Millennials these days don't even know how to neglect and terrorize their kids!
this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2023
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Millennials: killing the 'neglected elderly' industry!
No no, those neglecting parents dug their own neglected elderly hole...
Yeah, how dare I, degreed, spend every waking moment earning a roof and food, clothing and health care/wellness care for my kid!
Why should you need to spend all your waking moments earning enough money for those things?
So billionaires and international corporations can get tax breaks, I guess. Also I didn’t get child support. A trifling amount, but it would have helped, at least with diapers, at that time.
Whoo, does this put me in a good mood.
My dad did his best considering he lost his dad at 14, so I don't blame him too much. But if there was something I knew I'd do one day as a dad (currently have a 4-year-old daughter) it'd be spending free time with her.
My generation isn't the best, but I knew this was a statistic we'd slam dunk.
High five!
I’m with you on this all the way. My dad did, and continues to do, his best. But as an elder millennial (I was born in 81, and as best I can tell that’s what I am, I guess), as I got older it felt like our generation was collectively fucked up about a lot of the same stuff - whatever the reason. And we were making many of the same promises to ourselves.
My dad loves my two kids more than anything in this world, but there’s a definite feel of redemption-seeking there. Or maybe just trying to soothe regrets.
I have a preteen and a toddler, and for different reasons I held both of them close yesterday. I begged my brain to remember these moments when I’m my dad’s age, because I’ve been able to be there for almost every leg of the journey so far. I really don’t want it to start to all just blend together, because right now it feels so special and unique to have this opportunity.
Another 40+ with a toddler here. I swear it was just the other day I was holding up a bottle for her, now she's talking in full-freakin sentences. The other day was a very eventful one: tumbling class, day at the park, went for a swim at the pool. Shortly after dinner, the wife and I were just chatting a little about our day and she comes up, looks right up at us and exclaims "I NEED TO GO TO BED" :)
I am looking forward to the day we can go on a bicycle backpacking trip together, but for now she rides in tow on mine, and I know, one day, I'm really going to miss that too.
The bicycle backpack thing could happen quicker than you think. In 1985, when he was 8, I took my son on a 200 km golf trip by bicycle. Every day ended with 9 holes of golf played with a shared set of 4 clubs (something you can get away with on pasture courses where fees are on the honour system). One day with favourable winds we did 100km and 18 holes. We slept good that night!
He still talks about it!
High five back!
I'm 86, but I feel you. Before he passed, my dad played with his granddaughter in a similar fashion. My theory was, he saw how involved I (and my peers) was and realized it wasn't too late.
I think it'll help me out that my hobbies are likely to be the hobbies my kid has. When they see me playing Minecraft or something and they ask to play, I'll be able to just slide them a controller or hand them my phone to play on or something and we can build a house together.
Not surprised. Loving your kids is now socially acceptable for men. But loving kids in general is not yet socially acceptable for men, sadly.
We really need more men in childrens lives again. I remember growing up with male teachers in my elementary and grammar schools. That is essentially gone these days
I quit my job as IT Manager 18 months ago and have been mainly stay-at-home as a 42 yr old dad. I've been volunteering at their school so much the office offered me a paid spot next year as a substitute / general Kindergarten helper. I'm built like a caveman and get 'Kindergarten Cop' jokes, but enjoy spending time with the Kindergarteners so much. It's incredible to see their progress from no knowing letters to writing sentences by the end of the year.
it's the end of masculinity!!! the wokea genda is makbing me cvhcange DIAPERS!!! i have TO CARE ABOUT MY CHILD!!!
Well it’s not everyday that I see a positive rate of change from one generation to the next. I love my child and will spend whatever moment I can with them.
Its probably a subconscious thing, but I spend lots of time with my child BECAUSE both my parents didn't spend time with me and I miss what I didn't have. Plus, I just love my child and naturally want to spend time with them.
Same. I remember my dad "too busy" to spend time with me. I don't blame him per se. Just trying to do better.
I can confirm. I’ve changed 5 diapers in the last 24 hrs. I love my kids and love spending time with them.
Right? Spending time with my kids is just the best. I have no idea why previous generations of men were okay with giving up on the best part of being an adult
Are you feeling us some of those diapers are yours??
