Facepalm

When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art. You should now feel mentally invigorated.

This looks like, and “Wellness room” sounds like, a gender neutral term for a lactation room.

The description in that Wikipedia article sounds much nicer and more elaborate than what we actually had at my last office.

My former employer had a relaxation room that looked like this.
It was sound-proof and had a massage chair in it.

The door to the room was within direct line of sight of the boss's desk.
I tried going in there once, but the boss called me over and gave me more work.

The first thing I did the moment I saw this was imagine seeing this in Portal, and hearing GLaDOS say something like "Welcome to the Aperture Science wellness room, where test subjects can de-stress after a long day of testing"

This is some real life Severance shit.

Severance-core

im almost certain this is a breastfeeding/pumping room, but given a neutral name

Either way, it seems like a nice place to take 10 and scroll on my phone for a minute so i support it

the real question would be what sort of limitations does your employer have around it?

Ive worked at places that had ping pong tables and videogame stations in the break room but if you only get a 30min break for a 8 hour shift when are you meant to use these "happiness and welness" facilities

Place I used to work at had a room labeled "Safe Space" that I can only assume was mandated by corporate because the store manager hung a framed photo of a snowflake on the wall in it. He wasn't there for very much longer, wonder why?

The chair gives +15 comfort and the painting gives +20 inspiration and if there's at least one empty tile next to it the effect covers a 50m radius so I don't see the problem???

You pepper a few of these on every floor and as long as you don't overuse Crunch Time, this will carry you through the midgame with basically zero upkeep.

Wellness rooms are OP if anything tbh.

By Terraria rules, that's a house fit for a princess

Why aren't people enjoying the wellness ~~closet~~ room? I specifically requested it.

Looks like a Dwarf Fortress bedroom

I used to hide in a literal storage room when i worked at walmart (I wanted to be away from all people on my breaks). At least this has a comfy chair.

I am an engineer that does power design for commercial spaces. These "wellness" rooms show up a lot. They are there simply so your corporate overlords can tick a little box under "workplace atmosphere" and add it to the list of bullshit features on their website no employee ever actually uses. It's very similar to "mother's rooms", only those can be considered code compliant based on your location. Sometimes they are also called "phone rooms."

I think architects upsell them into designs to boost their self esteem.

It's a lot like when old apartment buildings gut a storage room, put a few pieces of shitty gym equipment in it, and then add "on site fitness center" to the website, and also tack a small monthly fee on your rent.

If I had a dollar for every existing office space I've surveyed that ended up just piling office supplies in them, or found them covered in 3 inches of dust... I'd probably have like $100. Not a ton, but enough to definitely make them seem ridiculous.

How am I supposed to jerk off in there?

The design is very human.

It's a literal requirement in many commercial buildings. They're for breastfeeding in the code of many municipalities, but you can't call them booby rooms so they're "wellness rooms". A commercial space I was looking at required 2 nursing/wellness rooms because of the size. For a team of 10 dudes. Ridiculous

When what you really need to relax is the comfort of white noise from the air ducts in the walls, florescent lighting and a sense that not only does time not pass, but it doesn't even exist. Enjoy your mental health liminal space, employees.

When you feel well, go there.

This has severance vibes

That's where your wellness goes to die I believe

If you pad the walls with sound proof material and allowing people to scream and shout till their lungs burst, then it becomes a real wellness room

To be fair, this is the perfect room for Eustace from Courage the Cowardly Dog. It's just missing a TV and a newspaper.

I remember this scene from Severance.

Looks like I took a wrong turn in the Stanley Parable

It's the existential dread room.

To be fair, I'd be absolutely vibing in a room like this. Probably wouldn't help a panic attack though.

Why do these rooms that are supposed to be good for your mental health always look so vapid and empty? Pure white walls and black sofas are depressing to me.

It’s almost complete… just need to add a camera.

straight out of The Stanley Parable