Am I the Asshole?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/PreparationHefty2069 on 2025-07-02 02:24:34.

For context We both already have kids (33F, 30M) Recently married We both had our first set of kids in our teens and early 20s. This will be our first child in common.

Our relationship is really good.

But We don’t want to tell our families that we’re trying to conceive (ttc). We want to enjoy the process and special moments with each other.

Being that we were both so young with our first kids, family was heavily involved. Now…we both want to experience this more isolated. Not just the TTC part, but also the pregnancy and birth.

I know that our parents are going to be highly offended but tbh there’s a reason we were both teen parents, we had absolutely no guidance and tbh when you’re dealing with addict parents it’s like you’re the one raising your mom/dad which grows you up quick.

How would you feel as the family member (let’s say you’re a close family member of some sort mom/dad/sibling)

Are we the assholes?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Witty-Barnacle5271 on 2025-07-02 02:24:30.

I’m wondering if I’m in the wrong for not apologizing to my younger brother. Here’s some context: I’m a 23-year-old woman, and my brother is 19. About a year ago, he dated my best friend’s little sister, who is also a friend of mine. I wasn’t very supportive of their relationship from the start because my brother has a history of short-lived relationships. I value my friendship with her and didn’t want it affected by their potential breakup. So, I sat him down and explained that if they broke up, my relationship with her wouldn’t change, and he agreed.

Fast forward three months, they broke up. I wasn’t surprised, but my brother was clearly upset. They had their reasons, which he never shared, but I suspect it was due to her mental health struggles. Both of them have serious mental health issues; my brother deals with OCD, depression, and anger issues. Although he’s on medication and attends counseling, he’s inconsistent with his treatment, leading to monthly relapses. Now, onto the incident: A year later, I invited my best friend over to pick up some tamales my mom made. Unexpectedly, she brought her sister along. My brother saw her and locked himself in the downstairs bathroom. I didn’t realize this until my sister mentioned it. They were only at our house for about 10-15 minutes and never crossed paths with my brother. Even if they had, she would have been polite.

After walking my friend to her car, my brother confronted me, accusing me of being disrespectful and making him uncomfortable. I argued back, explaining that I had no idea she was coming over. He insisted I should have turned her away at the door or told her she wasn’t welcome in our home. Caught off guard, I snapped back, saying if he felt that strongly, he should have spoken up instead of expecting me to handle it. He continued to argue that he shouldn’t feel uncomfortable in his own home. I pointed out that he didn’t have to hide in the bathroom; he could have gone upstairs where no one is allowed and stayed in his room. I reminded him of our agreement before the relationship began, but he disagreed. Eventually, he broke down, crying and throwing himself to the ground, then went to vomit in the bathroom. That’s when my mom intervened, telling me to stop and be more empathetic because he’s mentally unstable.

Frustrated, I stormed up to my room. Since then, we haven’t seen much of each other. He’s barricaded himself in his room, refusing to come out if I’m around, to the point where my mom delivers food to him. I find it ridiculous and think he should grow up. The whole argument started because his ex-girlfriend was in our living room for just 10 minutes, and they never even met. Am I wrong for not apologizing?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/mirehtml on 2025-07-02 02:09:47.

My (31f) friend (30f) and I have been friends for going on a decade. She's currently planning a wedding and just asked whether I'd be okay with inviting my ex. Here's my hang-up: this man cheated on me repeatedly, had an ongoing addiction to alcohol and drugs that kept him out of the house until 6am regularly (suspicious), and took advantage of me financially for years under the guise of "making it" within the entertainment industry. This was years ago, but I still have the wherewithal to recognize this as the epitome of red flag behavior.

My friend recently met up with him at a music festival and informally invited him to her wedding. She posted pictures on social media of their impromptu reunion. I messaged her because I was shocked she would want to associate with him after our breakup because she was the one that helped me move out from mine and ex's space and offered her own home up to me while I rebounded from the entire relationship.

She's a bleeding heart, forgives everyone and prides herself on harboring no ill will to even the worst offenders, and insists her motive is altruistic. She wants him at the wedding because A) we've shared some good times in the past and B) her fiance has been sharing memes with him on a weekly basis (because fiance and I weren't close enough for him to care is what I'm gathering?)

I don't know what to make of this. She knows I think he's shit, he shouldn't be invited, and I think it's weird she would even want to be his friend after all this but she is staunch it's because of her moral grandstanding and ultimate empathy? Help me make this make sense?? I'm thinking of bailing on the wedding altogether, but WIBTA?

Edit: looking back I failed to mention I am a bridesmaid in this wedding.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Competitive_Glove_72 on 2025-07-02 01:23:42.

