this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2024
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[–] [email protected] 38 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

Wild turkeys fly very short distances, kinda like a jump on the moon. They freak out and sling feathers everywhere, travel in groups, and collectively make a fuck-ton of noise.

I’m pretty sure we started eating them just to shut them the fuck up.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 days ago (2 children)

collectively make a fuck-ton of noise

Wow, they really are the perfect mascot for the US

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago

Nah, bald eagles are thieves & bullies.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

We started eating them because they are delicious.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Turkey tastes like packing material. We started eating them because we were starving in the wilderness.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Damn, you've either had horrible turkeys, or you have delicious packing material. That said, I read in The Tenth Legion, which is a book by a legendary turkey hunter, that compared to wild turkey, farmed turkeys taste like compressed cardboard. So I guess you're onto something. Try a free-range turkey next time, or a wild turkey if you're able.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Someone was just posting yesterday about how wild turkeys taste like shit compared to farmed turkeys.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago

They have almost no fat, so you have to cook them correctly or they're awful. But if you cook them correctly they're delicious.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Maybe not far, but they can. I’ve seen a pack? Gaggle? Fly over a fence. I’ve seen one fly up into a tree as well

Source: there’s turkeys all over my city

[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 days ago (5 children)

Wild turkeys can fly short distances. Domesticated turkeys can't because they've been bred to have huge breasts

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 days ago

Hubba hubba

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

I have huge breasts, Greg. Could you breed me?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

Like big ol bags of sand.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

A lot of people in this thread claiming that turkeys can fly, are not realizing that in context of this meme the turkeys were tossed from a helicopter. Makes a difference.

[–] prettybunnys 2 points 3 days ago

Also they were the over fed industrial farmed ones

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 days ago (1 children)

They can fly, but more so to get up in a tree than to go somewhere. Source is that I used to have turkeys until some stray dogs killed them all.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

They will definitely fly to get away. They can fly 50 mph, which is crazy for a 30 lb bird.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Yeah I meant like they're not gonna fly long distances

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago (2 children)

That's true, but I think it's amazing that they can fly at all, let alone fly wicked fast.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

wicked fast

Are you from Boston?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 days ago

I am from the 80's and 90's, when "wicked" was a commonly used adjective in pop culture.

[–] Piemanding 2 points 4 days ago

You'd have to fly that fast if their wingspan isn't large enough. Would probably have to be like 20-30 ft for a 30 lb bird.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 days ago

They're plummetting to earth like sacks of wet cement!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago

Turkeys can fly! Up to 50 mph!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] DaCrazyJamez 5 points 5 days ago

If you throw em hard enough

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

Bailey > Jennifer

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

I'm even in Cincinnati!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago

I was blown away when I first saw a wild chicken fly. I always thought they were flightless because I had only seen domesticated chickens up to that point.

Wild turkeys can also fly, and those things are all over Mariposa.