Nay don't get your hopes up: It's not a full-fledged Battlefront game on the DS. This is, for the most part, a top-down shooter, but it does take a lot from the Battlefront formula and bigger SW games overall. And it does have some first person and third person sections, so I'm including it just to round things up. Also, did you know there's a Battlefront game on the DS? I didn't.

Earlier this year I played Rogue Squadron for the N64. It's highly praised for the Star Wars feel - the music, sounds, assets, all that. And sure, that stuff works, especially if you like SW.

But I'm also not sure if a game should be praised for taking everything from other sources? It should stand on its own regardless of material, and frankly I don't think Rogue Squadron is that good outside of its licence. You don't even get space battles for crying out loud.

I'm mentioning this because Elite Squadron hits you with everything like a Star Wars game as well: The music, the look, the story as it begins at the beginning of Episode III. Yep definitely a SW game. But what is it aside of that?

Most of the playtime is spent in birds eye view, however everything is rendered in 3D, so there's no cheaping out there. It's not all there is though. Soon you'll also be riding a speeder in racing view with a back camera, and maybe most effectively, also fighting space battles. Like, in space. A war among the stars, who would've thought? And a few short turret sections here and there for good measure.

Shooting is very simple, the game auto-locks on a nearby enemy so you don't need to do much more than move and hold the button. As a battlefront game, you have 4 classes which you can switch at stations scattered everywhere. There's little reason to choose anything but a heavy and his chaingun, unless the game tells you to hack something.

Space battles are where it's at in my opinion. They're greatly simplified, in particular you can only move in a 2D plane left/right, but come on, even so flying a TIE or an X-Wing is pretty cool.

What's really interesting is how often the game switches between different mechanics. You'll never spend more then 10 minutes doing something before it switches to something else. It smells as being made for kids with a short attention span, but I still I welcome it, as it keeps things fresh. Again, it really is a simple game, so at least it doesn't get too boring.

I do appreciate how varied the environments are too - now yes it's all taken from the movies, but still, you get to to fight your fights on Geonosis, Kashyyk, Hoth, Endor, Mustafar, a few Star Destroyers... They look pretty nice too, all things considered. Simplistic, but recognisable and in 3D.

The story that holds everything together spans episodes III, IV, V, VI and a little beyond. You're a special clone - meaning you're the most generic dude with a brown beard game protagonist instead of the clone proper the Clone Wars are named after.

Anyway your twin brother stays with the empire, and you join the rebels, so you take part in all the major events and battles across the 4 movies, and meet most major characters. Eventually you even become a Jedi... Not what I expected, this kinda stands out like a sore thumb. But I guess it's a way to round things up and have truly everything in one game.

The story is quite cheesy in my opinion, but isn't too insulting and it does help move things along, especially combined with the fast pace of the game.

It's also a suuuuper easy game, enemies drop like flies. Well at least until the final boss, who's a cheating bastard (you'll never guess who is the adversary here, will you?), so I found it fair to cheat in return. Otherwise it would take like 20% of the entire playtime, sheesh.

So the game doesn't really have much of its own thing. It's almost all repurposed Star Wars stuff, if not from the movies, then from the Battlefront games proper. And what it adds, isn't much to write home about.

Still, it is close to an ultimate Star Wars DS game - you get to relive all the important bits from the movies, it keeps good pace and switches mechanics often so it doesn't get stale, and at total playtime of at most 4 hours, it's not too annoying.

Also, you can do skirmish fights with bots - including space battles, and various modes on the ground like point control, capture the droid or hero battles using the Jedi from the films. Maybe I'm looking at it wrong and just like with the big Battlefront games, multiplayer is really where it's at with this one.

Rating: 6/10 - optionally add a point or two for the bots, as that looks pretty fun.

==========

Dementium: The Ward Remaster (3DS)

Okaaaay I'll play it, geez...

So, I agree with the notion that if you can't make a decent story or setting, don't bother at all rather than make some generic trash. Which is why I don't mind that Bionicle Heroes doesn't have any story whatsoever, while the likes of Moon, C.O.R.E and Ironfall just go with the "fuck it, alien research going wrong and alien invasion it is, lol" first draft.

Anyway, the people behind Moon also made this horror game set in an abandoned hospital populated with zombies with teeth for ribs and children ghosts, because they come from Genericland ruled by King Standard the Universal.

