this post was submitted on 20 May 2024
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politics

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[–] [email protected] 208 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Bruh the only politician who has been flattened in the past 24 hours was Ebrahim Raisi.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Bruh the only politician who has been flattened in the past 24 hours was Ebrahim Raisi.

too soon. also... was he flattened? or is he more of a smear?

[–] [email protected] 28 points 6 months ago (1 children)

It's schmear, we are civilized here.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

Got a bagel?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago

too soon

No such thing.

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[–] [email protected] 99 points 6 months ago (1 children)

“MSNBC Hosts Express Mild Disapproval for Thing That Trump Will Face Zero Consequences for Saying”

There, fixed the headline.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

"MSNBC hosts... Oh nevermind. No one, left, right, or center, cares what they have to say on that network."

[–] [email protected] 61 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Well at least nobody got slammed

[–] [email protected] 23 points 6 months ago

He was flattened, but since his skin is made stitched-together whoopee cushions, he sprang back into shape as the gas built up.

[–] [email protected] 56 points 6 months ago (2 children)

What was he flattened with?

[–] [email protected] 50 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Flattened is what finally happens after you’ve been slammed too many times

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago (4 children)
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[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 48 points 6 months ago

fLaTtEnEd

i'm so fucking tired

[–] [email protected] 44 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (3 children)

I wonder if the Secret Service has evaluated scenarios where a former president tries to assassinate the sitting president?

It's probably not totally impossible given the history of humanity with kings and warlords and whatnot.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

It's not "tries to assassinate" it's "tries to have assassinated". Something tells me Trump couldn't assassinate a stuff deer.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

This is more like "won't somebody rid me of this troublesome president?"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

If the Secret Service existed when Andrew Jackson was the President, we would already have had this figured out.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Fun fact, the secret service was around for almost 30 years before they started doing presidential security, and it took the assassination of McKinley before they were officially in charge of presidential security. They were founded as an anti-counterfeiting arm of the Treasury.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (4 children)

That is a fun fact. A personal fun fact is I remember that the Secret Service is part of the Treasury department because of the cult classic, Wild Wild West.

Edit: spell check

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Life Pro Tip.

Never mention any movie with Salma Hyack without providing visual evidence.

https://youtu.be/R3cVXPTzngo

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Mildly verbally criticized = flattened

How about a headline where he is arrested, held, charged, tried, and convicted? All much more convincing verbage.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Authoritarian strongman makes veiled threat against political opponent, followers feign ignorance

In other news, the sky is still blue

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Trump flattened

With a hydraulic press?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago

like and subscribe!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

That is a terrible thing to suggest, how sick and cruel to treat a hydraulic press in such a way. Even in jest!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Right, there are proper tools for this job, especially the one invented by the french

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Just compare him to Hitler already and be done with it, pussy-assed media.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Sadly, said flattening does not seem to have included a steamroller.

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