For context, my(31F) husband(32M) broke his ankle the day before Memorial Day which resulted in him needing surgery. With him unable to walk and on crutches, I have been doing everything for him and the kids. I’ve been doing all the household chores, mowing the lawn, taking kids to and from school, bringing my husband to appointments, all while working 40hr weeks in a stressful job that just recently had 6 people leave and workload has tripled. I’m stressed, overwhelmed and exhausted. My husband had an appointment today and he is to start weight bearing as tolerated with his crutches and move up to weight bearing without them over the next month.

So tonight after the kids went down, my husband and I decided to watch a movie together and eat some ice cream. After I finished my ice cream I mentioned I wanted something salty to munch on and he asked if I would get him some chips too. I jokingly, with a silly smile and tone, said “I guess I can do that” and I got up to get us chips and he said “how ever will I repay you?” And wiggled his eyebrow in that sexy way hinting he wants me. I put on a big smile and said “with a week to myself” he laughed, I laughed and went to the kitchen to get chips. I came back and all the sudden his demeanor changed and he looked at me and asked “should I go upstairs so you can start your week to yourself” in a salty tone. I instantly was defeated. I wasn’t trying to fight with him, I was making a joke and he laughed so I thought he understood it was a joke. I sighed, took my chips back to the kitchen and decided to go to bed. I did not have any fight in me to deal with this. He came upstairs shortly after and said “I’m sorry I’m not doing okay” I didn’t respond because I didn’t have a response so he says “are you not going to acknowledge me” so I turn towards him and just stare at him. He then says “I’m sorry, it just rubbed me the wrong way and I know you’re stressed and need time to yourself too” I turned back over and said it didn’t matter. So Reddit, AITA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/DowntownGas718 on 2025-07-01 23:38:02.

Hi reddit (throwaway bc my gf knows my main) need advice because i dont think what i did was so wrong

A few nights ago, I (24f) introduced my girlfriend (25f) to one of my all-time favorite shows, Siberia (spoilers for it below). For those who don’t know it, it only had one season, ran on NBC, and was a reality show competition kind of like Survivor, but it takes place in Siberia, Russia. Importantly, it’s not actually a reality show, its a supernatural scifi show that was just shot in the style of a reality show. 

The thing is, I watched the show with my dad as it came out. At the time, I was probably about 13. My dad was the one who was originally interested, and I never saw any of the advertisements by myself. For whatever reason, my dad never let on that this was a supernatural show, so I got to watch it as though it was this crazy, off-the-rails reality show. It was amazing, and it quickly became one of my favorite shows. I actually didn’t find out until years later that it wasn’t real, and that made it even cooler for me. 

So, basically when I told my gf that my favorite show was Siberia and that she’d never heard of it, I had the idea to do the same for her to preserve her viewing experience. I told her that we should totally watch it together but not to look it up because things went really awry and there was a lot of bad press and it will spoil the “winner”. She didn’t and we started watching. 

[SPOILER] For some more context, some of the plot of the show includes a contestant dying mysteriously in the first episode, contestants not being able to call for help and then being abandoned by the whole crew, and even an alien-like night-sky-turning-green event in episode four. 

My gf was immediately very concerned and frightened, she couldn’t believe the show was allowed to air. When asked about certain events, I played it off as it being a different time and so on and she believes me. (in particular, when she asked about the contestant dying, I was just like “yeah it was a big deal thats kind of why i told you not to look it up because it wouldve been a massive spoiler” and that seemed to be okay and again she believed me. I even offered to stop watching at one point but she declined, saying she needed to know what happened (its only like ten episodes). 

After we finished, I asked for her thoughts. She said she liked it but only in like “i can’t look away” way, she still couldn’t believe it ever aired. Thats when I said “that’s because the whole show is fake, its actually a supernatural show made to look like a reality show”. I expected to see some relief from her but instead she was pissed and started to cry. She said she couldn’t believe I would do this to her and just left my apartment. I tried texting her over and over how it was just about the viewing experience, that my dad did this to me, and that it really couldn’t have been that shocking there was literally basically an alien abduction at the end. She hasn’t responded.

So basically, AITA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/wbNoir on 2025-07-01 23:20:02.

