this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2024
458 points (97.1% liked)

NonCredibleDefense

6679 readers
710 users here now

A community for your defence shitposting needs

Rules

1. Be niceDo not make personal attacks against each other, call for violence against anyone, or intentionally antagonize people in the comment sections.

2. Explain incorrect defense articles and takes

If you want to post a non-credible take, it must be from a "credible" source (news article, politician, or military leader) and must have a comment laying out exactly why it's non-credible. Low-hanging fruit such as random Twitter and YouTube comments belong in the Matrix chat.

3. Content must be relevant

Posts must be about military hardware or international security/defense. This is not the page to fawn over Youtube personalities, simp over political leaders, or discuss other areas of international policy.

4. No racism / hatespeech

No slurs. No advocating for the killing of people or insulting them based on physical, religious, or ideological traits.

5. No politics

We don't care if you're Republican, Democrat, Socialist, Stalinist, Baathist, or some other hot mess. Leave it at the door. This applies to comments as well.

6. No seriousposting

We don't want your uncut war footage, fundraisers, credible news articles, or other such things. The world is already serious enough as it is.

7. No classified material

Classified ‘western’ information is off limits regardless of how "open source" and "easy to find" it is.

8. Source artwork

If you use somebody's art in your post or as your post, the OP must provide a direct link to the art's source in the comment section, or a good reason why this was not possible (such as the artist deleting their account). The source should be a place that the artist themselves uploaded the art. A booru is not a source. A watermark is not a source.

9. No low-effort posts

No egregiously low effort posts. E.g. screenshots, recent reposts, simple reaction & template memes, and images with the punchline in the title. Put these in weekly Matrix chat instead.

10. Don't get us banned

No brigading or harassing other communities. Do not post memes with a "haha people that I hate died… haha" punchline or violating the sh.itjust.works rules (below). This includes content illegal in Canada.

11. No misinformation

NCD exists to make fun of misinformation, not to spread it. Make outlandish claims, but if your take doesn’t show signs of satire or exaggeration it will be removed. Misleading content may result in a ban. Regardless of source, don’t post obvious propaganda or fake news. Double-check facts and don't be an idiot.


Join our Matrix chatroom


Other communities you may be interested in


Banner made by u/Fertility18

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 253 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Russia went from being the second best military in the world, to being the second best militarily in Ukraine, to being the second best military in Russia.

[–] [email protected] 60 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Russia turned out to be world's best paper tiger

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago (3 children)

That's probably still China, lots of money invested but their actual combat movements look horrific. Their special forces are legit very good though.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

A billion people and the largest basic manufacturing capability full stop scares the bejesus out of me, I don't care if they can't march straight.

I also have no reason to expect they're anywhere near as incompetent. Probably just normal dictatorship levels.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago

second best military in the world

On paper, at least...

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Then they'll become the second best military in Ukraine after being annexed.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Second best military in West Alaska*

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Aren't they third in Russia? Wagner is definitely above them.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Wagner is only as independent as Putin allows

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Yeah, didn't they fold it up entirely over that whole "tried to overthrow the government" thing?

[–] [email protected] 138 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Red Alert 2 Chronosphere

The Chronosphere was a mass teleportation device developed by the Allies during the Second World War. An improved version was used to decisively end the Third World War and was used further until the end of the Psychic Dominator Disaster. Albert Einstein was a notable contributor to the Chronosphere's design.

Good times.

[–] mindbleach 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Albert Einstein was a notable contributor to the Chronosphere’s design.

"You know vat would be sick? Ein grosse Plasmakugel. Cover up how boring ze solid-state temporal destabilizers look. Vonderful efficiency, but mein Gott, have some showmanship."

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (2 children)

The starting cinematic of Einstein killing Hitler made the game awesome.

[–] mindbleach 3 points 3 months ago

Weirdly understated, for the same franchise that gave us Comrade Tim Curry devouring the scenery.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 76 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Let’s make it smaller and put it into a backpack. We equip our soldiers with it and call them Chrono Legionnaires. They will be the most OP bull-fucking-shit units in the history of anything.

Yes, I’m still salty for getting swarmed by them that one time in multiplayer. Fuck you, whoever came up with this.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Yeah but you have to sneak them in close to the enemy base, otherwise they take their sweet-ass time rematerializing, and all 37 of them that you had spent several minutes of clicking to plan out who will attack what building get slaughtered without a single one firing their weapon.

And if you miss all the "poof.... Pooof.... Poof..." right next to your base... You deserve it. Send a bunch of grunts or dogs in wherever they gather and they'll all be dead long before you need to worry.

I legitimately don't like those units because they're so weak and specialized, I never really get a chance to utilize them right

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

This is 100% true. But I was a child. Those were my first steps into online gaming. Yes, I am aware it’s been over 20 years and I refuse to let go of the past.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

Oof. I feel that.

My first foray into any gaming was Alpha Centauri. Had no idea what to do and my dad is shit at explaining anything. To this day I cannot stand the series or even turn-based strategy games.

I think my first online experience was Left for Dead, and a teammate startled a witch within 30 seconds of starting the very first level. Instant hatred of witches and actively tried to dissuade people from messing with them.

Nowadays I toss a pipe bomb ahead of myself while pumping away with my shotgun and half the time I down them before they can stand up fully. Mostly so I can traumatize my friends who are still on the hate train.

Slightly related, I found out that unless you check the "limit superweapons" box in Generals, your opponent will likely just spam a shitload of superweapons, so it won't matter that they suck at strategy, because they can just wait 5 minutes, click 20 times and have your entire base leveled.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

More like

*Existential screaming*

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago

Even better if you put them in IFVs - extra armor, faster movement and I think longer weapon range, and when the IFV eventually gets destroyed you still have a Chrono Legionnaire.

[–] [email protected] 70 points 3 months ago (6 children)

You like pondering orbs, don’t you?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Where can I find this? Preferably metal (radioactiveness optional) or maybe a file for 3d printable?

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I don’t know where to get the 3d model, I just have this picture, but here is some Cobalt 60 I found!

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago

Cinnamon^60^ sounds delicious

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

It's definitely a print, from the striations. Here's one popular model.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago

I'll gladly ponder my chronosphere.

[–] JohnDClay 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

That the "demon core"? If so, don't remove the keychain.

[–] [email protected] 67 points 3 months ago (15 children)

Don't hit me back after I hit you. After I hit you repeatedly. And after I killed your families. And after I destroyed your infrastructure and mined your country.

Don't hit me back. Please.

load more comments (15 replies)
[–] [email protected] 56 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Russia is too big to just call it West Alaska. You'll need to divide it up a little. You'll need: New Karelia, East Poland, North Ukraine, and West Alaska.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 40 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Thank fuck I'm in the timeline where Tim Curry isn't a Russian general.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Otherwise we could escape to the one place that isn't corrupted by capitalism:

     _______..______      ___       __    ______  _______  __  
    /       ||   _  \    /   \     |  |  /      ||   ____||  | 
   |   (----`|  |_)  |  /  ^  \    |  | |  ,----'|  |__   |  | 
    \   \    |   ___/  /  /_\  \   |  | |  |     |   __|  |  | 
.----)   |   |  |     /  _____  \  |  | |  `----.|  |____ |__| 
|_______/    | _|    /__/     \__\ |__|  \______||_______|(__) 
                                                               
[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

i would fuck with west alaska ngl.

[–] chickenf622 5 points 3 months ago

If Russia had Kirovs we would all be speaking Russian

load more comments
view more: next ›