If I had to buy a pickup truck I'd buy a Suzuki Carry and call it a day
this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2024
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No no, OP, you see, how will I transport four fully grown corn-fed american patriots around?
A normal car?
No, I need to transport these four fully grown corn-fed american patriots while also transporting a bunch of material that I can't have in the cab of my car.
A trailer?
Don't be ridiculous, it's too heavy, a normal car couldn't tow that.
A slightly better car?
No, that's insane, it's much too heavy, and besides, I need to transport three metric tons of stuff, all outside of my vehicle, which means I need a trailer and I can't keep any of it in the back of my normal car.
A beefy cargo van, with a covered cabin, and a divider?
No, see, you simply don't understand, all my loads need to be uncovered. I'm transporting, uhh, loose gasoline? Not in a barrel, just loose in the bed, and 400 2x4s, and, uhh, gravel. I don't want a semi, because you need to be licensed for that and I would rather pay more to have a personal vehicle which is capable of all of this at once rather than pay for a delivery. I also need good ground clearance, because I'm going into the unpaved american wilderness with these large uncovered loads. I'm not antisocial, I just need to transport this to my off grid homesteading compound in the middle of nowhere, with my four platonic corn-fed american patriot roommates, or my fifteen sons and daughters which I've already pledged to my friends' other fifteen sons and daughters. How do I pay for all this? It's all super cheap, I swear, I'm just an honest normal rural farmer, and I work a normal job as a military defense contractor, or running IT for some wing of some megacorporation, or maybe I just have inherited money. Everyone wants to be me, but I'm the only person who's allowed to use this truck and say it's totally acceptable because this is a totally legitimate use and I'm just exercising my normal freedoms.
This is all normal, and fine.
But only one of them won't have you seated in direct eyeline of all the super-high beams that everyone else is driving.
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