This is a tough one to write because I do have respect for my ex partner and it’s been almost a year since we’ve broken up. He’s been doing on and off dating with other people and every time he’s “off dating” he’s trying to impress me. Well lately he’s been hanging around me, messaging me a lot along with telling me that he misses me and wants to go back to normalcy. Which is fine because I can’t tell a person how to feel but the reason I said no is because whenever he broke up with me I did a lot of self exploration and now I don’t really think he’s the type of man I would date. But regardless come to find out he’s been dating this dude for about 3 months now and he is still messaging me. I stopped responding to him about 2 weeks ago because that’s when I found out and he has been super persistent to the point where I was getting 8-10 messages a day asking why I won’t talk to him even though I already explained to him that I don’t want to be a biproduct of cheating and manipulation. Well now it’s gotten to a point where he has showed up at my house to “talk” whenever realistically he wants intimacy and after he showed up I found his partners instagram and not only sent him the messages but the ring footage at my door. The partner responded almost immediately and thanked me for telling him and that if he kept it up I should get a restraining order. But now my ex has messaged me with something that states “now that the guy is out of the picture will you talk to me finally” and the ex is now blaming me for them breaking up. Did I make the right decision in saying something?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/cubingtothegame on 2025-07-01 22:54:17.

i 25f live with my brother 27m and his wife 25f.

we live in an apartment and three way split rent and all, and i love both my brother and his wife and they’re fun and good people to be around;however, recently two months ago, my brother has been asking me to pay his portion in rent because he’s tight on money. i agreed with some hesitation (he plans to pay me back).

for more information: my brother is unemployed. his wife is making $16/hr. I decided to go back to school and am working full time with $19/hr while going to class. i have personal expenses of my own on top of rent as well.

i come home and see my brother brainrotting and doing everything besides finding a job. i remember thinking what is he doing? and thinking, is his wife not thinking anything too? But it wasn’t my place to ask her or him.

fast forward to last week, my brother asked again to pay for a part of his portion of rent. i immediately said i’ll think about it, leaning no. and it angered me honestly since i saw that he didn’t do anything for the past month. and his wife said nothing to him either - im also questioning if my brother even tells his wife about how financially in trouble he is.

i could tell my brother was sad and stressed that i had said no, and i feel bad and i know he feels bad too, but am i the asshole in this case for saying no?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/--clapped-- on 2025-07-01 22:18:52.

Basically, my sister is going on a 2 week holiday in September and needs someone to look after her dog. She doesn't use kennels for a number of reasons and I have always looked after her dogs in the past when her and her boyfriend have gone away.

So, if I usually look after her dogs, what has changed?

The last time she went away and I had to watch her dogs would have been last year. At the time she had a 3 year old Rottweiler named Dexter and, our childhood dog, an 11 year old Yorkshire Terrier named Pudsey. This is fine, I used to live with both dogs when me and my sister lived with our parents; of course the yorkshire terrier since I was like 10 and the Rottweiler for a couple years before moving etc. Dexter was also our 3rd Rottweiler as a family so, I can handle the breed.

Since then, Pudsey has passed away and I adopted a rescue; a 7 year old Cane Corso named Roxie who is a saint. Roxie and and Dexter have met a couple times now and they get along well enough that I was still willing to dogsit for her. I WASN'T LOOKING FORWARD TO IT because, well, Dexter is a hassle. He's massive for one (weighs about 60kg to Roxies 40kg) and has literally endless energy. Energy he constantly redirects towards Roxie now. It can get too much for her but, I have ways to separate them when needed. Just to give her space.

That was until she started seriously considering getting another dog. Not just any dog but a puppy... So, upon hearing this, I told her "I am not watching 3 dogs, on my own. One of which is a 60kg handful, the other a puppy". And I was very clear, I put my foot down and outright told her and told my mum that I am not doing that. She can either wait A FEW MONTHS to get a new dog or can find a kennel for them.

Well, looks like they take me for a dickhead as she now has a new chihuahua puppy. So? Looks like she's finding a kennel. Except my mum is adamant that I will still dogsit and that it isn't a big deal. They think because I work from home that, I have all the time to; baby sit a puppy, make sure Dexter isn't assaulting Roxie, walk them? I can't not walk them, it's 2 weeks. I walk Roxie for about 90 minutes a day (in the cooler weather) and I can't walk her and Dexter together? Nevermind a puppy in the mix?

"Why doesn't you mum watch one of them" In her defence, she works 2 jobs. On most days; she's out of them house from 8am to 8pm with a couple hours home in between. I see why she can't watch a dog on her own either. THAT DOESN'T MEAN I CAN WATCH 3? What about our dad? Well, our parents don't live together and his work schedule is a little unconventional. He essentially spends a week at work, living in, and then a week at home. He also lives about 6 hours away from my sister and 3 hours away from me so, for a number of reasons, I am the ONLY option.

I'm being made out as a bad guy as my mum holds all of the things she did for me in the 22 years since I was born. Asking me to do it for her and how cruel it would be for me to refuse.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/radiantvalor on 2025-07-01 22:13:29.

