Am I the Asshole?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Then-Pear6930 on 2025-04-06 18:24:08.

Hi Reddit, English isn’t my first language, but I’ll try my best.

My mom (59F) and I (27F) have been “living together” for the past 10 months. I say “living together” because I’m only home 2–3 days a week—I usually stay at work or with my boyfriend.

She moved with me to Europe from Latin America. It was hard for her to adjust at first, but she’s active and has built a little community here. She’s retired and brought some savings to live and travel, and when she moved in, I started covering rent and bills. I’m lucky to have a good job and was okay with supporting her.

We don’t have the best relationship. I felt free for the first time when I moved out at 20. But I still wanted to be there for her.

We share my room (I have roommates), and she’s been living with me while we handled some long paperwork processes. Now she’s going back to our home country, so I planned a surprise Apericena (small dinner party) at a restaurant with family and friends.

The idea was to tell her we were going shopping so she wouldn’t suspect anything. I was getting ready and, to be fair, I can be messy when picking an outfit—I lay clothes everywhere. I eventually picked something, did my makeup, and suggested we leave early to take pictures at the park since the flowers are blooming.

Suddenly she said we couldn’t leave because I had to clean up. I told her I’d do it when we got back, but she insisted: “You always say that and never do it. You’re arrogant and disrespectful. I can’t talk to you.”

I offered to clean right then, but she kept going, calling me stuck-up—maybe just because I was dressed nicely? It hurt. A lot. I started crying. It brought back bad memories from how she treated me growing up. I called my boyfriend and cousin because I was so upset.

Then I told her: “You have no right to talk to me like that. I never disrespect you. That ‘stuck-up’ daughter of yours planned something really nice for you today. And now you’re making me feel ashamed when I’ve spent so much time and money.”

She responded: “I’m not going.”

I was furious. I canceled everything. Fifteen minutes later, she came back and said, “Let’s go.” But I was emotionally done. I told her, “No. It’s canceled,” and left to see my boyfriend.

It’s been a day. We’re not talking. I’ve gotten mixed opinions. Part of me feels guilty—this was supposed to be a good memory for both of us. But I also feel really hurt.

So… AITA for canceling the dinner?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Remarkable-Horse-822 on 2025-04-06 17:51:33.

So I (28 F) and my husband (33M) are expecting our first baby. With that I'm the first on my side of the family, so 1st grandkid and first great-grandchild, which is kinda special.

Today my mom told me that, for my grandma's 85th birthday dinner, she wanted to look for a restaurant very close to my home (max 10 min. By car). My grandparents live over 1.5 hour away (I know its not far for most Americans, but where I live it is considered far away.)

Now here is the deal. I'm expected to deliver my baby a month before the date of the birthdaydinner. But I dont know for sure when I will deliver. Especially with a first, I see a lot of people going 'till 41+ weeks. And in that case I wouldn't even be a month postpartum.

I do not feel ready to go out at that time postpartum because I will still be adjusting to becoming a parent, my breastfeeding will still be very very frequent and maybe not going easy, and most importantly my baby will not be vaccinated yet and her immunesystem will not be on point yet.

I told my mom that it being close by is a very nice suggestion but also explained all the above and told her I don't think I'll be ready for that yet by the time the birthdaydinner will role around. I said that I hope that she'll understand and that the rest of the family will aswell and not be mad at me for setting that boundary (they have been notorious for complaining about stuff like having to drive a little further whilst normally I'd make the drive, f.e they haven't come to visit me yet, whilst I live in this house for 3 years, just because it's too far)

My mom thinks I'm being unreasonable because 'back in the day this was the norm' and 'she also did those things with me, and I turned out fine.'

So am I being unreasonable? Am I the A**hole?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Own_Baby5269 on 2025-04-06 15:55:31.

I (34F) have been married to my husband (37M) for 8 years and have 3 children (6,4, and 1). I had a cousins baby shower on the same weekend my son was going to an overnight camp. I knew it would be hard on my husband to get him to the camp with the three children so I arranged childcare for the youngest. I also got everything packed and put out for him for the camp. I left at 10am and the kids had ball hockey at 11:30-12:30 and then had to be at the camp for 6:30. The rest of the day he had nothing else to do. I asked him to give the kids a bath after ball hockey because they got muddy. At 3:30 I left the baby shower and let him know I would be back at 5:20 and to meet me at my parents at that time (closer to the camp location). At 5:15 I text him and he said the kids were still getting dressed so I instead had to get my mom to drive me back to the house. At this point it's already after 5:30 and the kids are just getting outside with soaking wet hair. He said he put the kids in the bath a long time ago but "couldn't" get them out. I exploded on him because how could he not get them out as the parent? On the way there, already late, I ask where his scout necker is (which was a requirement for identification) and he says he forgot it even though I set it out with all the stuff he was supposed to wear. He says he didn't know he wore one even though he takes him to scouts every week. Then we get there and he also forgot to bring my son's jacket or even a sweater (we are in Ontario and it's still cold here). I was so upset I didn't talk to him the whole way home. He says I'm an asshole for exploding on him and ruining our night. He says he does way more than most fathers. I am just sick and tired of having to manage everything. Planning and packing every single thing and he is still late and things get forgotten. I asked what he did all day and he said he "cleaned" and "tried to install a light in my sons room" but the light is sitting in the exact same spot as when I left and the house was a total mess when I got home so I'm not sure what he did that whole time. I'm just tired of everything falling on me and still things like this happening. So Reddit, AITA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Character-Wasabi4195 on 2025-04-06 14:14:33.