I think my father-in-law largely fell into that first category. However, since having our twins, he's probably changed more diapers in the last year and a half than with his own three kids combined. He's all in now, so I don't know if it's just because times have changed or if its out of guilt, but it'd be interesting to see some data on other grandparents and their involvement.
That's awesome!
If I ever have kids, I'll definitely be spending more time with them. I was pretty seriously neglected as a kid (which led to some major abuse that wasn't noticed) and it's taken 7 years of therapy for me to realize how much that neglect fucked me up. Turns out that you can't raise a healthy kid if you're out on business trips more than you're home (like my dad, home 2 days every 2 months), or smoking lots of weed, drinking, and abusing amphetamine weight loss pills (like my mom, sometimes home but never present).
Neglect fucks people up. Millennials know this, and we don't want to fuck up our innocent kids.
As a millennial who just had a baby girl, I can't imagine being so disconnected that I hadn't changed a diaper.
I think parenting in general for both sexes is more involved and the expectations are much higher that it was for our parents. Making sure you get x tummy time or do y development activity or z social development classes with other babies etc.
I also think parents today are having kids more by personal choice than societal pressure. So they are more engaged and less "just going through the motions of what society expects".
One good thing I've seen lately is that men bathrooms in public spaces more often than not have a diaper changer. When my kid was a baby we had to check beforehand to know if I could change the diapers or my wife would have to do it.
Millennial dad here. I try to spend as much time with my kids as possible. It’s frustrating not being able to just do what you want to do at times but I want my kids to know I enjoy spending time with them more than putting myself first.
My father proudly states that he didn't change a single diaper for me or my siblings. My eldest spends one day a week with them, and he still refuses to change diapers saying that's "women's work".
I, on the other hand, have no problems changing diapers. I will ask my wife for help if there's a bad blowout though.
Ever ask why he's so afraid of getting his hands dirty and suggest maybe he should man up?
Don't intend disrespect, but that sounds so sad, for multiple reasons.
I suspect that more than half of them change a diaper on the very first day - assuming that you spend the night at the hospital and that you keep your baby with you instead of in the nursery (which I believe is the trend nowadays) there are going to be a whole bunch of those disgusting sticky newborn diapers to change.
11 times in the first 24 hours. 11. Times. My wife was recovering and I didn't want her to do any more work than she had to. By the 9th or so we just started bursting out laughing because what else can you do
This news makes me so fucking happy. What a wonderful thing to learn this morning.
It's crazy to me just how much praise I got from my mother in law when I would immediately change my newborn's diaper or really do anything my wife had asked when we brought the baby home. I signed up for literally all of this when I got married and we decided to have kids.
What a wild world we live in in which doing the absolute bare minimum to support your significant other and your child is met with praise.
I wonder what the stats are for millennial moms. They have probably got a 100% rate on "has changed diapers", but I'm curious about how their time with children has evolved.
I read millennial moms spent more time with their children, but a lot of it was in front of a screen. I'll have to find the sources.
i live in another country so i have to call my ma a lot
Not surprised to hear this. I'm planning on having children with my wife soon and we are planning to split responsibilities as equally as possible. I've already changed a handful of friends kids diapers so already got that box checked lol
43% to 3%. Good on us! I want to know what these other 3% are up to.
My wife lost her job at the beginning of the pandemic. So she became a stay-at-home mom to our daughter - thinking it's just be a temporary thing. I got to watch the struggle first hand while I worked from home. Kids are so unbelievably hard and there are absolutely no breaks. It's unbelievable to me that we as men would just put that all on our wives. I get that things are different now. How we survive is different. But I'm glad that my generation has not only men who are willing to listen and help, but also women who are willing to speak up. I don't think my mom ever did that.
We had another kid in 2021. I step away from work to change every poopy diaper. It's the least I can do.
My Gen X brother is, in his own son's words, "a way way way better father" than our own dad had been.
As a heavily involved genx dad, the number of times I was asked if I was "babysitting" was far too high. Infuriating
No, actually, I'm literally the full time parent taking parental leave, thanks for asking! :)
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