What is it called, when you are a highly functional, somewhat extroverted but also burdened with crippling social anxiety? Asking for a friend.
this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2023
547 points (99.8% liked)
196
16601 readers
1621 users here now
Be sure to follow the rule before you head out.
Rule: You must post before you leave.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
My wife suffers from this. It's called clinical anxiety and depression, with a heavy dose of ADHD. She needs medication to keep it in check, and some days, even that's not enough. Trying to get her out of the house every few days is like pulling teeth.
On top of that, my wife is an introvert by nature, but you'd never know in a social setting, as she will talk everyone's ear off all night long. I found out that's her nervous tick; when she feels the social anxiety kicking in, she just lets the ADHD take charge and will run her mouth non-stop. When she gets home from any social event, even just a quiet evening hanging out with a close friend, she'll collapse from exhaustion and sleep for half a day afterward.
You're basically describing me, except with the genders flipped and depression in stead of bipolar with most tendency towards hypomania, which goes just SWELL with anxiety and becoming fake extrovert when my social anxiety is bad!
Basically can't make myself shut up for two seconds around people when the hypomania is at its worst and people are always exhausting and stressful to be around too much, even my favourite ones 😮💨😄
It is called being just like me fr fr.
I'm very much of the belief that most mental disorders partially originate from adaptive mental traits that evolved to help humans be more successful. For autism, social functioning tends to improve as people on the spectrum mature. Human social groups were more tight nit in the past, and high functioning autistic symptoms probably weren't identified by ancient peoples until the child was several years old. The group would probably ensure those people made it to adulthood due to their initial investment, so despite their social difficulties, the benefits of autism would make them extra useful members of society as they get older.
In social animals, diversity in mental functioning can be very beneficial, with only a few anxious animals keeping watch for the rest of the herd. A key aspect of mental disorders is that they hinder one's ability to function in society, but the requirements to function in society are quite relative. As the work we do changes, humans need less strength and physical fitness to work productively until retirement age. Our economic system and society are alien to the system that humans evolved for. What is illness in one context might be an advantage in another.
This is the case with many illnesses and "defects," not just mental disorders. Growing thick fur all over your body is a "genetic defect" for humans, but not for most mammals. Putting a tree climbing animal in a desert will probably kill them, as would putting a polar bear in the tropics. Putting a goldfish or a blue whale on land will kill both, the goldfish because it can't breathe air, and the blue whale because it's body can't support it's own weight without water's buoyancy.
When 1 in 5 people have mental disorders in your society, and most people experience one at some point, we should ask ourselves if it's requirements and structures aren't part of the problem. When one country has an issue that it didn't use to have or have larger problems than comparable countries, the organization of society probably plays a role.
Amen to that. Evolutionary psychology is very fascinating.
Also: plant; cat
ugh. Friend convinced me to go roller skating last night.
Felt just like an alien. For so many reasons; I do not belong there. Can't skate, can't socialize, so I just sat there watching the people who can. Only good thing is I can tell my therapist I tried
You just sat there. Doesn't sound like you tried
For some people the mere act of going outside, let alone to a gathering with people, requires a significant amount of effort.
It's me. I'm some people.
for real, condescending take by the other commenter. They have no idea the resolve it took to put myself in that situation. I can't help that I was out of place, except if I had refused to even go? What would that have accomplished?
It's okay. Take a deep breath and do a single item on your self-care list. You did good.
This self-fellatio is really sad ngl. I literally have the same issues in social situations, but I'm actually doing something about it
A) They don't say they didn't they to socialize, just that it's what they did.
B) You're basing this of incredibly limited information. You have no idea how severe their issues are or even really what they are, so no you probably don't "literally have the same issues"
C) Going out at all sounds like it is them doing something about it. Just because they haven't made as much progress as you doesn't mean they aren't working hard at improving.
Yeah no shit. It's me aswell. But when I take the effort to go someplace I'm not going to sit and twiddle my thumbs
eh, mighty presumptuous of you, who weren't even there. How would you know?
I sat there after being left to struggle on my skates by the people I went with, falling a dozen times, alone - and that was actually the best part, in that moment I did have fun, and it was random strangers who encouraged me and had a laugh with me.
But in a huge room with so many people all moving in different directions, lights flashing in the dark, loud music, it was very overwhelming and disorienting. I had trouble recognizing people, and I sat there because all our stuff was there, and I knew they would come back eventually.
It just wouldve been nice to have someone take my hand and help me onto the rink. I asked for that, and they knew I couldn't skate, but it was more important for them to get practice and show off.
I want to be a robot(ic-appearing cyborg) for the aliens.
Or maybe Nordic scientists in 200+ years, which probably would be the equivalent of aliens for me who only speaks English.
I'm pretty sure I have Schizoid Personality Disorder though, not autism. (probably similar in the ways that matter, or maybe worse)
Humanoid alien robot.
As an autistic myself, I personally feel like a colorless blob of nothingness for the most part.