this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2023

62 points (81.6% liked)

No Stupid Questions

35947 readers

623 users here now

No such thing. Ask away!

!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules (interactive)

Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.

All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.

Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.

Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.

Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.

Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.

Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.

That's it.

Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.

Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.

Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.

Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.

On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.

If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.

Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.

If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.

Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.

Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.

Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.

Let everyone have their own content.

Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here.

Credits

Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!

The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

AITA for doing a GoFundMe? (Details within.) (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

64 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Living in the U.S. here, so non-American advice may not be the best thing for me, not sure.

I am living with an undiagnosed serious illness (haven't eaten for 45 days.) I am off work on FMLA, which is a thing businesses in the U.S. offer to their employees where you can taker time off and they will keep your job for you, but you don't get paid. We are not exactly poor, but we are going to be surviving for at least a month on a single income. That will be hard, but we'll make it if we cut back.

HOWEVER.

I have $1000 in medical debt, which will just keep climbing, and I also have a cousin who says that he can get me into the best hospital in New York- I'm in Indiana and we're not exactly at the forefront of medicine- to get thoroughly tested. I cannot afford either of these things. We do not have temporary disability insurance.

I have a lot of friends and relatives who might donate, but I feel like such an asshole asking for money. Especially when my wife is working and has a decent job. I've done everything I can since I was 18 to make it on my own and, while I have had to take handouts in the past, it was at the 'this or starve' level, and my doctor hasn't run out of tests to do on me yet, so I wouldn't quite put it like that. And what if the money isn't enough to go to New York and pay for all of this testing? Do I give it all back?

So should I do a GoFundMe? What do you think?

Please, please, please, please do not give me medical advice. I really really do not want medical advice from strangers on the Internet. I leave that to professionals. But I would love this bit of AITA advice.

TL;DR - Very ill, not working, in debt, possible solution in another state. Should I do a GoFundMe?

(page 2) 19 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I don't think making a GoFundMe for that is anything bad, in fact I'm of the opinion that it would be better if it was only a single GoFundMe that everyone is forced to contribute depending on how much they earn, and then everyone can use that, it would be a way to get the public to have access to healthcare, so we could call it public healthcare system, I think almost every other country in the world has a version of this which is why even if you hadn't mentioned places I know which country you're from.

As for the answer to whether you're the asshole is: It depends. Do you vote for politicians that oppose public health? If so then you're the asshole, you're saying that you are special and you deserve to have your treatment paid for you whereas other people do not. If you vote in favour of politicians that support public health, then you're not the asshole, because your vote indicates you're willing to do the same for others and had the people you voted done what you wanted you wouldn't need that GoFundMe, nor would anyone else in the same situation.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Get the best treatment you can, worry about the bills and a gofundme later when you have a clearer picture of what's up.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Have you tried speaking with the hospitals patient accounts department? A lot of hospitals will offer discounts, or even financial assistance, which could help with part or all of the bill.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not yet, but they seem to be letting me take my time for now thankfully.

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You are absolutely not an asshole for needing help and asking for it.

Too often people need help but refuse to ask because of pride, embarrassment, or some other reason. To need help and ask for it is brave, not shameful.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It is both pride and embarrassment in my case, that's definitely true. Thanks.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I guess they are sort of the same thing. But I'm a firm believer that being able to identify why you might not want to ask for help (or feel any feeling, really) is an important step to take, because that can give you insight into what solution you want to pursue.

When I saw therapy, this is what was most helpful for me. Being able to identify the underlying reasons for my feelings was a game changer for me.

load more comments (3 replies)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Be honest with people, tell them about everything and let them make the decision. Don't pressure them, avoid peer pressure in the family.

It's not shameful to ask for help. Just use the money for the intended purpose and I'd say it's alright.

Get well.

(Disclaimer: I'm not from the USA)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh, I would never pressure them! I'm kind of afraid to even ask in the first place which is why I posted this, so pressure isn't even a possibility.

load more comments (1 replies)

load more comments