this post was submitted on 05 Dec 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 82 points 1 year ago (3 children)

B, and it isn’t even close.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (5 children)

What about B appeals to you

[–] platypode 86 points 1 year ago

Also balding

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago (3 children)

It’s more that infinite uncles implies an incredibly high rate of being molested. If it’s literally infinite, it’s being molested a lot.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Uncles or fish is irrelevant, infinite anything with mass presumably fills the entire space of the universe immediately and collapses everything into a giant singularity.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Only within a finite space. If the universe is infinite then they can be spaced arbitrarily far apart

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

If the space was infinite, we wouldn't exist.

From the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:

It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Wouldn't the non molester uncles protect you from the molester uncles thereby creating war on earth between the uncles that want to molest you and the ones that want to protect you.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

I would also like to prevent a war where one possible outcome is a whole army molesting me.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Infinite uncles means the population of earth is completely unsustainable and the collapse of every system is imminent.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

For me, literally everything except the balding and I really couldn't give a shit, I'll buzz it all off anyway.

Infinite rare fish? Well as it happens, fishing is my biggest hobby, so that's just fuckin delightful.

Mongolian real estate empire? Well that's passive income and/or something I can sell. As a mongol mogul, in gonna try working the angle of an exotic but affordable fishing, hunting, and nature tourism destination, really try to put Mongolia on the map for Western tourists.

No taxes dovetails nicely here, also making it easier to both expand as well as make the business model more resilient.

Neighbors scared of me? Great! If they seem cool, I'll reach out to them, otherwise, fear is a great way to not have to deal with shitty neighbors! In Mongolia they'll be far away anyway.

Night light to keep the monsters at bay.

And the balding we will deal with by just keeping it buzzed low or shaving my head completely.

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[–] [email protected] 62 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

B all the way. I'll use my real estate and no taxes to figure out a way to make a fuck ton of $400/month apartments like it's 1990 to help the less fortunate/average person. I'll then use the no taxes to hopefully refine my business model to the point of making my affordable apartment business more widespread across the entire country and just keep expanding until I get either assassinated or receive a Nobel Prize.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

rip in pices

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Depends on how scared the neighbors are. Are they "let's avoid that guy" scared, or "we better kill him before he kills us" scared ?

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[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 year ago (2 children)

B is preferable mainly because the prospect of always being hard seems horrible.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago

Having to contact my doctor every 3 hours sounds exhausting.

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Ok and hear me out here... Tell me more about the Uncles.

Because if they are gainfully employed in a variety of fields I now have amazing contacts for anything on the cheap.

If they are the "handsy" uncles, they are significantly less desireable.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (3 children)

You have an infinite number of uncles. Statistically, many of them are going to be billionaires, handsy creeps or creeps out to collect your hands.

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Infinite rare fish sounds awesome, but I'm a bit concerned about logistics

[–] Justas 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Infinite things, by definition, can not be rare.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Unless you control their availability.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago

C: bitch slap idiots that make these memes.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago
[–] Varyk 17 points 1 year ago

B. Obviously. Not even a question

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

of those 12 attributes, only two of them are desirable.

I'm just gonna opt out of this entire post.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Infinite rare fish

They’d no longer be considered “rare” then, right? Or can only I eat/keep them?

Night light

Could be good or bad. Is this a night light in just one specific room? Is it a flashlight I always have on me to use as needed? Is it a glowing orb that floats around me that I can’t control?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Every rare fish is the only one of its kind

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Can I unplug the night light?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

yeah but theres a second one

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

yeah but there's a third :(

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

B. Sell all the fish, House the homeless, not have to pay taxes on anything including selling of fish and housing the homeless, walk past my neighbors every night at 10:01 PM with a cart of rare fish, pay for more hair with rare fish.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

I thought this was about Animal Crossing because of the fish but regardless B

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Do all the fish exist right away or I can just like summon them from the void whenever I want?

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

B. Use fish to fund low income/homeless/transitional shelters. Also, balding. That's more hair than I have now!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Is Mongolian real estate empire a tent shop?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

What kind of "guess the billionaire" game is this?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Probably A. Gotta get that balding

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Both are balding. You are just covering up the fact that you want an infinite amount of uncles

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

No, just the balding. (How did you know?)

[–] Corkyskog 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think people are overestimating the ease of selling and market demand for rare fish. Most are likely not edible or desirable to be eaten.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Oh they're dead fish? I was hoping to restore threatened and endangered species.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Seriously specific

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

A, I'd create an uncle army and take over the world.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I'm more peaceful, I would just make an uncle reactor.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

B. Not even a question. A is awful (except being friends with Tom could be chill)

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

On the one hand, no taxes. On the other,

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Infinite rare fish sounds like a modded skyblock resource generation system

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