I don't vibe with horror games well. I can do the Doom 3/F.E.A.R. kind of horror where I can move like a human with working legs and have enough firepower to level the continent 6 times over. Or alternatively when I can switch on wuss mode like in SOMA and go on to explore the apocalyptic carnage and be annoyed by stupid broken physics puzzles instead of the mutated critters constantly poking me with their bloody claws.

What I can't do much, is the survival kind of horror with tropes like limited saving, barely having ability to fight, and a character with shat pants that trips over their own feet.

Dementium is somewhere in between. There are weapons to deal with the threats (at least on the lowest "normal" difficulty), so that's something. But it also does the cheap horror gotchas like zombies jumping at you just as the new room loads, shitty little slimy flying embryos that can kill you very quickly if you don't pixel-perfect snipe them immediately, and infrequent save points, a very small area of vision without a flashlight, the walking pace of a salted snail, and the omnipresent annoying heartbeat, but... But... Hm...

Yea, no buts. It's a totally standard horror shooter, complete with cryptic messages written in blood, shuffling footsteps, locked doors and all that. Now, props for existing before the explosion of bazillions other 1st person low-poly horror games that are out today and do the exact same thing; and obviously it's on the DS/3DS, so that's extra points. But we had seen all of this so many times even before.

The game does exactly what it wants to do I guess, so if you're looking for horror on the go, then this should work well enough. DS is the right system for it indeed, as even the 3DS version already makes it a bit too smooth, while the native DS roughness fits it well. It's definitely creepy and unnerving enough. Mostly.

I quit about an hour in, when a Silent Hill-style skinless boss killed me in a locked room, because the controls are just fiddly enough and the walking pace is just slow enough for "real" combat to be quite annoying. And of course the last savepoint was several critters- and darkness-filled rooms back.

These and other classic survival horror tropes aren't even scary, it's just annoying bullshit and a great way to make me close and uninstall the game. I looked up a playthrough and I don't feel like I missed out on anything but more of the same blood-filled hospital hallways and repeating annoying enemies over and over anyway.

I sorta respect that the devs succeeded in what they wanted to do; for a DS game (originally) this is quite cool. However, even more so than Ironfall, it's not easy to look past how extremely derivative and uninspired it is. I think I'm rather gonna try Luigi's Mansion for some scary fix.

If you do want to try it, I suggest the DS version, as the PS1 low-poly styling and narrower field of view gives it more charisma.

Rating: 5-6/10 - functionally it's fine, but the clichés are annoying, and damn is it generic as hell. The extra point is just for there not being a lot of DS/3DS games like it.

==========

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3: Defiance (DS)

Send help. Why am I doing this to myself? COD4:MW really was a trojan horse of the N-Space developer, as it was quite alright, but the sequel and one later 007 spinoff were utter trash. I have no interest in World of War as it's clear that Brothers in Arms blows it out of the water, and I briefly tried Black Ops to find that it's also basically unplayable. But one remains... Egh fuck it, it can't be worse than what I've already seen.

But well, the game doesn't start too bad. It's a stealth mission, which is quite the first for COD and not as shit as GE007, the snow looks decent and hey, music is a more constant presence. Even the framerate doesn't tank too much until you start running into multiple enemies, and the AI is scaled back to the level of the first MW. Alright, maybe this won't be such a disaster.

And so I was playing - basically just going through the motions, and I certainly felt the same was the case for the developers. Just going through the motions, no passion anymore. MWM at least had a bit of that. In that one you had a remote controlled robot you needed to deploy and pick up; here, if there's a RC section, it just switches you to the robot's view and then back.

There is a handful of new mechanics, but they're all scraping the bottom of the barrel. To breach a door, you place a charge with a button, it blows, and then the scene goes into slow-mo like in the "big" COD games, except when I first got it, I didn't know if it's actually slow-mo or just the framerate tanking.

Even the TV news clips are mostly gone and there are just text briefings now. Everything in this game feels so, so tired. Maybe that's where the 'improved' gameplay comes from... There just were no more attempts to make something cool.