I (29F, hijabi) went on a weekend trip with my married cousins/their husbands and their cousins from their mom’s side. We were at a restaurant one evening, they were joking about their motel being terrible, and one cousin joked, “Maybe we’ll just stay at your place instead.”

I just woke up from a nap maybe 10 mins before we got to the restaurant and I jokingly replied, “Sorry, I don’t allow guests in my house. It might be worse than the motel you picked.” I said it sarcastically, thinking we were still joking around.

Later that night, all three sisters pulled me aside and told me to be “more mindful” around their husbands because I might’ve made a bad impression. They said I sounded unaccommodating and told me they were giving advice “as sisters,” even bringing up the loss of my brother.

I felt blindsided. I wasn’t intentionally trying to be rude but I was tired and made a blunt joke. I live alone, I wear hijab, and it’s not appropriate for me to host a mixed group anyway. I thought it was obvious the comment was a joke in response to their joke.

TL;DR: Cousins joked about crashing at my place, I joked back that I don’t allow guests, and later they told me I embarrassed myself in front of their husbands. AITA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/GoDavyGo on 2025-07-01 21:42:13.

TL;DR: One of the kids in our neighborhood friend group is 9 and still needs an adult to wipe him after he poops. I don’t think that’s my responsibility, so I don’t include him in activities that take us far from his mom. Other parents apparently have been wiping him, and now I’m being talked about for “excluding” him. AITA for setting this boundary?

I live in a close-knit neighborhood where the kids all play together, go to the same school, and bounce between our homes for meals, sleepovers, and activities. It’s a great dynamic most of the time.

One of the boys (M9) in the group still requires his mother to wipe him after using the bathroom. Again—he’s 9. I’m not here to judge his development, but I am saying this: that is not my responsibility, and I didn’t think it needed to be said out loud.

The kid avoids using the restroom away from home entirely. He’s held it through school days, playdates, even had accidents trying to get back home. If he’s at my place and has to go, he just leaves.

I’m pretty active—I take the kids hiking, camping, geocaching, to hot springs, beaches, golf courses—all-day stuff, far from home. I don’t invite this boy on those kinds of outings because, frankly, I don’t want to be out in the middle of nowhere and have to wipe a 9-year-old kid’s butt. I don’t think that’s a normal expectation to place on anyone outside of his parents.

Recently, another parent vented that they had been wiping this kid, which shocked me. Then I hear that people are saying I’ve been excluding him—and yeah, I have, from situations where it’s absolutely unreasonable to expect me to step in for that kind of care.

So, AITA for not including him in certain activities because I refuse to take on what I consider to be an inappropriate responsibility?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Legitimate-Way8993 on 2025-07-01 21:38:42.

I (23f) am a lesbian and I have a friend (23m) who is straight. He hates being a man but he promises he isn't trans. According to him, women are divinely beautiful and we don't have to try to be beautiful. To him, men are physically gross and no non-delusional man can ever feel as beautiful as a woman. He talks about wishing he was born a girl. I feel sad during and after listening to him. I feel anxious because I don't want to do anything to make him feel worse. I told him to stop telling me about his "jealousy" of women, especially lesbians. He said I was being a bad friend because I'm the only one he can talk to. He said no professional can help him but they can't make him born a girl. Am I the asshole ?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/szammi on 2025-07-01 20:29:52.

Hi! I'm 25M, currently living with my GF (23F). One week there was an event for we and my sister (23F) had to travel to my parents'.

Originally the plan was that after I finished work from home me and my gf go to a street food festival she was really interested in and after I drive us to parents' house.

However, my sister asked us if she could come stay the night before and go with us (the road is 1 hour by car and 4 hrs by bus). She also said she can't afford to come to the festival with us because she has to study for her exams. She asked if we could leave in the morning instead. We agreed, but I had one condition: I can attend my online meeting in time, meaning we leave early in the morning.

Guess who did not wake up in time. She wanted to leave 20 minutes before my meeting but I said to her we will leave after I finished it, she could study in the living room. She was upset by it, saying she can't study in other people's rooms, and managed to not study, only look at videos while I had my meeting.

Later we left and arrived at our parents' but she still did not study, instead she went for a walk and visited family. I continued my work and did not care about that, but later when she started complaining about how she couldn't study because of my "selfishness". I said I won't take her studies seriously if she doesn't either.

She got upset and did not talk to me all weekend.

So reddit, AITA?

Edit: When she started complaining, I asked her not to blame everything on me. This resulted in an argument ending with me losing my temper. This is why I felt bad, being too harsh with her and wanted insight. Thank you already for yours

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Informal-Tree3339 on 2025-07-01 18:38:43.