I (45 female) recently was eating dinner with a good friend and former neighbor who moved away 6 months ago. We had been there for approximately 20-25 minutes. We were talking and laughing and being pretty quiet for a noisy restaurant since we both do a kind of “silent laugh” - one of the things we have in common. We were just served when the man (older guy about 65 maybe) sitting at the table next to us had finished his meal. He was waiting for his check and looking at his cell phone. When all of the sudden, he started making sucking noises (like my grandparents used to, to clean their teeth) and then he snorted. And it wasn’t just one snort, it was multiple and deep each time. It literally echoed off the walls. Now the first time, I let it go and didn’t say anything but had to fight gagging. I happen to have an extremely sensitive gag reflex. And sounds like that can get me started. Meaning up to starting to vomit. Not only that if I make my way to the bathroom it is like my brain says “ok let loose” and I always loose it. So I stopped talking, turned my head and did breathing exercises to try to not go down that rabbit hole. I just got “cleared” and we were chatting and eating again when he did it again. 🤢 So again the same process. But this time I gave him a “look”. Because I am not his mom and he is old enough to know manners (whether he knows them or not… well obviously not). He clearly didn’t care or didn’t understand why I gave him an angry grin. 😠 Not too long after that he did it again! And if it happened a 4th time I would not make it to the bathroom. And not only that he was ruining my meal. So after getting myself through plugging my ears and humming I asked him to please stop snorting.

He looked at me and said, “mind your own business little lady. I am enjoying my meal like everyone else here.” I replied with, “well if you do it again I will puke and make sure I do it on you.” He looked really angry and I instantly felt like a teenager being a brat for that reply. I almost said sorry when he got his check. He signed it and left. I had to take breaks because I had waves of feeling like I was going to start gagging. I did make it through but almost lost it when I got outside on the walk to my car. I was raised to be polite despite the situation and I normally am but I almost ruined dinner for everyone had I not been able to calm that reflex. That “little lady” comment had me seeing red! Needless to say, not my most mature moment. AITA for chastising him? Or should I have tried to make it to the bathroom knowing I wouldn’t have made it?

Edit:

1. I am aware of misophonia. The volume of these snorts was quite literally reverberating off the walls, and my friend agreed it was way over the top and offensive for a restaurant. So it’s not just me, and not misophonia. The teeth sucking.. was more in line with an annoying noise.

2. The request was calm and though I didn’t quote it, I was calm and polite and asked please.

3. Several have posted “he could have health issues” to which if he had done it while he was eating, I would have just paid for my drinks and left! Some people have “ticks” that they can’t help like clicking or Tourette’s. This was not a “tick”. It was after he was done eating and seemed to be part of a “post meal ritual” that I truly believe someone has point out to him in the past given his reply.

4. I see that I was wrong in threatening to puke on him. I was so irritated about the “little lady” comment. 🥺. Again not my finest moment. But I shouldn’t have to leave because of someone else being so offensive and lacking etiquette that their actions are literally reverberating through the room.

5. I didn’t know if he had ordered dessert… so I didn’t know how long we all had to listen to this cacophony, when I asked him. He hadn’t received the check yet.

6. My gag reflex, though sensitive, has NEVER been challenged like this in a restaurant. Never once. So it’s not so sensitive that I shouldn’t expose myself to the possibility of noises in public. I do have methods to calm it. This was excessive and in all my life has never happened like this.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/PotatoPluto789 on 2025-04-06 14:05:18.

This happened a few months ago, but it still pops up in my head because it was a confusing situation and I'm unsure if I was in the wrong or not. My friend likes to cosplay and they like to go to cons, so for one of the events they said on their Insta story: "If I went with someone it would be [insert random character] probably. My projects ain't ready." I've gone with them to events before and have helped them carry stuff and props because I like supporting them in their hobby and cons/events can be fun, so I interpreted it as them saying they would go as a character if they had someone to go with, and my brain assumed they needed someone to carry their stuff so I replied to the story with: "I mean I dont got anything to do tomorrow..."

My friend said: "Would u like to tote around [insert location] and hit up both the [random place] and [other random place]?"

And I said yes and so we made plans, and the day of, I was driven to their place because I don't have a car and the person driving me needed to go shopping nearby anyway so it worked out. Before my friend and I left their place, we were sitting in their car and they asked me to choose between two places and decide which we would go to. They told me they wanted to go to both but couldn't decide, and so I gave suggestions that we could go to both and gave pros and cons for both places to help them decide. 