Of course, it doesn't help that while the previous two games had you chase after nuclear terrorists all around the world, here you get the most mundane objectives - secure a warehouse, secure a pipeline, secure a weapons shipment... Since MWD follows the main MW3 game and its ridiculous idea of Russia invading with wave attacks of middle-aged men and malnourished teenagers armed with weapons from the 50's... Er, okay, I guess this was quite prophetic after all. But in the whole game you only have random missions in the US, and it ends on a complete whimper.

I don't mind that in theory - I still think the simpler COD4 worked better than the overconfident, but almost unplayable MWM; and there's nothing wrong with small-scale, personal stories in games. But it feels truly lifeless, as if it was the last game out of five DS shooters in two years, in addition to all the other games n-Space has made during that time, and they ran out of steam.

Bugs are back too - AI glitching, objectives not registering, sounds not playing. More evidence of the same.

But in terms of playability, or rather playability to bullshit ratio, it's still the best of the trilogy. It went away with double-tap aiming and stupid minigames of COD4, it doesn't have the dogshit framerate and rabid AI of MWM... It just really doesn't have much of anything.

Not exactly an epic ending to the MW trilogy, the COD on DS saga, or the whole N-Space shooter lineup. Well, they died as they lived: Meh.

Rating: 5/10 - listed in dictionary under the definition of "average".

==========

Older reviews:

I. Moon, COD4, C.O.R.E., Ironfall: 3DS community - Patient gamers

II. Chibi Robo, MechAssault, Bionicle: 3DS community - Patient gamers

III. Brothers in Arms, GoldenEye Rogue Agent, COD:MWM: 3DS community - Patient gamers

IV. Metroid Prime Hunters, Dead'n'Furious, GoldenEye 007: 3DS community - Patient gamers

I played it on my phone which nowadays is the port of the pixel remaster. I loved it and I thought it was great! I definitely felt a little overpowered due to not fleeing at all. I would recommend checking it out, I got just under 28 hours of playtime on my first run.

Shadow Tactics was released in 2016 or so. It takes place in Japan in the 1800's and your job is to control 5 characters, a loyal Samurai, a skilled ninja, a young thief, an elegant spy and an elderly sniper, through large levels to accomplish goals for the Shogun, who is trying to stop a bloody war.

You have a wide variety of goals. Eavesdropping, assassination, destroying supplies, rescuing captured allies and so on. You are always vastly outnumbered by enemy troops so stealth is a vital part of the gameplay. The average enemy soldiers often patrol in groups. "Straw Hats" are very disciplined guards that are hard to distract and never leave their posts. Enemy Samurai share the same drive as Straw Hats and are heavily armoured, requiring an equally skilled opponent or a firearm to take down effectively.

Each person on your team has unique tools to evade, distract and kill them, slowly chipping your way through the enemy or trying to avoid them and slip by undisturbed. The open levels give you many ways to succeed. Some characters can climb up and down buildings with ease using ropes and vines, while others are restricted to getting to vantage points only by ladders and doorways. Disguises are useful to infiltrate crowded areas, but enemy Samurai know who is supposed to be there and will blow your cover.

The conditions your team finds itself in are a factor too. Mountain snow leaves your footsteps visible for guards to see and follow. Darkness covers your movement in uninhabited areas but entering well lit areas becomes a much more dangerous move. Puddles make silent footsteps draw enemy attention. On the other hand a dozen soldiers training at a target range will cover your attacks if they are well timed.

You normally control one person at a time but the game also has a mechanic to plan and execute actions all at once. For example if two guards face each other you can distract one guard with a rock, just long enough for your sniper to take out the other, and by the time the first notices the fate of their partner he is being silenced by the stab of a bade.

I've only dabbled with the Commando's games and I hear they are great but thanks to more intuitive controls I took to Shadow Tactics first. It's so nice how almost all the hotkeys are listed in the visual hud! But now that I've finished the main story (about 15 levels if I remember correctly, not counting a DLC with more) I'm looking forward to giving them a better look. The genre reminds me of Conflict: Desert Storm from the very early PS2 days and that's a good thing.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/3629866

I'm still alive! Still playing shooters on the 3DS! Still mad!

==========

Metroid Prime Hunters (DS)

Note: This covers only the single-player campaign, not bot matches.

Everyone and their pet, and their pet's pet, and their pet's pet's flea, is telling me to play this...

