this post was submitted on 26 Feb 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 139 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 9 months ago

Good ol' Bobby Tables

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[–] [email protected] 81 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Yes, I'll name my child parent. This will reverse the tree, vertically.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago

It's Sims 2 all over again.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

And if they settle on they/them pronouns, you could have an inverted non-binary tree.

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[–] [email protected] 68 points 9 months ago (1 children)

What about Alice, Bob, and Eve?

[–] [email protected] 36 points 9 months ago (2 children)

They're currently shaking hands and too busy to let us borrow their names

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I love you so much NullPointerException

[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago

Oh no, we’ve lost NaN again!

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 9 months ago (3 children)

fun fact elif is a legit girl name in Turkish

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (4 children)

"Pointer, where are you?" Points at Parent, my other child

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

OOP issues LOL!

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Why no Ada or Janet? Or Haskell or Idris?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Ada is in fact named after a person, thus completing the circle.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 9 months ago

Elif is a feminine Turkish name :)

[–] [email protected] 28 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You know, OOP in Spanish translates as "Programación orientada a objetos" or POO in case you need it

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 9 months ago

"Yo shut the fuck up Linked list, you're annoying as hell"

[–] [email protected] 26 points 9 months ago

Little baby FORTRAN

[–] [email protected] 26 points 9 months ago (1 children)

A friend of mine named his dog Byte. The dog is very playful, and has the habit of running in the direction of other people he meets.

When the dog does that my friend tries to call him back shouting: "BYTE!! BYTE!!". People get really scared when this happens 😂

Okay, not so funny if you are the one being approached by the dog.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago

That's probably a little unethical but the mental image is absolutely hilarious.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Meet my kids, Sed and Awk.

[–] Alfi 19 points 9 months ago

And my dog, Cat.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 9 months ago (4 children)

"child" seems to be enough. short and concise.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

“Slave” works too.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Definitely naming my next dog Byte.

Edit: Petabyte!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago

Ah yes Julia, an unreasonably effective name to give your child

[–] SonicBlue03 17 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

This reminded me I haven't heard from my uncle Foo Bar in a while. (He spells it Fubar)

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Just name the kid Basic, hardly worse than the Trahgedhieghs running around today

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Just name your child Linus like we all do...

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago

How could they forget Pascal :/

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago

Oh yes, OOP, the namest of names

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago (2 children)

As a Python programmer I'll have to name my child Dictionary, of course.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (9 children)

Zig missing from the list is sad for very old meme reasons, too.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I'm naming mine 1337Code jr

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago

Nothing beats Bobby Tables.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago (3 children)

I'm naming my mid Iron Python and there's nothing you can do to stop me.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I like "Vectoria".

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Haskell? Curry? Maybe even Brooks.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Haskell is an awesome name for a baby

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Naming ~~things~~ kids is the hardest part of programming.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

This reminds me of an article I read about a guy whose last name was Null.

This isn't it but is the first one I found when looking.

https://www.wired.com/2015/11/null/

The story is pretty much what you would expect but still an amusing read.

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