To me it was very abrupt but maybe it was not, but out of nowhere my friend said to me that I had hijacked their day, and I was confused so I asked how I did. My friend said I had invited myself and that they before I had asked to hang out, they'd already had plans for that day with their other friends. I explained that I had thought their Insta story meant they needed someone to help them with stuff because they were choosing a character to go as, but they said that wasn't what their Insta story meant and that it meant that they had been wondering if they should go as a character to the event.

I apologized after they said I had hijacked their plans and offered to call the person who drove me to pick me up because they weren't far away and would be fine with coming back, but my friend said it was too late and so we left for the event, but I felt really bad and confused. I asked my friend if they were mad and they said no, and then said they weren't surprised I'd done something like that (I think they meant inviting myself to whatever they had planned to do) and I asked what they meant by that. My friend said that it was just something I'd do or implied that it was in my nature or character to do something like that, and I was confused by that and asked them to elaborate but they didn't say anything further. 

I ended up leaving the event early because I still felt bad and wasn't having fun because I felt like I was intruding kind of. AITA for accidentally inviting myself and hijacking her day?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/NoCryptographer2220 on 2025-04-06 12:27:30.

The title sounds silly ik.

I 18M am on vacation in Europe with my family and the from the start it was a disaster. My dad asked me to make the itinerary but he literally changed the entire first half of it without even asking me. He’s paying for everything so I didn’t mind that but I did tell him that the places he added would be boring and it’s not his type of cities which he ofc ignored. My step mum deliberately avoided taking part in any planning even when I tried to involve her. Fast forward, the first half of it went exactly as I warned my dad it would go. He went to a seafood restaurant for lunch and got mad that it was only seafood they served. Yelled at the waiter at dinner cuz his linguini had muscles on it. The whole time he was saying it was my fault for suggesting this country and city and my step mum was complaining every step of the way. Through out the whole trip they would point at literally anything and ask me what it is or what it’s made of and would reply smugly if I I say didn’t know by saying something like (well you should know) On day 3 we went to a local market when my SM pointed at a jar of some kind of nuts and asked me what they were. I replied idk I didn’t make the food. She lost it and started yelling at me about respect in the middle of the marked at which point I walked away. Later my dad said I was at the wrong for having attitude and when I said how they both have been blaming me for everything, they said they were just joking. My SM jumped in and said that my dad’s paying for everything so I should just shut up and do what they say and not have attitude.

I spoke with my mum about it and she just told me to just ignore them and enjoy it since it’s my birthday trip and since my dad depend around 20K on this trip that I should be grateful. AITA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/ObligationEasy1987 on 2025-04-06 02:28:42.

Me, 44M, work from home and am fortunate enough to earn enough for my wife, 43F, not need to work. I'd love it if she could find a job but it's not easy as we live in a foreign country and employment is tough. She hasn't worked for 10 years and has given up on looking for a job -- to be clear, I'm fine with that (honestly even proud that I can support us both).

I work 10-12hrs per day from home and I am the one cooking, going grocery shopping, taking out the trash and also participate in the house cleaning (mainly the vacuuming part). My wife handles the dish washing, laundry and feeding the pets. I don't want to sound chauvinistic but it's hard to ignore the time I need to invest in a week on work, cooking, shopping, etc, versus the time she puts in doing chores that basically rely on a machine doing the heavy lifting and/or take only a few minutes a day.

I'm finding it hard to even get "me" time for my hobbies and to unplug. I work from 9am to 7pm sometimes later, after which I start cooking, eat and then it's basically bed time. During the day if we need groceries, I use my lunch hour to dash to the supermarket and get whatever we need. I might get about 1-2h or potential me time but it's frustrating that time only comes at the tail end of the day right before bed when all my energy is gone.

Lately I've tried talking about it because I don't think this is fair; all I ask is that since she is not working that she cooks more, gets groceries now and again and helps me so I can also enjoy a proper weekend.

She says I "sound like Andrew Tate" or "like a toxic alpha male".

Mind you, I love cooking and I believe we should SHARE chores; I just don't feel like we are sharing. I feel like I do 70% of the work. I am not looking for sympathy, I'm looking to understand what others think about this situation as maybe I am wrong. In my mind, if I'm working this hard to support us, cooking, buying the food, etc, and she is basically only needing to load ad unload a dishwasher & a laundry machine, this is not balance. Her not working is not my fault and I've told her she doesn't need to work unless she wants to but at the same time, if she decided not to work and not even look for a job, I believe she should reciprocate through support (physical and emotional).

TL;DR: My wife has not worked or looked for a job for the last 10 years. I work 10-12h and also cook, clean, buy groceries and take out the trash. My weekends don't feel like weekends and I'm getting tired so I've pushed back and asked for balance. We talked about it recently and wife hinted at my behaviour being toxic like Andrew Tate or whatever other figure heads that portray males as superior to females. I disagree, I just want a fair split of effort since this is taking its toll and I don't feel like I have enough time for myself and unwind.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/ecorado14 on 2025-04-06 12:40:22.

I host a monthly pool party/bbq for the neighborhood families. I buy about $200 in steaks, hot dogs, and drinks, book the community party room, and send out invites and reminders. It's become a great way for the adults to connect and catch up, while the kids swim and play.