I've never played a Metroid Prime game, but the 2D Metroids leave me conflicted. I appreciate the sci-fi setting and love the spooky atmosphere, so I always start one with a good feeling. Then I get hit by the difficulty, getting lost and stuck, needing to find upgrades, backtracking, the vague story, basically I dislike the combination of stuff that makes Metroid Metroid.

And so it starts with MPH as well. The game handles amazingly well. While a couple other shooters feel pretty good for the DS, Metroid offers precision and speed on the level of a full gaming system. I'm especially a fan of the high field of view, which gives the game an alien vibe, but more importantly just feels so fine. Indeed there are full console FPSs that can make me ill after 10 minutes due to narrow FOV, and yet this little DS game can manage such a wide view. Nice.

One issue is that there's a good amount of buttons in addition to camera control and double-tap jump, all on the touchscreen. So it's easy to make a mistake and switch weapons instead of jumping during first person platforming over a death pit while on a timer.

The are a couple different environments to visit - frozen space stations, lava fields, the occasional psychedelic path or flesh interfaces... It all looks fantastic and especially impressive in 3D and on a DS. It's such a shame that the DS doesn't support linear texture filtering. This game especially could benefit from not being so blocky.

I can't praise the music and sound design enough either; and again not just "for the DS", but in general. I don't know why so many games nowadays refuse to use punchy sounds. Metroid, even with its laser guns and other sci-fi elements, sounds more believable than real-life shooters.

Although it's also quite eerie to hear the same musical themes on the same kinds of levels across Metroid games for decades. I'm not saying the throat chorus doesn't fit with lava pits, I just don't quite follow such a deep association.

There's a story of some sort, I guess? You need to collect some things that other people also want, and there's this and that about an extinct civilisation or other in purposely obtuse logs, and you kill everything and win. Like any other Metroid or every Nintendo game for that matter, it runs with the porn movie analogy when it comes to stories.

The level design is a bit of a double-edged sword, I think. It flows well, and levels tend to loop into themselves and offer shortcuts, so they aren't too obtuse to navigate... At least at first. But they're also quite contrived and videogame-y - doors opening after you kill all enemies, suspiciously morphball-sized paths, and layouts making less logical sense than 2D Mario levels. I hear they're mostly just repurposed multiplayer arenas - and yep, that tracks.

You need to revisit each station again after you have the right tools/weapons to open the doors. It's not just a simple rehash though, entire new sections open up. Here the levels become more complex, making it easier to get stuck, and overall the level of ~~bullshit~~ sorry, cHaLLeNGe, ramps up quite a bit.

The enemies are mostly fairly standard alien critters, but surprisingly, a few types move ridiculously fast. Even more surprisingly, I was mostly able to keep up with them. I couldn't imagine fighting something so quick on anything but a PC with a mouse, and yet here on the DS, it works.

Where the game really strains its controls, are the bosses and countdown challenges. I hate the whole concept of videogame bosses that are eventually dropping a whole barrage of nukes on you while you're stuck in a tiny room with them, chipping on their oddly specific armor weak points until they pop out of their shell for 3 seconds so you can chip away on them directly 1 hp at a time or missing all the shots with a railgun and having to do it again and again and again and again and again. Those bosses.

So at some point I resorted to cheats, because I was getting a cramp in my hand from doing the same motions over and over and over and over and over and over. And the bosses aren't even fun - just lame automatic defences copypasted over and over (and over and over). The hunters and mini-bosses you encounter all over the game are much more creative. At least the final one ends on a high note, although it's just a JRPG type monster with all the bullshit boss mechanics.

And of course every station goes on to auto destruct after the boss, and that's more cases where the game turns fugly. First off, it's just contrived as hell. If the thing is about to blow up, how come that I can come back later? And how come the timer is also set to just about the right time for that particular instance of that station?

So you need to backtrack all the way through the whole damn map - teleports stop working because fuck you, except of the necessary ones because shut up. First person platforming may be involved and that just becomes irritating on a timer. Enemies respawn and you need to kill them again to open the damn doors, sometimes a hunter shows up, all the while you might be low on health and having sweaty hands after the boss fight - and - again to stress that part - on a pointless timer.

I guess it's just as true here as with the 2D titles: the game is cool except of the Metroid tropes. Most of the time, it tends to be pretty helpful, usually it's fairly clear where to go, there's a groovy 3D map, and even checkpoints. You don't even need to find suit upgrades, so at first it's easy to just vibe with the flow of the game without too much friction.

