this post was submitted on 03 Sep 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 81 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 months ago

I'm straight, but 12kg of free, fresh Wisconsin cheese might open me to negotiations.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago
[–] Assman 15 points 2 months ago

Dating in Wisconsin

[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You cant just post something wild and not provide a source, I want to read this book.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Looks like "The Complete Book of Magic and Witchcraft" by Kathryn Paulsen.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

I couldn't verify it but that's the name I found too.

Edit: goddamn a used mass market paperback copy is $50 on eBay. Nevermind I guess I won't be getting burned at the stake.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

that got a lot worse in the 2nd sentence

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

Good old archive.org to the rescue

Still though, I've never been a big fan of ebooks. As terminally online as I am, I've never been able to get into it.

Just a different vibe I guess

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[–] Sadrockman 4 points 2 months ago

Not with that attitude.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

What!? Witchcraft? Magic? I don't believe in that bullshit, but you most definitely can win a woman's heart with cheese. That's just a scientific fact.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's true. I once gave a woman cheese, and we were fucking within 10 minutes.

We also planned to hookup that night already, but it had to be the cheese.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Was it some sort of blind hookup Tinder-like, and the "password" was a real, actual piece of cheese?
Like with spy craft, "I'll be at the plaza at 10pm, sitting on the bench in front of the fountain. I will be wearing a Gary Coleman "OBEY" t-shirt and carrying a dark green backpack. You will ask me for a piece of cheese".

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Nothing like that. I just offered to get some cheese for a pre-hookup snack.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Wanna grab some cheese before we bone?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

"Before we bone, I must tell you... I ate radishes earlier. Perhaps you should, too."
And that's how you get on equal footing before jumping into the sack.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

That's rad... ish

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And here I thought I had to share her interests and perform thoughtful acts. Cheat code unlocked.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

I mean, if you have a shared interest in cheese this probably counts as a thoughtful act.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

I think this can work with men too. I know this because I am a man and love cheese. I love cheese so much that I go through the pain of being lactose intolerant just to eat me some of that cheese.

[–] sentient_loom 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I hope some insane person has tried all these things.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

That would attract far too many women.

[–] Gullible 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

β€œBaby, stop running. I have muenster!”

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

If she's running she doesn't know what muenster is If she does know what it is and still runs, shes possibly insane and you are both better off

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That whole page is full of wild shit.

[–] sentient_loom 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

So you've tried these techniques and they didn't work? Or have you not tried them at all?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (5 children)

I haven't tried them all, but I just gave my wife a Kraft Singles slice, and she is completely fascinated with it, going, "What the hell am I supposed to do with this?"

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[–] pkmkdz 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Bro tried them all but has skill issue

[–] sentient_loom 5 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I always just pick up one of those double-packs of condoms and cheese on date night. You know, the no-Babybel Bundle.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I know several women this would work on.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Fellas, if you're girl is skinny, tall, red , works at a charity to make someone smile 😬, is. Obsessed with πŸ…±οΈheese, that's not your grill, that's Elan from family guy! 😀

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

I need the text highlighted please, I've no idea what anyone is talking about...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Book written by Charlie Kelly

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Thank God I kept all the left shoes as a token!

(This is a joke)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Burn what after you have perspired heavily in and introduce it to the food or drink of a man?!?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Keep her fascinated even longer with some Himalayan chewy cheese!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago
[–] DudeImMacGyver 2 points 2 months ago

I gave my partner cheese and we've been together for almost ten years, this is probably true.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago
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