One of the neighborhood boys doesn't behave appropriately - ie: splashes kids in the face when they ask him not to, pushes kids into the pool, calls them names, growls at kids if they win a game, doesn't follow the rules of games, and such. It's unpleasant for the other kids, and he makes the younger ones cry. His mom yells and threatens to take him home, but she doesn't, so he continues misbehaving. I'm not well-informed on autism, however, my stance is that the parents are responsible for ensuring their kids behave appropriately or removing them. Instead, other parents have to get involved to yell at the kid to leave theirs alone or comfort their crying kid.

After the last party, two of the kids asked me not to invite that boy again because he ruined the day for them. I agree with them and believe that as part of my responsibility of hosting is to create a guest list of people who add positively to the event.

My husband disagrees because 1) he thinks I should first bring up the issue to the boy's parents and give him one more chance, 2) we can't actually "exclude" them since it's a community pool, and 3) he's just conflict-avoidant and doesn't want to ruin relations with neighbors.

What do you think, would I be the asshole?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/SharkInHumanSkin on 2025-04-06 10:51:56.

Background: To say my ex and I are contentious would be an understatement. He sends me slews of insults and I’ve taken to using chatgpt to scrub my messages of anything he can use to pick a fight. We have a 12 year old together. Months ago I let him know 12yo had a competition this weekend because I had to trade weekends for it. I am also the coach. Funny side story my child tried out for my team without me knowing until I showed up. The last time he talked to me about this competition he said “you just put 12yo on your team because you’re trying to compensate for being a shit mom.” So yeah contention.

On to the story:

Comp is this weekend and last month it was moved to Exs town 4 hours away from us. We take the bus up, stay in a hotel for 2 nights and head back Sunday.

Against my better judgement I invited my ex to the competition despite the fact he was clear about how he feels. He wasn’t able to come because I didn’t give him enough notice but he didn’t insult me he just asked me to invite him earlier next time. I apologized because I thought that was fair. I could have told him earlier that the location had changed. But honestly I avoid talking to him as much as possible.

Yesterday he asked if he could meet us at the hotel. I explained that we are really only in the hotel to sleep and we’d be leaving at 8 am. I again apologized for the short notice and said I’d do better next time.

He asked for our itinerary and I sent sundays travel schedule. 7am breakfast at the hotel. 8am we leave. There are some bathroom breaks on the schedule and a stop for lunch 2+hours away b it nothing that allows visiting.

His response was to ask me why I didn’t share my itinerary with him when I invited him on Wednesday.

I apologized again and said that since he said he couldn’t see 12yo this weekend I assumed it wasn’t relevant and since there is t really any extra time, I didn’t think it would matter. I left off that it’s my weekend and I’m not obligated to invite him and that he sees child regularly so it’s not like he can’t see 12yo until summer or something. Plus I’m trying to extend the olive branch here but to say he’s hostile would be an understatement.

He pushed again asking why I hadn’t shared it. I simply apologized again because I’d already answered.

“I expect you Do better next time.” Is what he said to me.

I’m … I don’t know. Kind of feeling annoyed at how he’s acting entitled to my time after being so unbelievably rude to me (calling me a “shit mom” for involving child on my team) but also I could have shared it with him I guess. I just don’t see why I would. Besides the competition itself there’s not really any time in the schedule that isn’t spent with the team.

Even my own husband who traveled down to watch has seen me for a total of 30 minutes during the competition.

So AITA? Should I have shared the itinerary on Wednesday?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/No_Watercress8348 on 2025-04-06 10:46:39.

So 3 weeks or so ago my husband was talking about his diet & I mentioned about how he should have more fibre in it and he was like ‘how do I get more fibre’ and mentally I thought we both have access to google but I didn’t want to be rude so I replied with the answer(s) and he goes ‘you wouldn’t make meals like that for me would you’ and I responded ‘I’m your wife not your mother’. He said it was an extremely rude thing to say and hasn’t spoken to me in 3+ weeks. For context we have 3 children and he is only here for a day and a half a week as he works away so he would have expected me to bulk cook on the weekend for him to take with him. My response wasn’t meant maliciously and I haven’t apologised because I genuinely meant it, we have been together for 15 years & it genuinely made me feel so resentful, the way he said it and the expression was puppy doggish and it made me feel like he was manipulating me - he can never be bothered to research or implement for his health even though he’s a highly intelligent and capable man. I guess I feel frustrated he will pour everything into work (15 hour days etc) but on the home front, the boring day to day it’s all on me. This isn’t the first time he’s ’gone silent’ but I usually always make good or apologise and this time I haven’t. It’s just so awkward and the longer it goes on the more resentful I feel over it - he’s pretty much my only solid adult interaction in person, both physically and mentally and I feel super alone but also sorry for him because he must really be a sad and cruel person to inflict this on another person. Writing this has made me realise just how deeply unhappy I am with him LOL, but anyway, AITA?

Edited to add - he is on a salary & very high up in his company - he earns the same for a 40 or 80h work week, he is not paid by the hour and overtime isn’t a ‘thing’ for the role he has - he isn’t being forced to stay there by anyone but himself.