But, after the first third of the game, the honeymoon is over and it switches into some sort of a hardcore mode. A lot of the time you get locked in a room with more enemies, or you need to do "puzzles" which just involve running around in a couple rooms, pixel-hunting for buttons, navigating contrived labyrinths, more pixel-hunting for stuff to scan, beating pointless timers, first person platforming or everything together.

It's rarely much fun anymore, and usually not even a decent ChaLlEnGe - or when it is, it gets absolutely fucking console-snapping-rage murderous. Most of the time, it's just the same handful of boring or annoying tasks to do over and over. The game always shows you what it wants in a cutscene anyway (which you need to view every time you inevitably fail some of these), so it's not even a surprise. Just busywork to finally get over with.

I was reading my notes from when I started the game, phrases like "Overall, It's hard to not be impressed with this whole thing," "Even if it came out today on a non-handheld system, it would be a decent game; so on a DS in 2006?" and "Damn, what an achievement."

And I just wonder if someone switched the game on me for a much lesser version. It still has a solid basis and looks great, but really leans into repetition and stupid challenges rather than new ideas and atmosphere. Nearing the end, I felt more motivation to finish the trashy Modern Warfare Mobilized, while Metroid seemed like obligation, if that makes sense.

Just like the previous Metroids I've played, the damn game lured me in with the atmosphere, and then dropped a bunch of nails on my path, and a few hammers on my head. Even more sneakily this time, with all that friendly 3D and fun shooting. I feel cheated.

At the end it has left the same weird taste in my mouth as the 2D Metroids, especially the modern ones. It's too concerned about keeping alive the SNES era tropes to feel right, and it doesn't even do those tropes all that well.

I shouldn't be too harsh on it as it's still quite a feat, but I can't stand games which start really well and turn into exactly this.

Rating: Well 10/10 duh, it's a Nintendo title and I'd get exiled to the Sun if I gave it anything less. So I would never give it something like 7/10, not like it gets boring and annoying after a while, of course not!

==========

Dead'n'Furious (DS)

With a lot of these DS shooters, especially the likes of CoD, I kept thinking - why won't they just make a rail shooter? Most don't have much more gameplay anyway, the turret sections tend to be the best, and the genre seem well fitted for the DS.

So here's something to test this theory: The railest-gunnest-shooterest rail shooter of 'em all, because this is a zombie game. A match made in heaven, really. You're some semi-anonymous convict who has to get through hordes of zombies when the prison (and everything around it) gets overrun by zombies. A couple cinematics flesh out the....ehm, "story".

It's as basic as it gets, but we really don't expect much from this genre, I think. You have 3 firearms and a crowbar, with which you tap and slash the screen, and you reload by sliding the magazine to the ammo slot. Makes sense. Other than that, it's about some cool environments as a setting, and then just about blasting zombies.

The environments are... Fine. I was somewhat worried it will all be only the prison, but you'll get through a bunch of different areas, so there's even some alluded background story to it. Some exteriors are particularly nice and substantially creepy. The world isn't all that vast though, so you'll spend a lot of time just turning around a lot in every room.

And zombies are just fine as well. They shuffle and ruffle towards you, and as you shoot them, they stumble and rumble and their bits fall off, like good zombies do. Some other critters like bats and rats are there as targets as well, and a few cool bosses show up too.

I've not played a lot of lightgun games so I don't know how this one fares in comparison. But I like how it flows. You're railroaded on a path, but you keep looking about, turning around, and occasionally can choose between two ways. It's funny - while with CoD I was wishing to just have my character put on a rail, here I sorta want to grab the controls and move my character myself. So I'd say that makes it pretty good.

If you're mad enough to read my past reviews, you may know I'm quite a filthy casual who runs away from most gaming challenges. And so I can't begin to try to imagine to fathom the concept of thinking about finishing this game without cheats. I couldn't get past the first couple levels. After enabling infinite health and eventually no reloading (because I couldn't even finish a time sensitive mission without that), I can only conclude the game is made for superhumans, or teenagers.

Well, I suppose you can spend dozens of hours trying to polish your moves and timing to millisecond perfection, or two hours playing through with cheats. Anyway, blasting zombies like this is pretty fun, and I don't even like zombie media otherwise.

