This shit post is a shit post. Perfection.

Compared with people who pooped once a day, constipated participants had significantly worse cognition equivalent to three years more of chronological cognitive aging, the authors found. Increased risk was also found among those who pooped more than twice daily, though these higher odds were small.

Not pooping often enough? Jail. Pooping too often? Believe it or not, also jail

This surely makes me a fucking genius

kind of obvious to say ig but correlation =/= causation. for ex: fiber, (the plant material in our diets that is undigestable by us, but is digestible by the healthy bacteria in our intestines) both leads to a healthy "gut microbiome" while having the side effect of making your poops bigger and softer, such that it is easier for your intestines to push it through your digestive system.

Still, in case anyone was wondering, you are supposed to be pooping, aka "having bowel movements" ~~once every day~~ 2-3 times every day. If you aren't that regular, you may need to eat more beans & grains and less processed foods & meats

OP's making anti-shitposts... Get him!

I poop once a year but it takes all year. How do we classify that?

I poop like 3 times a day or more. Almost always about 30 minutes after I eat. I poop when I wake up. I'll poop 1 or two times at work. I'll poop usually about an hour before bed. I poop when I walk around walmart

I poop a lot

I literally just got done pooping

Is this being posted here because of the user who didn't poop for 3 days?

Shitpost taken literally

When that burrito plug came loose, my brain started working again in bliss. I believe!

Now we need to find the poster who wanted to hold it in for three days and see if there has been a cognitive decline.... for science

So what does it mean when you poop 8 times a day?

Startlingly relevant to this sub in two ways

If a genie ever gives me three wishes, one of them will be that I never have to use the bathroom again. I hate every second of it. Maybe the cognitive decline is worth avoiding pooping so often.

"Do you want Beans memes? Because that's how you get Beans memes."

I must be a genius because I'm three times a day. I need to stick to my FODMAP diet

When else are you gonna doomscroll

Thanks to my anti-rejection meds (or one of the other meds I take along with them) my poop has been easy peasy. Like soft serve.

how tf can someone go 3 days w/o pooping? I'm taking steps after the first day.

What about pooping 3x a day?

That's some rough shit

Oh no, Hank Hill is gonna be so distressed :c