I WFH 6-8h days on the weekdays and a couple of hours across weekend days.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/ComprehensiveType926 on 2025-04-06 10:40:32.

So, I was on a train (it was a 4 hour ride). I took my seat and put my bag in the dedicated space. In front of me there was a girl who had not put theirs, but instead had it on the floor, in the space between me and her. The thing is, that space is not that big and none of us could stretch their legs. After an hour or so I started to feel some pain in my legs and decided to try to stretch them, and accidentally touched the girl’s bag a few times. Note that I couldn’t stretch them sideways because there were people both next to me and her. She didn’t say anything then, but at the end of the ride, she told me that I was deliberately kicking and dirtying her bag. Was I the asshole in this situation? Like, I could have tried to move a bit but I didn’t want to bother the passengers next to us, but at the same time she could have placed her bag in the designated place and not on the floor.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Traditional_Cap_9958 on 2025-04-06 07:59:51.

My (19m) gf (19f) has cancer. She's been really sensitive to the chemo and her meds so she is really weak, but sometimes she's also sore so she hasn't been sleeping much. This has been a big issue for her as it just makes the chemo and recovery worse. She had a chemo session on Friday early in the morning and she came over to my place so we could hang out and I could take care of her.

She ended up passing out on me and before she fell asleep was telling me about how she was feeling bad overall. I was happy she was resting and didn't want to wake her up. My sister (16f) was on her period She texted me to ger her some water

Our other sister (14f) was at the store and would be home in like 5 minutes. Because my gf was asleep on me I didn't want to wake her up I told her to wait. She said she didn't want to wait and told me to ger her water. I told her no, and explained that my gf was asleep and that I wasn't going to wake her up. We went back and forth untill my sister called me a lazy fucking bitch. I told her that I wasn't going to wake her up to get fucking water, I'm going to care for my gf. She then said that she didn't care abt my stupid gf. I told her to fuck off, and I called her a bitch. (that was all over text btw) She told me I was a dick, and has ignored me any time I've tried speaking to her and I talked about this with our other sister who says I over-reacted and that I should apologize and that I should have just gotten her water. I'm starting to feel that I over-reacted and I also believe that maybe I should have gotten her the water,

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/ProfilePatient3311 on 2025-04-06 01:33:48.

Im a mom of a toddler. Since being a mom, it’s kind of difficult for me to deal with more than just my child right now due to my mental health state (super stressed from being in school, working full time and being a single mom).

All of my siblings have had their children before me and I watched them basically my whole childhood/teen years (I’m the youngest).

My sibling recently had a second child and has been complaining about me not offering to watch them. It’s nothing personal, I just don’t have the mental capacity. They had an even they wanted to attend, and have been hinting all week that they really needed a babysitter for the new baby. So, I tried to be nice and I said okay, I’ll watch the new baby but I can’t watch the older one as well. Two kids (including my child) are already pushing it and a third I just know I wouldn’t be able to handle it.

It’s time for me to baby sit and they come with both kids. And say that the older one will be getting picked up and left for the event. When they left, the older one informed me no one is actually coming to get them.

AITA for telling my sibling I don’t want to babysit again?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/YoursTrulyMIA on 2025-04-06 01:33:43.

They just got married and always fight. She berates him publicly regularly and he tells me she yells a lot at home. He's considering having kids because she is in her mid 30's, but I think that it would be a terrible idea. I told him that if he brings kids into the world only for them to hear a bunch of yelling at home all the time, it would be a selfish decision and not one with his kids' interests at heart. He got mad at me and told me I'm wrong.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/-TheWillowTree- on 2025-04-06 00:30:13.

So like the title says I (19f) was left at home while my sister (30f) and her kid (7f) went to a family reunion we were all supposed to go to. I had been told we were leaving at 5 after my sister got off work. I had all of my things with me and ready to go by 3 as I know she occasionally gets off early. At 3:30 she had gotten off early and called for her kid and I just assumed she was getting her ready as I was in the bathroom and she had specifically only called for her daughter. When I got out of the bathroom everyone had already gone and I was left alone in a house with no food. I called my sister and asked if they had seriously just left and she told me yes because she told me to be ready by the time she was home. I got kind of upset at her implication me peeing was being unprepared and I raised my voice at her for leaving without even checking if I was actually ready so AITA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Key_Wrongdoer2330 on 2025-04-06 00:02:31.