I (31f) gave birth earlier this year. A few people have given me compliments, not sure how genuine. But I have a friend (29f) who is very blunt with her "compliments." She called my butt big. She said my stretch marks look "awesome." She said she bet men look at me more know. I have called me chunky. She have called parts of me "juicey." I understand trying to make the new mommy still feel pretty but I felt uncomfortable. I asking my friend to stop complimenting my postpartum body. She looked sad and she told me she was just trying to help. She called me ungrateful and insecure. Am I the asshole ?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Frogify_ on 2025-07-01 16:49:41.

I (17F) bought an old car off of a family member about a year ago. My sister (14F) seems to think that this means she should get automatic rights to ride in my car when she starts high school.

I would not have a problem with this, except for the fact that she wears her cowboy boots everywhere. These boots she wears out to feed her horses and goats and doesn't clean them off afterward.

She owns other shoes, and my car has a cloth interior. I have asked to either wear other shoes and I can put a box/bucket in the truck to store her cowboy boots, yet she refuses. Then I will go and call me names over it. And I should just accept the fact that my car will get dirty.

Admittedly, I am sort of a neat freak, especially when it comes to my car, because it is the first big thing that I own.

When the conversation came of her riding in my car to high school after the summer. I refused, not only over her wearing the boots but also because it is extremely disrespectful towards me in general.

I woke up at 6 am to catch the bus for my first 2 years of high school, and with her attitude, I think her should do the same.

Am I just being a neat freak or do I actually have a standing here?

TLDR; Sister refuses to wear anything but diety cowboy boots, I do not want them in my car.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Kind-Firefighter4771 on 2025-07-01 16:27:28.

I (20f) was cooking dinner for my pregnant sister (26f), her boyfriend (27m), my mom (46f) and my dad (49m). The kitchen was hot so I was really sweaty. When my sister and her boyfriend came in, they didn't say anything about my appearance. During dinner, everyone was eating except my sister. I asked her what's wrong, and she said she doesn't want to eat someone from someone was sweaty and "stinky" while cooking it. The dinner was awkward after that. Am I the asshole ?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Beginning-Tie2409 on 2025-07-01 14:57:22.

For simplicity, I (19f) will refer to the girlfriend (28f) of my dad (43m) as my stepmom. When I was in high school, my stepmom was my after-school dance tutor. Over a year after my parents got divorced, my stepmom told me she always had feelings for my dad, and asked my permission to ask him out. My stepmom has a very long and hard to pronounce Hispanic last name. She has a short American first name. I'm used to calling her by her first name but my dad doesn't like that. He wants me to call her Ms (her last name), a variation of mom, and some other title of authority. I call her Ms (her last name) when my dad is around but I call her by her first name when it's just her and I. My stepmom doesn't like it when people mispronounce or struggle to say her last name. Am I the asshole ?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/helloiamsilver on 2025-07-01 13:48:08.

So my (f31) ex husband (m33) just broke up in March of this year. I won’t go into details about it but he sprung it on me quite suddenly. We just bought a house together a little over a year ago and we’ve both been living there in the meantime while I look for a new place to live and our lawyers figure out the financial details. I’m not particularly attached to the house so I don’t mind moving but it takes time.

I currently have one 14 year old chihuahua mix who was my dog before I met my ex husband so I will be keeping the dog with me. Ex loves dogs and spoke a lot about wanting to get another dog. He even showed me specific other dogs he had been considering just a few weeks before he dumped me. He now tells me the one of the reasons he wanted another dog so bad was that he could have a dog that was just his.

He recently sent me a message asking if it would be okay for him to get another dog soon, while I’m still in the house. I told him no because he works quite a bit and I don’t have a day job (I’m an artist) so I’d be the one at home all day taking care of this new dog. I also said it was unfair to my dog to make him socialize with a new dog all of a sudden, especially since we won’t be staying here. My dog is old and not super friendly to other dogs.

I do feel a little bad that ex still helps with my dog but him and my dog have lived together for like 8 years so of course my dog still loves him and asks for attention from him. The dog doesn’t know what’s going on. It’s also not like he needs very much care. Ex just gives him food in the morning and lets him outside a few times and lets him snuggle with him.

Ex said that he didn’t expect this whole divorce/me moving out process to take so long and tried to make me feel guilty by saying a lot of the dogs he looks at are at shelters where they’ll be put down soon if they’re not adopted.

Am I the asshole for just telling him to wait and not look at new dogs until I’m gone?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Loverrr90 on 2025-07-01 13:37:46.