Rating: 5/10 I guess? More fun and more competent than most of these shooter things, but doesn't offer all that much.

==========

GoldenEye 007 (DS)

(The 2010 remake, not to be confused with the 2005 game GoldenEye Rogue Agent.)

I've tried the N64 GoldenEye a few months ago, and well, it's so quaint, it's adorable. It's very obvious the team was just learning the ropes of first person shooters - that's understandable since these were still fairly early days, for consoles at least. Still, GoldenEye feels more like a Bond mod for Quake than a real game to me.

Then 8 years later, Rogue Agent for the DS was a very oddball throwback that, in return, felt like a Bond mod for Duke Nukem 3D. But due to all the maddening hype surrounding the OG GE, a remake of the original was inevitable... So here it is. The DS version.

The game seems to loosely follow the main beats of the N64 game. In practice, that means it looks roughly like an N64 game, runs like shit and the levels are bland, boring and not making any logical sense. Where the N64 maps were large, empty but rather free-roam-ish, here they're small, paper-thin linear affairs, where you follow a marker all the way and can't stray more than a centimetre off the path. Well, I guess that's what a modern recreation means today.

But no worries, the remake introduces more modern features. Such as sprinting, without which Bond walks at the pace of morning traffic. And also ironsight aiming, without which he can't hit the wide side of a barn. There are the annoying little animations for things like takedowns or using the phone, forced scripted movement, and simply every other trope of a subpar 2010's COD-wannabe. Except, this is the DS, so instead of at least offering some spectacle, it just feels sad.

Just like COD:MWM, the devs were trying to imitate the full console versions of the Bond games. And again this failed miserably. It's the most on rails, dumbed down and lifeless FPS I've ever played and again I have to wonder why not just make a lightgun/QTE game instead. Heck, even the usual "minigames" to open doors and such are replaced with the blandest gestures. At one point you need to close the DS to do a thing, but the game takes about 6 screens of text to explain it. That's how dumb it thinks the player is.

If you ask me what does work in the game, I honestly draw a blank. I guess so many shitty stealth levels can better accommodate the shitty framerate than shitty shooter sections? How's that for a positive. I guess the music is kinda decent? But I'm not giving it credit, as it's just basic Bond themes probably taken from the full console games anyway.

So it's combining the outdated simplicity of the N64 original with the annoying mechanics of COD, without the excitement of either, and finishing it off with the worst framerate I've seen yet. Oh, let's not forget other details like horrible voice acting or stupid animations. It has everything a proper shovelware should.

I wish this game was only an hour long like Rogue Agent, because I somehow had to continue watching this train wreck. It kept surprising me with new lows, and I just half-expected the game to spontaneously combust at some stage.

But even I have my limits. I can't go on with this one. Maybe it's not the worst kind of a lifeless, nostalgia trip, shitty corporate cash grab tie-in ever, but never mind it totally is. What a colossal waste of good bytes. They really should've just ported the N64 game.

Rating: 1/10 - it's close to being The Room of DS games, except it's not funny.

==========

Older reviews:

I. Moon, COD4, C.O.R.E., Ironfall: 3DS community - Patient gamers

II. Chibi Robo, MechAssault, Bionicle: 3DS community - Patient gamers

III. Brothers in Arms, GoldenEye Rogue Agent, COD:MWM: 3DS community - Patient gamers

cross-posted from: https://midwest.social/post/2310989

It’s a great game and I’m so glad I finally got to play it.

I’m running a RTX 2070 Super and a Ryzen 5 3600 with 32 gigs of RAM. Using Xenia-Canary I could run the game at 1080p with decent framerate, but that caused some really unpleasant brightness issues at night, so I stuck with 720p and honestly stopped noticing the low resolution after a while. The game ran at a stable 60 all the way to the end and I encountered absolutely no issues besides some flickering shadows once or twice.

If you have a decent gaming PC and have never played the original RDR I strongly recommend you try this. It can be a bit of a faff to find what emulator settings work for you, but once you get it working properly, it’s an absolute blast. RDR still holds up really well in my opinion.

What do you guys use? I personally like Glitchwave for it's powerful chart building and the user reviews as a whole tend to align with my own.

Backloggd also pretty cool but a little more limited to use, and harder to dig up the old old stuff as its algorithms strongly favor newer.

Anyone else use these or have recommendations of their own?