this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2023
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The Onion

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GAZA CITY, GAZA—The complicity of each and every Palestinian in the violent actions of their militant ruling authority was reportedly on full display Friday morning when dying Gazans received justified criticism for not using their last words to condemn Hamas. For example, instead of issuing a full-throated denunciation of the violent attacks by Hamas that have left over 1,300 Israelis dead, one dying woman holding her 6-year-old son who had just been killed in a bombing is said to have doubled down by telling her child she loved him. According to reports, such barbarism on the part of Palestinians was on full display across the Gaza Strip, where many men of fighting age could not muster a single world of reproof for Hamas’ actions while they coughed up blood. In war-ravaged Gaza City, a dying reporter was heard blatantly begging for help instead of labeling Hamas a terrorist organization. At press time, the Israeli Defense Forces Twitter account underscored the massive surge of contempt they were contending with by posting a video that featured the shocking savagery of a Palestinian corpse that refused to condemn Hamas even when kicked.

link: https://www.theonion.com/dying-gazans-criticized-for-not-using-last-words-to-con-1850925657

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[–] [email protected] 112 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The Onion is on fire with this war.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sadly it's no war, it's a one sided beatdown.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Sadly? I'm not sure either is better than the other tbh.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I mean an actual war would at least force Israel to think twice before trying to genocide Palestinians for the umpteenth time.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

It is like Hollywood trying to make the same movie over and over because the first one was a success and copying it is easy.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

You're right, both are sad. genocidal bombing of a largely defenseless people (backed by some of the most powerful nations in the world) somehow really gets me down

[–] Sabre363 30 points 1 year ago

Not the only thing on fire

[–] PrincessLeiasCat 94 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Holy shit

…one dying woman holding her 6-year-old son who had just been killed in a bombing is said to have doubled down by telling her child she loved him.

[–] [email protected] 69 points 1 year ago

"...the shocking savagery of a Palestinian corpse that refused to condemn Hamas even when kicked." Absolute gold!

[–] [email protected] 62 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Absolutely fucking savage.

[–] PrincessLeiasCat 56 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The Onion has given even fewer fucks with this one than usual and it’s been brutally chef’s kiss.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I think they are hitting harder than usual to point out what no one is saying: the IDF and Hamas are going to murder civilians in their little pissing match and there's nothing the world can do about it.

I honestly don't want to see anything more about it on TV. It's like gun violence in the US. The solution is simple but hard. No one wants to do it, so the problem continues.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Totally agree.

I do find the self censorship that goes on now extremely worrying though. There seems to be a zeitgeist around what you are and are not allowed to say, and the media and politicians go a long with it without challenging it.

It's like a blank cheque is being handed to Israel to do what they want in Gaza and the entire world is doing worse than just ignoring it - powerful people are actively endorsing it as if it's a reasonable approach.

Good on the Onion for at least trying to call out the stupidity of it all. But it won't make any difference.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

You hit the nail on the head. It is obvious what needs to happen but it is also obvious that it won't happen because nobody sees a way to make it happen.

[–] [email protected] 56 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Is this even satire at this point?

[–] [email protected] 68 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This is what satire is supposed to be.

I recall seeing a criticism of the type of satire you see on shows like Saturday Night Live. They tend to prioritize the humor over everything to the point that the social commentary seems diminished. Often, you'll see evil people portrayed as bumbling morons, for example.

Satire is supposed to be social criticism done through humor, so if you don't go for a knockout blow with the criticism, what's the point?

The real question is whether anything less than this is satire.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Fair enough. I just felt this is the actual position of the colonizers, not an exaggeration of their stance.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

some of them probably think like this (or close to this) , that's why it's so good.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Satire is supposed to be social criticism done through humor, so if you don't go for a knockout blow with the criticism, what's the point?

But if you forgo the humor then it's just hyperbolic criticism, and I'm struggling to see anything humorous in this article.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

if you struggle to see humor in he article maybe your funny bone is broken.

According to reports, such barbarism on the part of Palestinians was on full display across the Gaza Strip, where many men of fighting age could not muster a single world of reproof for Hamas’ actions while they coughed up blood.

how can you read this and not chuckle at the absurdity?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I guess the situation is just too tragic for me to laugh at.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

It's a specific type of hyperbolic criticism. Kind of like weaponised sarcasm.

[–] dxc 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It reads so evil it sounds like propaganda but who knows

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

It is only propaganda in the eyes of those that decided barbaric terror is okay, if it is comitted by the right people with laser guided bombs instead of simple rifles.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wow this is a tragedy and I’m not going to lie I was a little weary seeing an Israeli themed Onion but damn if they didn’t hit the nail on the head, recognizing the tragedy while making a fucking point.

Heart breaking.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Did you mean "wary" here or were you just tired of seeing onion articles about Israel?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

For what it is worth, I'm weary about seeing anything related to the Middle East.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

It's the rare amusing situation where either could be correct. One could be tired of wry, satirical takes on war and feel fatigue on seeing an Onion article about a wartorn country.

[–] Classy 2 points 1 year ago

Weary, wary, wry

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Yes! Yes. Wart. Thank you.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

There are definitely more or less felicitous ways to talk. Whether you understand what somebody literally means is the bare minimum of communication, not its only metric.

Not saying I don't make similar errors, of course!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

They thanked them for the correction, get over it.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago

The Onion is being anti-semitic!!11!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

I legit ate that one. I would not be surprised.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago

Prominent journal editor fired for endorsing satirical article about Israel-Hamas conflict

Michael Eisen, editor-in-chief of the prominent open access journal eLife and a longtime critic of traditional journals, says he is losing that job for publicly endorsing a satirical article that criticized people dying in Gaza for not condemning the recent attacks on Israel by the Palestinian group Hamas.

“I have been informed that I am being replaced as the Editor in Chief of @eLife for retweeting a @TheOnion piece that calls out indifference to the lives of Palestinian civilians,” Eisen tweeted today. Multiple editors at eLife have already resigned to protest his dismissal.

The furor began on 13 October when Eisen, a geneticist at the University of California, Berkeley, praised one of The Onion’s fake news stories on X, formerly Twitter. The story bore the headline “Dying Gazans Criticized For Not Using Last Words To Condemn Hamas.” Eisen said “The Onion speaks with more courage, insight and moral clarity than the leaders of every academic institution put together. I wish there were a @TheOnion university.”

Criticism of Eisen, who is Jewish, immediately erupted, but the scientist, who is known for being provocative, did not retreat. A day later, he tweeted, “Every sane person on Earth is horrified and traumatized by what Hamas did and wants it to never happen again. All the more so as a Jew with Israeli family. But I am also horrified by the collective punishment already being meted out on Gazans, and the worse that is about to come. …The Onion is not making light of the situation. And nor am I. These articles are using satire to make a deadly serious point about this horrific tragedy.”