this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2023
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Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 115 points 1 year ago (5 children)

The best ones show a port scan. The worst just show scrolling html source code.

[–] [email protected] 85 points 1 year ago

Trinity used NMAP and scanned for real known SSH vulnerabilities when hacking the power station in Matrix Reloaded.

[–] [email protected] 72 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The legendary ones show a "BREACH" at the target systems, in Red Bold Times New Roman font size 150.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 year ago

Extra point if they have the PowerPoint shuttle controls visible in the bottom-left corner.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

A serif font on a computer display?! Appalling! Sacrilegious!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The Dark Side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be…unnatural.

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[–] [email protected] 85 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

Go watch Mr Robot, it's great and does not do this

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

Been meaning to!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (8 children)

I am not a programmer by any means but I know enough to know they did their research.

Except Tyrell called it "nome" instead of "g'nome" and I'm pretty sure TOR exit nodes can only see unencrypted data and the entry node can only see who sent it.

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[–] [email protected] 78 points 1 year ago (7 children)
[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I remember a scene of such a crime movie that was at least funny for people used to computers and progrmmers.

The (old and seasoned) detectives were brought in contact with the new "cyber unit" of the police. Stored away in an otherwise empty office floor somewhere, they were the absolute movie style hackers: cluttered desks, sloppy outfit, beards. The old detectives were quite reluctant to work with those young "computer people" and had a lot of prejudices. Then, one of the detectives found a big red button on the desk and said "I wonder what happens when I press this button" - and presses it. And the "cyber guys": "DON'T!". The detective mocks them, and presses the button several times before he asks what the button actually does. Cyber guy: "That is our 'order pizza' button! I hope you've got enough money to pay for this...". Cut. Next scene: They are all eating pizza together from a desk-high stack of pizza boxes.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I was looking for a new project. pizza button would be neat.

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

You know, I've seen this dozens of times but I'm just realizing, at least assuming that's not a power bar (which would be odd since it matches the plug of the monitor or PC), since the monitor shut of straight away, he actually only unplugged the monitor. The PC should still be on and getting hacked.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yes, my favorite comment:

pulls out the power cord for the monitor

Job done!

followed by:

Attacker must have had 5 people on the keyboard.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

What is that a video game?

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[–] [email protected] 67 points 1 year ago (2 children)

If it's even that. Most of the time it's non-nonsensical gibberish.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I was watching a show recently where someone was writing code, and it was actually C++ code. I actually did the exact pose in the meme.

Of course, he was writing it inhumanly fast, and he always seemed to be writing the start of a new file. But I liked that it was actually code and not just The Matrix-style jibberish

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (3 children)

When I made a short film about an AI I was writing C# into visual studio as my coding. It was actual video game code that was for something like AI pathfinding or something, so I tried to make it somewhat accurate.

Not sure why movies can't spend a grand on a programing consultant to actually write them some hacking-ish code for the scenes.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 year ago (2 children)

My guess is that they just don't care to spend the time on it when the majority of people wouldn't even notice. But of course those of us that would notice would really appreciate it.

As a guitar player, it equally irritates me when the person "playing" the guitar has clearly never touched a guitar in their life. Similarly, when an actor is actually playing it, I really appreciate it.

Off topic, but I once walked in while my wife was watching some anime where the guitars were all extremely accurate, like down to what tuning pegs they would have had for the era the guitars were from. They must have motion captured all of the guitar playing from when they recorded the music, or at least took video of their hands, because they animated it perfectly. Down to the tapping parts and everything. It was jaw dropping. I made her start the whole show over from episode one so I could watch it.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The show Mr. Robot did that, they used real 0-day exploits for their hacking scenes!

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sounds like hackertyper.net

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

That's likely exactly what it was.

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[–] [email protected] 60 points 1 year ago (1 children)

sudo apt-get install hackerman

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You actually don't need the -get anymore

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's recommended for script usage

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago (4 children)

What if jumping off a bridge was recommended for script usage?

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Don't test me, I'll do it.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Easy, export BRIDGE_BEHAVIOR=legacy and pretend nothing changed until everything one day breaks horribly in production.

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 year ago (2 children)

sees them using Assembly

okay this probably doesn't make sense but I'm too lazy to prove it

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Don't forget the ridiculous amount of beeping and other sounds when characters fly over the screen at twice the speed of light!

[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 year ago

He is building Firefox from source, don't worry

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago (10 children)

As an actress, that's nonsense, if hacking scenes in movies are fake, then how do you explain this documentary I watched where this hacker man hacked a kung fu fighting cop back in time to kill Hitler (and David Hasselhoff was there for some reason, too)?

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wait, you guys don't update your system and install random packages before going on a hacking spree?

What have I been doing all this time?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Do we have a "itsaunixsystem" community here?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Yes, but it looks like it's been inactive for a while:

[email protected]

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago

Running "top" is also some common thing.

So, when I got a bunch of free serial WYSE terminals ages ago, I propped them up on the shelf, daisy-chained them, wrote a wrapper to be able to address all four screens through one UART, and had them display (and regularly update) system stats. Just because.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I recently started rewatching Gundam Wing, and one of the computer screens with fast scrolling text was just scrolling through the Readme of either old Adobe Software or old Printer software (I don't remember which).

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[–] Sabre363 17 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The only hacking that ever felt plausible to me was in Mr. Robot.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's almost always just htop and/or hackertyper and/or the fancy matrix effect

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

I thought the bash history in tron: legacy was kind of clever. There was stuff like vi last_will_and_testament.txt before the computer ducking command. I remember being surprised some prop designer knew enough about computers to set up that easter egg. Although I think I was reading that they contracted out the design of the OS to some team or something.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Try being a medical biologist watching outbreak/pandemic films. It's fucking painful to watch.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

Funnily enough I have to hide terminal windows when updating while I'm around any of my less tech savy friends who think it's scary or creepy. I really dislike them portraying this as "hacking".

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I think that most of the time even if they know what it would look like in the real world, movie creators intentionally make it look silly - I guess mostly for the entertainment value, or as kind of a joke in the lines of "let's see how absurd we can make it before your grandma notices something's not right".

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