I f (22) was friends w this guy (25, brain fully developed btw). He was telling me about his work crush and he said “she has the perfect body and her face isn’t that bad”. I work with him so i know he has never spoken to this girl. This girl two days later becomes friends w me and I find out she has a bf. So I tell my friend cause I thought it would save him the embarrassment of trying to ask out a taken woman. Then he texts me and says he’s really disappointed and wished he didn’t tell me he had a crush on her. because he didn’t want to know she had a bf. He had told me he was going to ask her out, so he would’ve found out eventually anyway. And this makes me upset cause why are you so upset when you never spoke to this girl and we’ve only worked with her for 3 days. She also rarely talks at work so it’s not like he could like her personality from that. And now i’m friends with her and I actually like her a lot so it makes me even more upset that he would depersonalize her like that. I responded “you don’t know her, how could you ever care” I then realized that was a bit mean so i was like “it’s ok, i’m sure you’ll find someone eventually”. He proceeds to ignore me for two days so i txt him and ask if we were still on for hanging out tomorrow since we said we would before that text. He responds “no” so i tried to call him so we could talk and he declines. I texted him and he told me he was upset because of the comment. I explained that, as he knows since I have told him, i have been used for my body multiple times by men who don’t care about my personality. So when he made that comment about her body it upset me. He responded “Stop texting me” and i was confused and asked if he was serious?! he said “stop texting its bothering me”. And now I’m confused cause that feels like a crazy reaction in response to my text. I know it wasn’t nice but to stop being friends with me all together?!

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Legitimate_Fan_6282 on 2025-04-05 23:21:55.

Sorry for the long post. I (19M) am currently a full time college student and I live alone. My parents (39M and 41F) have been divorced since I was 7 so about 12 years now and it has truly been a miserable experience. Throughout the entirety of those 12 years, my parents live on opposite sides of the country and can't seem to have a normal conversation about anything. Worst part about this is that they like to throw me and my other siblings into the middle and get our viewpoints to see who they can win over but never actually listen to what we say and why getting thrown into this is annoying.

Fast forward a bit, I live by myself in another state away from both parents. Thankfully, I've been able to have a good relationship with both of them while I've been in school. That is until about a couple weeks ago, when my dad told me that he would be reopening their child support case for my brother since the amount needs to be rebalanced as it hasn't been changed since it was initially opened 12 years ago and I no longer a child that lives with her. My mom has been freaking out as for the past 12 years, my dad has been paying her nearly 2.5 times the court mandated amount because she said it wasn't enough and he wanted to make sure me and my siblings had everything we needed and some.

Well, my mom texted me asking me for all of my finance information as she would be using them in her case for court. I asked why it was necessary as I support myself and my college and she told me to just give it to her for her case. I then told her that if the court needed any of my information that they could just ask me directly to disclose whatever information was necessary to the case since my info isn't necessary to either of their cases. She blew up on me at this point telling me that I was being ridiculous and that she'll just "see me in court then if I want to act like a stupid bitch".

A little time went by of me not responding to that and she asked if i was ready to"stop with my attitude and act like an adult". I told her that was funny considering that she threw a tantrum when I wouldn't tell her my personal finances. I also explained to that I wouldn't be giving her this information but I want an apology for what she called me, but she told me that I only see things the way I want to and I'm being selfish for not giving her the information. I kinda lost it at this point and told her "Wow my mom still not listening to what I'm trying to tell her. Fork found in kitchen". She got really mad and has been texting me nonstop on how disrespectful I am and that I should know better than to talk to her that way.

I showed some of my friends the texts and they said that while she was being a jerk, that I was being just as big of one back. Honestly, saying it felt wrong but I wanted to stand my ground against it. The mixture of their reactions and my guilt have been making me feel bad and should just give it to her, so AITA?

Edit: I should probably clarify something, before I moved away for school, I was living with my dad while my siblings lived with my mom. While I was still in high school, I was 100% a dependent of him, not her. That's why her asking for my info was so weird.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/LBuck1410 on 2025-04-05 22:55:10.

My gf (20f) and I (21m) have been together 4 years, and have been living together around 2 years. She had a part time job up until January or so, working 2-3 days per week, but she quit because she couldn't stand working there any longer. I on the other hand, work a full time job, and have a full time college schedule (though all the school is online, it still requires around 4 hours of work per week.) Anyways, I don't mind being "the provider," but I don't want some sort of trad wife who's only there to cook, clean, and look pretty. However, i feel as though if I'm putting in 40 hours a week in at work, and 4+ hours per week in to school, the least she could do is pick up around the house, (laundry, dishes, etc). I go to work 9-5, then we go to the gym, and then i come home and cook for us. Every time i try to express that our effort feels one sided, she says that I'm being unfair and that "she shouldn't be the only one doing things around the house," which i agree with to an extent. But she does nothing worthwhile while I'm at work. She'll sleep, lay in bed on her phone, or play video games. I just don't know how to work something out. Her friends also take her side and say it's unfair for me to ask her to clean, but I really don't understand how that's unreasonable to ask. Came here to rant more than anything, but AITA??

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/jaydogg4 on 2025-04-06 07:20:33.