My husband (36M) is a teacher and does not work in the summer and our son (18m/oM) is in daycare full-time. I (34F) work full time, Monday through Friday, year round. During the school year (about 9 months a year) I am solely responsible for getting our son up and off to day care with little or no help from his dad, who has to be at work earlier than I do. And on most weekends during the school year and the summer I give my husband at least one day to sleep in. I rarely get to sleep in, it’s usually only if I am sick or I ask but even then I don’t always get to.

I don’t have a ton of free time in general because by the time I get off work most days my husband has already picked up our son so my days basically look like this: wake up at 6:30-7am, get myself and son ready quickly for the day, take him to daycare and be back home (luckily I WFH or I think I’d feel even worse about this) by 8am for work. Then husband gets home around 3pm, takes a minimum 1 hour nap then picks son up around 4:30 or 5. Then I get off work at 4:30 and get to hang with son, feed us dinner and do bath and bedtime which we share bath and bedtime duties.

My biggest issues is that I just do not have a lot of free time and definitely not as much as my husband does. So I am asking you, am I the asshole for expecting my husband to get up with our son and take him to daycare and let me sleep in a little on the summer weekdays before I have to work when he is off and has the whole day free since our son will be at daycare and he can do whatever he wants?

ETA: Husband is not just napping and doing nothing when he’s home for summer and sons at daycare. He is doing house projects, lawn maintenance, fixing cars and other things.

Son loves routine and daycare and him going in the summer works for us at this time so that’s not an issue really even tho I do hear that it would be beneficial for some dad/son time and will talk to him about this.

He currently has been taking our son to daycare each day but I usually have to ask him specifically to get up with our son when he wakes up rather than him just taking on the responsibility of getting up with son and letting me rest a bit. Although some days I do get up and get him to daycare still.

We have had variations of this conversation but not currently for this summer so we need to have that convo.

Communication is a struggle for us and we need to work on that.

Thanks for all the valuable feedback. It is truly appreciated.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/FalconEmpire24 on 2025-07-01 12:55:17.

Hi, Reddit. I’m 17 F, and I live with my aunt (66 F) because my mom died & my father (60) works abroad. My only sister (34 F) also works abroad, so it’s just us two.

My sister posted a photo of herself on Facebook. My aunt saw it, and told me “she got fat”. Knowing my sister doesn’t like her weight pointed out, I told her “Don’t say that. She doesn’t like that.”.

She then proceeded to: • Get angry at me • Say stuff like “your generation is so sensitive”, “I didn’t even intend to insult her and you think I’m capable of that”, & “You think YOU’RE always right?” • Sleep on the couch (the house only has 1 bedroom so we sleep in the same room) • Mutter words out of anger • Slam furnitures

Am I the asshole for telling my aunt that she’s not supposed to point out things like that?

Edit: The reason why I called her out on her words was because my sister wasn’t comfortable with terms like that or any comments about her body. I personally do not think of the word as an insult.

Edit 2: She’s the healthiest she’s ever been (especially after leaving the country) & she’s very happy & beautiful.

Edit 3: My intention was not to police my aunt with her language. My intention was to stop her from doing that & saying things like that repeatedly, because she’s comfortable with saying it to the family gc & to my sister directly. I’ve told her multiple times that my sister doesn’t like it, and she crashed out this time.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Past-Conversation120 on 2025-07-01 10:30:11.

UPDATE: this, though quick, has been the catalyst to the self-reflection I needed.

I’ll drop my expectations. I don’t blame his mom for anything. She’s right. She may not be tactful, but she’s not wrong. Also, I wouldn’t want someone fighting with my kid either, so her reaction in my eyes is justified.

He doesn’t need to go on any of our family outings if he doesn’t want to, including big trips of course. If he wants to, awesome. He can take the car if he wants it, and if I’m still at my employer when he rolls around to college soon, my husband and I will foot the tax bill.

Just because I’m upset right now and feeling a bit under appreciated, like we all do sometimes, doesn’t mean I have to change who I am, which is someone who wants that kid to succeed with any and all resources I can provide. Time spent with me or not. I know he loves and appreciates everything we all do for him, whether he verbalizes it. He’s a good kid and I can’t forget that. We’re a family who generally doesn’t fight much, so I guess I was just upset/sad.

I (38f) have a stepson (16m) who I’ve been married to his father for 10 years. We’ve always had him 60% of the week. His mom has two other kids to two other fathers who aren’t in the picture plus the past couple years she’s always had a boyfriend living there with a couple kids of his own (it’s been a couple different boyfriends). I’m a big traveler and feel it’s important for kids growing up to travel as well. I’m not rich by any means but I save well and with my husbands help, we can afford it.

