this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2023
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[–] csm10495 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I live in the US and am as white-washed as can be. My fiancé is Mien. Her family does some traditional rituals that I have never seen before. They speak a Mien language that doesn't have great translations online, and only minimal in books. Often the language has some English or Thai words thrown in. They do a ritual called 'Seit Mien' (which I'm definitely spelling wrong.). Here are some culture shocks from it:

They bring in a Shaman to the home, who chants in a Traditional Chinese dialect that no one understands (or pays any attention to while he does his thing). When he's there they usually slaughter a chicken (day of.. I get a bit sad when I see it still alive eating cereal in the backyard) as part of a sacrifice. Bigger events could warrant a pig. The biggest event can warrant a cow, though you never go to the cow first since it can upset the ancestors. Apparently you do a chicken, if that doesn't work, a pig, if that doesn't work, a cow. Our wedding is not a big enough event for a cow. So whatever we sacrifice, in theory goes to the ancestors to eat.. or something like that. Thankfully, the food is not wasted as the living humans will also eat it.

Her mother has said that one time she forgot to do a sacrifice for something and the ancestors came and gave her stomach pains until she did the proper sacrifice.

For Lunar New Year its a multi-hundred pound pig. Usually it is sitting raw and cut into 4 pieces on a table in the living room while the Shaman chants.. and others watch TV over him chanting. Most of the Shaman we've met speak little to no English. I wish I could ask them more questions about what they're doing, etc.

When something bad happens they'll call the Shaman to organize an ad-hoc 'Seit Mien'. Sometimes they'll have the front door open to allow the bad.. spirits?.. to leave the house. One time I walked in the door during that and got yelled at since I guess we were supposed to use the garage entrance that day.

Moving into the backyard, for big events there could be someone burning paper that is specially stamped by hand the night before. I've seen a tree almost catch fire from the paper fire. The paper being burned sends money to the ancestors.

Even rarer is other folks coming over during this whole thing and smoking from makeshift PVC pipes in the backyard. I asked what they're smoking.. we don't really know.

After all this, if its a big enough crowd, the men sit at one table and the women sit at another table. The women basically wait for the men. It's very subservient and odd to me. Usually i get invited to sit with the men, but I'd rather sit wherever my fiancé goes which is usually with the younger people table (which has all genders invited).

All of these events happen on auspicious days calculated from some form of a Traditional Chinese calendar.

She used to have a pet rabbit who would walk around the house freely. We would often joke that the Shaman would be excited because they thought he (the rabbit) would be dinner. .. thankfully he wasn't dinner.

All in all its a really interesting culture that I'm happy to be a part of... I love my fiancé and her family. thought still a bit culture-shocked by it years later... it'll be quite a shock bringing my mom to our Mien wedding soon enough. That'll be her first firsthand experience with all this.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

South American bidets.

Not the pathetic little add-on ones you sometimes see in Australia, but stand alone bidets with enough water pressure for the water jet to touch the roof of the bathroom! A shot of high power jet of water to the crotch at 3am when I was only half awake is something I will not forget in a hurry!

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