A man goes to a stable and asks to buy the fastest horse they have available. The stable manager nods his head and brings him a fine and impressive stallion.
When the man asks how much the horse costs, he is staggered by the answer. "That's... That's half the price of almost any other horse here! Why is it so cheap?"
"Well, you see, the horse is blind" responds the stable manager. "But he's the fastest horse I've ever witnessed, no doubt about that. You just need to give him good directions. And don't bother hitting him, either. Just say Jesus if you want him to go, and Satan if you want him to stop. Go for Jesus, stop for Satan." In retrospect, there was a lot of Christian iconography around the stable the man hadn't noticed.
The man then asks for a test ride, and the stable manager agrees, as he has the man's credit card on hand. The man then says "Jesus", and the horse immediately bolts at speeds the man is genuinely amazed by. The world roars past him and the wind billows in his ears, all as this horse keeps running at full speed. The horse doesn't turn, only moving in a straight line dead ahead.
Suddenly, the man notices a cliff not too far away, but dead in the path of the horse. He reaches for the reins, but they billow in the wind and beat at his hands. He grabs them and tries to pull back, but the horse resists. The cliff keeps coming closer and closer, until the man finally remembers his instructions and yells "SATAN" at the top of his lungs. The horse stops alarmingly fast, knocking the man forward at the very edge of the cliff. The man then looks down, seeing just how high the cliff is, leading straight into a rocky valley.
He leans back in relief, having just avoided this terrible fate. With a hand on his heart, he can only murmur a tired "oh sweet jesus..."