Recently, I’ve started feeling under appreciated with everything. I work over full time (10-12 hour days usually) for an elite college and am about to start my phd program. I’ve also started to plan a trip to Europe for us (also have a 3f daughter). Stepson says he doesn’t want to go. I’ve had to force him on the last handful of trips with not even a thank you at the end; even when bringing one of his friends with him.

His mom started texting me saying he doesn’t have to go and I’m not his mom. She’s completely right. He doesn’t have to go and I’m not his mom. The thing is, they all expect me to pay for his college tuition with my employee benefits (I can get him a BS or BA for free- though of course I’ll get taxed). He has no college fund. I just recently passed up a better paying job in walking distance of my house with his college tuition in mind but now I feel like a dummy for that. Also, my parents were going to give him a car as well (they’re pretty well off). I’ve had enough of feeling like a doormat. My husband is just sitting on the fence hoping this all blows over. WIBTA if I decide to not let him take advantage of the free college or free car because like they say, he’s not my son?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Capable-Accident-743 on 2025-07-01 06:46:46.

UPDATE IN THE COMMENTS

I (31 F) am a twin and have 5 siblings aged 31-44. Since last January 2024; my 2nd oldest brother (42 M) has been mistreating me and I don’t know why. One day, he just stopped talking to me and would ignore me whenever possible. It’s been a year and a half now, and I have made several attempts to reconcile. I tried to make small talk, ask questions about why he was doing that, and basically anything I could do to get a conversation with him. Mind you, he’s 10 years+9mths older than me. I adored him and I’m the godmother to his teen daughter. I held him in high regard because he was my primary caregiver growing up and I loved him like a father figure. So him treating me like a stranger is breaking my heart. It got out of hand when he would make passive aggressive comments out loud that were directly aimed at me, or when he would make up scenarios or conspiracies about me,my husband and our children. Then he would share those things with our whole family. So It just seemed crazy cause none of it was true and I didn’t bother with him for a bit.

Until Today, I completely lost it and called him out while at a very important family meeting regarding our Father’s well being (70 M). Our father is going through a domestic dispute with his (56 F) common law and I was the first person to reach him and support him. Once it resolved, we had a family meeting on how to better support him and his current situation. Since I was the first on scene, the information I relayed was important. My brother asked our Mother what happened, I cut in and quickly answered, he didn’t react, didn’t look at me, then proceeded to repeat his question towards our mother. I LOST IT. I shut down and planned to leave and return home to my own family. When I got to my truck, I said No to myself, gave myself a quick mental pep talk, walked back in and right up to him. “I explained to you what happened! You don’t hear me! You don’t see me! You don’t even acknowledge me or my children! I’ve had enough and I won’t tolerate your disrespect anymore. I’ve been trying to talk to you for over a year!”…. My voice cracked, I was panicking, hyperventilating. He still didn’t look at me. Our family was shocked. I walked to my truck and drove home and now I feel like an AH. But my sisters came to check up on me, apparently he got heated on by our mother. I didn’t mean for it to end like that and I crashed out. AITA? Thanks.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Alert_Marionberry_31 on 2025-07-01 06:33:52.

I (18F) am starting university this fall. I have about $30,000 in savings/grants, meant to cover 4 years of undergrad + one year of grad school. That works out to roughly $6,000/year.

I also qualified for financial aid and will be receiving around $18,000 for the school year. But it’s paid in installments, and tuition is automatically deducted, so in reality, I’ll have about $4,500/semester for living and school expenses. I’m also receiving a $2,500 bursary from my university.

For this upcoming fall semester, I’ll have around $10,000 to spend, assuming I only use some of my savings. First year will be expensive. I’m living in residence, and will need to pay for bedding, furnishings, and electronics for school. I’ve budgeted for it all and will likely have a little leftover, either to spend on extras or save for the next semester.

Now, onto the issue: my brother (20M) also had post-secondary savings/grants, though I’m not sure how much. He started university (commuted), dropped out, went to college a year later, and dropped out again. During that time, he signed a lease for an apartment he couldn’t afford. He doesn’t have a job and hasn’t for years. When our mom told him the place was too expensive, he insisted he’d find work… he never did.

Now, he owes $2,700 in rent and my mom expects me to cover it. And to be honest, I don’t believe I’ll see that money again. Her reasoning is that I’ll still have ~$24,000 left in my savings after this year. Technically true, but that money has to last the next 4 years and possibly a master’s program.

What frustrates me is how little effort my brother puts into changing his situation. He says he dropped out to get tested for ADHD… okay, but he’s doing absolutely nothing in the meantime. He turned down a one day job last week that our older brother offered to drive him to. Even if it’s only for one day, it would give him some experience and at least some money to hold onto. When I suggested he go to therapy (which is covered by our mom’s insurance), he said he didn’t need it, just a diagnosis. Like… there are steps to this.