Please read everything before giving your opinion. So I 20 (m) was attending college and one of the scholarships I received was renewable every year. Scholarships are usually split in half to have funds each semester (Fall and Spring). Keep that in mind. So I only had one semester of college left so I wasn't expecting the full amount of funds I usually got on my scholarship contract cause I was only gonna be there for one semester. Then I received the contract and it was the full amount and the contract stated that all the money was for that singular semester. So I signed the contract that was sent and notified my college to expect the funds So the school year starts and everything was fine, the school was just waiting for the funds. I then received an email from a woman at the organization (don't know her age) stating that she made a mistake and sent the wrong amount I was supposed to receive in my contract cause the amount she sent was meant for a full year and I was only gonna be in school for one semester. She then proceeded to tell me she was gonna null that contract, there was basically no negotiating, and she'd send me another contract with a different and way small amount. And she furtherly told me to tell the college that it was a mistake and I wasn't getting that amount. I was stressed out cause I really needed that money to finish off college comfortably (I had never taken out a loan for college). So I talked to my family and mentors at my college about the situation. When I contacted my schools financial aid department to tell them what happened, I was told that since I signed a contract that I should threaten legal action if I didn't receive the full amount. So I took there advice and politely told the lady that per the advice of my school's financial aid office, I would be seeking legal action if the contract wasn't honored. She emailed back quick and said they'd honor it. I got the money. Then a couple weeks later, the boss of the organization (don't know her age) emailed me to basically repremand me for threatening legal action. She stated that they do there best to support their students and I should really think before threatening legal action on someone who tried to help me. So I responded telling her the full story cause I figured the lady who initially emailed me didn't tell her boss the full story. I also told her that it's not my fault they made a mistake and I was taking advice from my college financial aid department. I never heard from them again. AITA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Slyfox21- on 2025-04-06 07:09:21.

So i (16f) have been friends with this girl (16f) lets call her R for about 6 years now and trough those years we have had good and bad times but i always tought she saw me as a friend. Well last week when i was in class with her and my other friends one of my friends kept asking me about my past (I had an ED) and i didnt really wanna go into detail about it infront of everyone and i told them all id talk about it later. R got really upset cause of this and said to me loudly "Why dont you tell us anything anymore how can we be besties if you dont tell me everything" i was shocked beacouse i really do tell them everything so i told her that its kinda personal and i didnt really want to tell it now. After that she got mad and didnt talk to me for the rest of the week.

So after a bit of time i asked a mutual friend if she has noticed the same and she told me she had and how R had been acting weird towards me all week. So turns out she had been talking behind my back and basically makeing fun of me to my friends.

So then i remembered i had given her a Pandora piece for christmas and it was really expencive (abt 50€) so i decided to take it back. So when we has a sleepover i took the piece from the bracelet and slid it into my bag and then i left in the morning.

For a few days after she acted really cold to me and then i got a message from one of her friends basically saying "Hi would you kindly give back the piece you stole from x persom". I was confused cause i dont even know this person so i go back and forth with her me denieing takeing the piece and her saying how expencive the piece is (No shit i bought it) and how i am weird and most likely took it. After a bit of this she stop answering so I tought it was over. The next day tho i saw R reading the messages i had sent to her friend.

So now im just wondering AITA cause i guess it was a gift for her and it seems she liked it but again im here asking reddit.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Old-Audience3410 on 2025-04-06 06:54:59.

I live in France now, but I’m originally from Canada. My whole family is still there, so I only see them once or twice a year, usually for just a few weeks. I love them a lot and really look forward to these visits.

In a few months, they’re planning to come see me. The idea was to rent a car and travel around France for two weeks — my mom, dad, me, and my girlfriend. My parents know her well and like her, and it’s always been fine.

Enter my sister. I love her, but her boyfriend is obnoxious as hell. They’re very on-and-off, and he and I don’t get along. He doesn’t seem to care much for me either.

My sister tends to make plans last minute, and she asked to join our trip. Of course, we said yes — she’s family. We adjusted our stays to add a third room. The car fits five, right?

I started getting excited. I’ve been planning around work, making sacrifices to get time off, and really looking forward to connecting with my family. Then, on the phone with my mom, she drops the bomb: my sister’s boyfriend is coming too. My mom had said yes without talking to me.

This isn’t the first time. On a past trip to Canada, the exact same thing happened — same group, same boyfriend. My sister asked last minute, my mom booked them a hotel room, and I wasn’t consulted. I tried to be the bigger person and gave him a chance. But honestly, I was uncomfortable the whole time but I was polite, didn’t complain.

Now it’s happening again, and I feel blindsided. My mom knows I don’t feel comfortable traveling with him. I think it was wrong for her to say yes without asking me. I get that it seems like a double standard because I’m bringing my girlfriend — but this trip was meant to be about my family, and I’ve really been looking forward to it. My parents aren’t huge fans of him either, but they’re trying to be fair.

When I brought it up, my mom said she can’t say no to my sister — she doesn’t want to be in that position. So now it falls to me to talk to her.

Am I an asshole for telling my sister I don’t want her boyfriend to come? I know this isn't retrospective per usual — but I’m genuinely lost. I don’t want to hurt my sister or damage our relationship, but I also don’t think I can do two weeks with this guy, especially not while feeling like I have to tiptoe around just to keep the peace.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/DoubleCartoonist2724 on 2025-04-06 06:45:20.

We were both drinking. He jokingly, lightly bit my face close to my eye. I reacted by smacking him in the face.

I apologized, said it was a knee jerk reaction to being bit. But he's still really upset. I understand that I hit him and that is not okay and I apologized. But he is still very upset.

