this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2024
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I'm struggling to figure out how to make friends without having Instagram or any other social media. I have discord but don't use it much. I see all my acquaintances in discord channels and sharing Instagram posts and stuff. It's already hard for me to make friends, but I feel like not having any of the traditional social media means I'm not included in any of that stuff.

Do you just accept that Instagram and shit are the way people interact and use it?

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You need to find people that share a common interest with you, like a hobby or sport. That way there is some activity that you can do with them instead of just keeping in touch via social media. I have a regular casual basketball group that I literally don’t interact with online except when scheduling pickup games, but when we do meet up to play, we hang out over dinner afterwards. Same with another set of people that I meet during happy hours in my career field.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I guess that's just not what I'm looking for. I have a couple people I do activities with. But that's not really a connection. I don't know. I guess I'm just depressed, but it's more than just that. I need some kind of lasting and consistent human connection.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

It takes time to build friendships. If you meet people for an activity that's a start, but if you don't feel like any of them are friend material (or they're too busy) you need to branch out. Try finding a larger/different group that does that activity, or better yet, try out something else.

Volunteering tends to be a great starting point.

Friendships often start with a leap of faith of sorts - you hang out in a given context, and at some point somebody takes the next step (wanna grab a beer/grab lunch/come for dinner/go to the game/whatever)

You kind of do things that are a bit ahead of your current level of friendship, and then if it works out you've managed to upgrade.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Ride a bike. Touch grass. You'll meet someone eventually...

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

During my days on Reddit, I've had some hangouts with quite a few people with whom I shared some really niche interests. Good times.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

OP how old are you?

And I mean age range. Not exact age.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Based on their other comment, I'd guess mid 30s.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 months ago

I use a 3D game like territory for it. Oh, the name of this is real life.

[–] fruitycoder 0 points 5 months ago

Linux users groups Maker spaces Artisian guilds (metal working, wood working, etc) Clubs Volunteer with places Get involved in local politics Work a career and network with people

Etc

Social media honestly is very lack luster in mak8ng deeper friendships to me

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 months ago

Go to a pub, get drunk.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

Go to a real supermarket (without ordering online!).

Wait until you see a random person there.

Smile and say "Nice butt!"

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[–] [email protected] -2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You don't. For what I've seen is something people are born with it, the perk to make friends in every situation... my younger brother have dozens of friends, actual friends, I have 0. I just live with it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

That's how I've always felt. I've always been the friend of those people. I've only ever made 1 actual, deep connection with a person. And it's deeeeep. And I couldn't tell you how it happened. But I partly feel like I'm losing that, and I won't ever be able to get it back, or replicate it with someone else.

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