And the wildest part? He talks all the time about going to Stanford or Caltech and working at NASA. I’m not trying to crush his dreams, but he has no track record of following through, and no plan that actually reflects what those goals would require. Even if ADHD is a factor, you still have to put in the work. Medication alone doesn’t fix everything.

At the end of the day, I can technically afford to help. I just don’t want to, because I don’t trust I’ll ever see that money again. And I don’t think it’s fair to take away from my education, something I’ve planned for and worked toward, because he refuses to help himself.

Am I being unreasonable for saying no?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/PlasticLarge4742 on 2025-07-01 06:28:26.

My (27M) brother (24M) recently asked if he could crash at my place for a few months. I agreed because he said he was trying to get back on his feet.

One day while I was at work, I came home early and found him going through my closet and my desk drawers. He acted like it was no big deal, said he was just “looking for headphones.” But he had literally opened sealed envelopes and moved things around.

I told him I didn’t feel comfortable with him staying anymore and gave him 48 hours to find somewhere else. Now my mom is calling me heartless and says “family is family” and I should have given him another chance.

AITA for kicking him out instead of just talking it through?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fuzzy_Argument670 on 2025-07-01 05:27:36.

I’m a bartender who works wedding events on weekends for extra income. Over the weekend, I worked a wedding event and the cocktail hour had just started (5pm). During cocktail hour, we only had the lounge bar and rooftop bar open. The main bar was closed but was going to open when dinner was served later on.

Anyways…. I had to do some dishes behind the main bar and noticed a lady on the other side of the bar, reach over the bar top and grab a bottle of wine from our ice bucket. At first I thought maybe she just wanted to look at the label, but then she proceeded to twist off the cap and help herself. I said “Ma’am, you cannot do that. Please ask a bartender to serve you at one of the open bars” her response was “well I just wanted some wine” and I said “that’s against our policy, you can’t just take alcohol from behind a bar.” I proceeded to take the wine bottle back and fill her glass. And THEN she pulled the whole “well I am the step mom of the bride” which I responded with “well then you should certainly know better then.” AND THEN she had the audacity to stay “well you don’t have to be a bitch about it”.

I was so surprised and was shaking with adrenaline after the whole interaction. I just said “OK” and left the bar. I vented to another coworker which they told management and they all checked on me and made sure I was okay. They also confronted the lady and said she is no longer to help herself to our alcohol and to only go through a bartender and that they had been having issues from the same lady the whole day. Am I the asshole for saying something and stopping her?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/tht1guyfromgoodgirls on 2025-07-01 04:45:44.

So a friend of mine recently self-published a children’s book on Amazon. She made a big announcement on social media about how excited she was to start this new chapter in her life as an author.

She also texted me about it, and I responded that it was really cool and that I’d buy a copy when I could afford it. I also asked what the story was about, and she told me I’d have to buy it to find out.

Later, my husband saw the cover and was curious if it was AI-generated. I asked my friend who her illustrator was, and she said she’d used Canva AI. Personally, I didn’t really care either way, so I just didn’t reply to that message right away.

A few hours later, she followed up asking why I had asked. I wasn’t on my phone, so I didn’t see it right away. When I didn’t respond again, she sent another message basically saying, “Are you going to reply or not?” I told her I was just curious. I didn’t want to mention that someone else thought it looked like AI, since I felt that would come across as rude.

She then sent a long message along the lines of, “I already have one friend criticizing my book, and then there’s you—no congratulations, just asking about the artwork as if you’re trying to find something negative. So why don’t you be honest about why you’re asking.”

I replied, “Please calm down. I can’t afford to buy your book right now. When people are proud of something, they usually enjoy talking about it, so I thought asking questions was a way to show I was interested.”

She didn’t respond after that.

Later, her husband (who I work with) mentioned that she was upset I didn’t congratulate her.

I have no choice but to be at their house soon for an overnight visit, and I’m already dreading any potential awkwardness.

Should I approach her once I'm there or just camp out in the guest room and hole up until the last minute (me and him will have a tight schedule that morning) to avoid any potential conversation?

I genuinely wasn’t trying to downplay her new book—the first thing that came to my mind was to ask questions to show support since I couldn't buy it. But now I’m wondering if I was unintentionally dismissive.

ETA- I hope i didn't unintentionally mislead but when i looked back at our texts, I didn't use the word cool, i said the story sounded funny (she marketed it as a hilarious story to read at bedtime and the title has shock value) and maybe that makes it better or worse. I'll just paste the exact text i sent initially in response to her text about the book

"When I can, I'll totally buy a copy. What's the story? It sounds funny"