He's always been annoyingly physical while drinking and I've always asked how he will feel if I start to flinch from his touch. Instead of flinching I slapped.

How would you feel? How should I feel? Right now it's guilty like no other. Like I'm an abusive partner. But at the same time my action was in response to his action.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwawaydontunderst on 2025-04-06 06:44:53.

I (16M) was the product of what is pretty much a friend with benefits type relationship between my dad (at the time 33) and my mom (at the time 22.) My mom didn't want to be a mom. Yet my dad didn't want my mom to abort. From what little I have been told there was an agreement. My mom would leave, my dad would raise me on his own but if she wanted to, she could come back into my life whenever.

The first 7 years of my life were just my dad and I. He didn't date any other woman; it was just us two and his family. I remember my mom would send me gifts on my Birthday and Christmas with letters attached. I remember members of her family doing the same. When I turned 7, my mom came back. I started spending time with her. She would take me to parks, zoos, and aquariums etc. I also met her family. I loved this, although I now know my dad didn't like the fact that my mom randomly showed up out of nowhere wanting to spend time with me, although he did soften up to it over time. I still have contact with my mom. I don't see her as often as before. But I still love her and see her as much as possible.

There was no conflict due to this situation at all until when I was 14, my dad met a new woman. I will call "A" for this. A and my dad started dating when I was 14, married when I was 15. A brought her twins (15M for both) from her previous relationship into her marriage with my dad. I have a good relationship with both my stepbrothers. I have a decent relationship with A but 2 things always bugged me. 1. How my dad seemed to rush into marrying A (he proposed to her 3 months into their relationship.) 2. A wanted me to call her mom literally the day I met her. She had two reasons for this. 1. I don't have a mom, and I need one. 2. She wants our family to be more united. I always just shrugged this off. I got away with it because when my dad married A it's like he forgot about me completely and didn't care about me. I also felt like it wasn't my place to complain.

That's the context of all of this. We're a year into Dad and A's marriage. A's birthday is coming up. All of us bought her a gift but she says she doesn't like physical ones and also said she wants a more "verbal gift" from me. Last night at dinner I learned what this was. She asked me if I say yes to letting her adopt me so she could be my mom. Of course it caught me off guard. I said no, I already have a mom. A doesn't like the fact I talk to my actual mom still, and she said that she's my mom because she's at home with me every day and is married to my dad. Then called my actual mom a part timer in my life. I told her no, I'm sorry I can't her son but even if my actual mom is a part timer she was there for me a long time before she was. I received an angry scolding for this from both my dad and A. A specifically has been cold towards me since then. I'm struggling to comprehend this, and need to ask anonymously if I was in the wrong here?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Kelle0810 on 2025-04-06 06:40:35.

Obs, this story will have fake name (sorry for my English, im from Sweden)

Hey, sorry for the bad Writing, i just really need to know if i did wrong. Me (16M) and my girlfriend/gf (16f) have been together for about over 3 years. We have had out ups and down but we are still happy, that was until Friday (posting this on a Saturday). My girlfriend wrote to me telling me that she and a friend are thinking about getting a tattoo Machine, and she wanted to tattoo the first letter of my name tattood on her ankel. I told her that i didnt want her to get a tattoo when she is this age. I did also say that she is the one to decide, cause is her body her choice, but still, i didnt want her to get it tattood on her at this age.

She got really sad, and here is where i might have been the ass hole up. I asked her, what if we broke up in the future, and she got really sad about that. She said that she has had Nightmares now becouse of me, and I feel terrible.

But the thing is that me and her might need to break up. I might need to move in 2 years, to continue studying, and she cant even handel the thought of me moving, so long distance would be possible. Thats Why i dont want her to get a permanent stamp on her leg.

So reddit, AITA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/n0t-reallyAThrowaway on 2025-04-06 06:23:42.

I (18 they/it) am non-binary, and pretty much everyone in my family knows, except for my dad and grandparents (on my dad’s side).

My dad is an entirely separate story, but the reason for me not coming out to my grandparents is that they are both declining in health, and by the time I’d realized my identity, we were all pretty sure they’d be dead before I reached adulthood. I didn’t want them to feel worried about accidentally misgendering me or deadnaming me (they wouldn’t do it on purpose so that’s not a concern) in their last years, so I’ve held off from telling them. However they’ve lasted much longer than we all initially expected, as morbid as it sounds, and I feel bad every time they come up in conversation for keeping them in the dark about this.

My aunt (dads side) and my older sister know about my reason for not telling them, and their reaction was basically the same once I told them the reason: “they wouldn’t be bothered by it, they love you and want you to be comfortable”.

My aunt’s and Older sister’s reaction has made me feel like I’m being not only a bit silly for worrying, but a bit mean for gatekeeping this information from them.

But on the other hand, I’d feel even meaner telling them NOW, because of how long I’ve been out to everyone else! I worry that I’d make grandpa feel like I didn’t trust him or was scared of him. And because I’ve waited so long my grandma’s memory has declined too, and I know memory loss can be hard, and I don’t want to add more stress to her life by adding another new thing to remember.

No matter how I go about this, I feel like an asshole, so what do you guys think?